"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Post breakup reading material

BeTheChange

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"The Alchemist" was recommended by a friend as a hugely transformative book in terms of shifting perspective and outlook during periods of emotional instability. I plan to read this around Day 25 of NC and finish it on Day 30.

Have any of you guys found there are certain pieces of literature which have had a profound impact on you during these type of potentially life altering moments?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Desdinova

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I don't do a lot of reading, but I take comfort in things like music and one particular movie called "The Principal". It starts with him beating the 5hit out of his ex-wife's BF's car, and it doesn't have any romance added to the end for the sake of making his life more "complete". He basically says "fvck everything" and works at doing his job the best he can. It's one of the few movies I can say that doesn't encourage any "blue pill" thinking intertwined. He's completely solo in trying to pull himself out of a difficult slump. Just a man for himself, and that's it.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear BeThe Change,
I really like the sound of "The principal"don't know if it is available down under...You are not the only one believe me...The best read I can recommend is "The Marriage Diaries"by Bettina Arndt...follows the sex lives of 115 couples...Those poor Guys,the hell these Witches Wives put most of their Husbands through through...read it and realise you are lucky...don't get pressured into it again!
 

2Rocky

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I read The Alchemist on a flight to the Caribbean a week after I told my STBX we were done. It affected me. Probably helped me grieve the relationship and realize it was a step in a journey.

I ordered Love Factually on the advice of the Art of Manliness Podcast.
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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daddymonsterpoodle

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The red pill, especially the sidebar material. Seduction on reddit, about inner game. Book of pook, the rational male, models, ... Its all good stuff.
 

Desdinova

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I really like the sound of "The principal"don't know if it is available down under
It's an old movie. You should be able to find it.

I find myself relating to it at the beginning, and then being strengthened by it at the end. Perfect movie for helping you get back on your feet. Here's a clip of total badass goodness...

 

Vulpine

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The "Attitude" section of the DJ Bible.

Link
Bottom of the page
 

PantyWhisperer

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Read the Great Gatsby and be glad you're not Gatsby. The ultimate Beta who posed as an Alpha and as soon as he got the girl, he went Beta again and lost it all.
I love the book, but not for the same reason that women do. I read it as a cautionary tale. Nick is the only one who has his poop together. :)
 
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