Post First Date - To follow up? If so, when/how?

[BJP1991]

Hey Everyone,

Just got home from a successful first date last evening (saturday night). Met this girl on Hinge and setup an evening date for drinks - we had 3-4 drinks over the course of 3ish hours at 3 different bars on the same street. Ended up back at her place, hooking up twice and I slept there (she insisted, I was fine with it).

My question for you all is if you follow up after dates like this, and if so, how/when? Typically, I will wait 3-4 days to follow up, say I had a nice time, and text something along the lines of "would be great to see you again, whats your schedule like later this week/coming weekend?" I'm already thinking it would be nice to have her over one evening for dinner, or something along those lines.

I know many of you insist on never chasing or usually allowing the girl to do all the initiating, which is understandable, but I'd like to hear both sides of the coin if at all possible.

I am seeing other women as well, so it is not at all like this new girl is the only one I am thinking about seeing again/more often.

Cheers,
BJP

 

[backseatjuan]

I would wait 3 to 4 days but instead of finding out when she is free, I would suggest a particular day, if she's not free of course let her do her own sh1t.

 

[RickTheToad]

It's better to wait until she contacts you. Although, if you've not heard from her in a few days, reach out and say hi.

 

[BJP1991]

I would wait 3 to 4 days but instead of finding out when she is free, I would suggest a particular day, if she's not free of course let her do her own sh1t.

Does anyone else think that suggesting a specific day is too particular/specific? What about just asking about the weekend (not weekday)?

 

[backseatjuan]

You got it going properly for you. You just need a little bit of correction, link, link

 

[RickTheToad]

Does anyone else think that suggesting a specific day is too particular/specific? What about just asking about the weekend (not weekday)?

If you met her yesterday, reach out on Tuesday or Wednesday and ask her when she's free to do something. I caution not to ask on a specific day as it will make her wonder if she's the only think you've got going for yourself. Make sure you get to her place, so you can attempt to make out and/or fvck.

 

[BJP1991]

If you met her yesterday, reach out on Tuesday or Wednesday and ask her when she's free to do something. I caution not to ask on a specific day as it will make her wonder if she's the only think you've got going for yourself. Make sure you get to her place, so you can attempt to make out and/or fvck.

Agreed - I plan to just ask about her weekend availability (or maybe weekend/next week).

As for the actual words of the text, what are some simple examples that others have used when initiating contact 3-7 days after a first date (w/hookup)?

 

[flowtheory]

Text her on Monday around noon. Don’t worry about waiiiiting a certain amount of days; games are boring and for women. Let her hamster naturally spin because your high value, not because you know tactics.
Suggest a specific day and date and let her respond. Lead this interaction. Don’t ask her for her schedule. Bring her in to your world/frame.

“Had a good time with you Saturday. Was going to check out the art gallery (or somewhere cool but different than your first date) on Thursday evening at 7:30pm, want to join me?”

 

[Mazer]

High interest women will contact you, if she doesn’t you have to assume medium interest, reach out to her and if you get a no and no counter you can assume low-interest and move on.

 

[BJP1991]

It’s truly interesting to see the variety of responses on when to contact, when you look at other sites, then here almost everyone says to wait x-days. Some insist that sooner is better, while others say waiting 4-7 days is best. Some say a full week or more (which I don’t think I would be able to commit to, personally, but to each-their-own).

I personally feel more comfortable waiting 3-5 days to contact, however I wonder if the act of hooking up/letting her cuddle me and reciprocating it/sleeping in her bed necessitate a quicker follow-up or initiation for a second date. I’m going to believe that the answer is “no”.

When re-initiating after 4-7 days, do you guys just go straight to asking her availability in the first text, after telling them it was nice to meet them? What sort of text-game do you guys implement after a first date hookup?

I’ve had a fair share of experiences where I used to text a girl the next day (after hooking up) to say I had a nice time last night, to which they generally agreed and said something like “you’re so sweet”, which now borderline makes me cringe to hear, so I avoid next-day texts, generally. Call it game playing or whatever you want, but I’m busy trying to meet other women as well and don’t mind letting her “wonder” about me or to let some anticipation build as to when I will contact her again.