Possible BPD Ex/Did I handle the Situation Correctly?

[UndercoverAFC]

Dude I don't blame you but you took too seriously . The diabolical thing about bpds they seem normal but they aren't . I don't what to say but to go ghost and forget it but you won't . You will analyse and replay crap and this will drive you nuts. You must break off and block contact with her otherwise you will be in hell

I'm not saying that she was BPD, but there a lot of signs of that. 1 time a week for over a year would not have been enough for me anyway considering it was only for a few hours and then we'd bang and go to sleep before waiting another 7 days to see each other.

well looking back at my BPD relationship things didn't start going south until I started seeing her more than just on the weekends. She even admitted to me she got tired of her ex and seeing him everyday before we started dating that should of been a red flag.

You said **** went south after she moved in with the ex, ounds like she was aware of how quickly she gets bored with men and wanted to keep the relationship going as long as possible. It probably would of failed anyways, but had you backed off a bit you probably would of been able to bang her a little longer.

Just be happy your out of it, even if she wasn't BPD why would you want to be with a woman who can't see you more than once a week without getting bored of you? **** that

She said that she would spend a couple of days there then they would fight and she would ran back to her dads house for a couple of weeks.

Other red flags: She said that she didn't trust herself not to sabotage the relationship after the first month and a half. She said she doesn't think anybody is worthy of trust. Said that spending more time with me should be easy because she has a great time with me but she is just sorting herself out. Hypersensitivity in all aspects to control, would request nothing from me except mental helath support and i was not able to request anything from her. After talking about her dark moods continuesly said she didn't want to have this 'power' over me.

 

[UndercoverAFC]

yeah the problem is they pretty much ruin your opinion of women forever because nothing tops the honeymoon phase normal women are boring to me these days, even though I knew the girl I fell in love with wasn't "real" per say and too good to be true, I still crave that high from the initial honeymoon with her. And I probably will be chasing that my entire life.

Just something I wouldn't wish on anyone...Makes you question reality and start to wonder what's real and what isn't.

I'm still mind ****ed by the entire thing, how she could quickly devalue me in her and disconnect like i didn't even matter to her. I felt used a when we saw each other casually twice like i was being used for sex when we on a break, before i went ultimately beta and said i couldn't do it anymore and have to know whether she can be in a committed relationship.

I don't consider 1 time a week anything more than ****buddy unless the two people can't for other reasons. She distorted a lot of things i said and spoke like therapist when describing peoples emotions.

 

[UndercoverAFC]

She posted all these pictures with her new boyfriend and looked real happy, dudes a real beta who would probably do anything for her, so she'll get her 1 time a week.

I've moved on now but just cant wrap my head around the entire thing, a girl that i though was so into me have a panic attack and suddenly say she can't be in a relationship anymore and monkeybranch over to a new dude.

Probably be to think she was crazy or not into me

 

[mikey2012]

She posted all these pictures with her new boyfriend and looked real happy, dudes a real beta who would probably do anything for her, so she'll get her 1 time a week.

I've moved on now but just cant wrap my head around the entire thing, a girl that i though was so into me have a panic attack and suddenly say she can't be in a relationship anymore and monkeybranch over to a new dude.

Probably be to think she was crazy or not into me

let her be....forget her.... why do you care.... she just a ho...

 

[GS750]

If this chick is a legit borderline, then be glad it's over. I've got one in my recent past and holy hell, what a nightmare. But the first thing she did after we split, just like your chick, was latch onto another dude and post "happy couple" pics all over facebook. There is no winning with a bordeline, as others have said. There is no making sense of their behavior. They quickly detach and devalue you because they have been doing that since childhood. There was likely no real emotional attachment there to begin with. So they branch swing. New guy. Clean slate. New honeymoon period all over again. She'll do this for the rest of her life.

 

[UndercoverAFC]

If this chick is a legit borderline, then be glad it's over. I've got one in my recent past and holy hell, what a nightmare. But the first thing she did after we split, just like your chick, was latch onto another dude and post "happy couple" pics all over facebook. There is no winning with a bordeline, as others have said. There is no making sense of their behavior. They quickly detach and devalue you because they have been doing that since childhood. There was likely no real emotional attachment there to begin with. So they branch swing. New guy. Clean slate. New honeymoon period all over again. She'll do this for the rest of her life.

Maybe I was wrong, she does seem to be happy with the new guy, but she was extremely happy with me at the start too. I guess she start seeing faults in him and start distancing herself emotionally once things settle down. I could of possible overeacted with the 1 time a week thing but **** being with a girl I can't see more than a **** buddy. I feel sorry for her previous ex who spent only 1 times weekfor like a year and a half straight apart from the odd holiday

 

[Dgwizdal]

Sad to say but the only way to keep BPD chicks around for the long haul is to treat them like sh!t. No matter how much they try to manipulate you or accuse you of not loving them and whatnot, NEVER give them that validation. Disappear for weeks at a time, let them know how fvcked up they are, always remain detached, calm, and collected and she will chase you forever and worship you. They gravitate towards those they cannot shake as a pillar to her whirlwind emotions and empty black soul.

Stick to the above, and she will be yours whenever you want her, dropping any other plans or commitments to be your slave in hopes that she can make you love her - subconsciously chasing the type of f*cked up relationship she had with one of her parents that "abandoned" her and never gave her that validation. They associate "love" with pain and longing so when you finally give it to them - the pain and longing is gone and so is the "love." This is the ONLY way to keep them in that honeymoon phase. B!tches are fvcked in the head. I've kept mine on a leash for 4 years as a side chick and semi-main plate this way whereas she'll date guys for 3 months, chew them up and spit them out. She'll spend every waking second with me if I allowed her to.

Unfortunately, it's not worth the drama and BS that goes along with it. The above is not any sort of foundation for a real relationship which is why i gave her the boot. It's a fvckin headache.

But when things are going good - Goddamn it's hard to beat that high with a "normal" girl.

 

[UndercoverAFC]

The relationship became difficult atone time a week, constant guilt tripping, hypersensitive to any type of control, she kept saying she didnt want to have this power over me in regards to her mental health and kept saying she also trust herself nor to sabotage the relationship. My psychologist said that it could be years until she fully trusted me if at all

manipulate you or accuse you of not loving them and whatnot, NEVER give them that validation. Disappear for weeks at a time, let them know how fvcked up they are, always remain detached, calm, and collected and she will chase you forever and worship you. They gravitate towards those they cannot shake as a pillar to her whirlwind emotions and empty black soul.

Stick to the above, and she will be yours whenever you want her, dropping any other plans or commitments to be your slave in hopes that she can make you love her. I've kept mine on a leash for 4 years as a side chick and semi-main plate this way whereas she'll date guys for 3 months, chew them up and spit them out.

Unfortunately, it's not worth the drama and BS that goes along with it. The
above is not any sort of foundation for a real relationship which is why i gave her the boot. Party time is over.

 

[UndercoverAFC]

You know it's funny you say that cause it did feel like she respected and was eager to please when I confronted her in anger. But I wouldve had to maintain frame to keep like you did, it was almost like deal with a 3 year old and I had to a mindreader sometimes