"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Possible to reignite attraction after it was strong but than you wimped out?

Learning

Don Juan
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Hi

I was just wondering if you once had super strong unbelievable attraction with a woman but than destroyed that attraction through super needy, insecure, desperate wimpy antics -- Is it possible to build that attraction back? Is there any difference if she is or isn't in a new relationship? Do you have to wait a certain amount of timeThis was a long distance relationship where we never saw each other in person.

How would you go about it?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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tsmith2334

Master Don Juan
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I doubt few, if any, members here will agree with me on this, but I think it is possible to rekindle attraction, even upon messing up pretty bad.

If there's an inherent, physical attraction between the two of you, more likely than not I think it is possible (though not guaranteed) that the attraction can be reignited given time.

This can usually be explained with women who continue to date their abusive, lousy, wimpy ex-boyfriends. And they usually don't even truly change or make an attempt to do so.

That's what makes it important to note that, no matter what you or she or anyone else does... you can't change a physical attraction. If she thinks you're hotter than George Clooney, she'll always feel that way... assuming you don't grow a mo-hawk and gain three-hundred pounds. The emotional attraction is what you have to work on, the physical stuff is and always will be in your favor.

The important factors here are usually time and change (while ironically partially staying the same). The girl will most likely not be attracted to you again overnight. It could take anywhere from six months to three years, in all honesty.

Furthermore, you have to have consciously made an effort change the negative aspects that would have turned her off, while maintaining the characteristics that she liked. (I.E. you're more confident and less jealous now, but still funny and considerate of her feelings... just an example).

I have noticed myself getting second and third chances with women that would have been considered a lost cause by giving it time, changing my demeanor, and coming back unaffected and as confident as ever.

In fact, in some instances I've found the girl more attracted to me than she ever was in the first place, while I've moved on to new prospects and plates.
 

Lord Shinra

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I agree with you tsmith, but the situations are very, very limited in when its possible.
I can give you an example of that being an ex fb of mine that just fizzled out due to my wussy and pretty not proper antics, which 2 years later I successfully re spun. Its possible, but like was said above there has to be attraction to begin with.

If you feel it, try it, but I usually stay away from situations I feel are going back in time.
 

astrophysic

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I have a question, not a reply. You seem like you may be able to answer it. I met a girl while we were staying at a hostel, and twice she came onto me very strong while drunk. I don't drink. She didn't touch me- it was all verbal. Anyway she's hot but I didn't make a move because I'm not comfortable moving on a drunk girl. Now my friends tell me she's probably lost all attraction for me. Do you suppose that's true, and if so, is it possible to reignite the attraction?
 

Boilermaker

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OP:

Yeah, I have done that more than a few times, and let me tell you,

these things are very "organic"

there's no such thing as taking attraction and snapping it in a second.

Of course, there's a point where you go to "plastic deformation"

where there's no point of return,

but if you "DJ" up at the right time,

even after you acted needy initially, you can take a lot of it back.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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TillTheEndOfTime

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Attraction is mainly a physical force. As long as you don't CREEP a girl out, there is always a chance of getting back in the picture.

On the other hand, no amount of technique can EVER overcome a lack of physical attraction. Ever.
 
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