"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Possible Advice

pauljamesrecker

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I’ve liked this girl for 5-6 years now. She has a great personality, very attractive, close with her family like I am, and someone I could see myself marrying. We used to work together but never dated because we both were with others.

After we both went to college, we always kept in touch via e-mail/text with me always doing the contacting. I have always told her how much I think the world of her and how beautiful she is. She’s told me I’m a great guy and someone who reminds her of her father. We had a few meaningful conversations about the people we were dating at the time. However in my mind, I was thinking about how much I really wanted to date her. She’s told me how much she’s liked the things I’ve sent her (birthday cards/money) but I never hear from unless I reach out to her first via e-mail/text message/birthdays-holidays.

As it now stands, she has moved to another city about 1 hour from where I’m at. At this point, what should I do? I don’t want to stop contacting her because I’m afraid I’ll never hear from her again but simultaneously I’m tired of being the one initiating the conversation.

I think I know what I need to do but wanted to ask another opinion. Please let me know when you have time.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Willard

Senior Don Juan
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Apr 4, 2011
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Sent her money, why? She doesn't sound very interested. Have you made any moves? It sounds like a lost cause, you can always ask her out on a date and try to have sex with her, but an hour away, sounds like a waste of time.
 

DJFear

Don Juan
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Mar 30, 2009
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Well this looks like a classic "nice guy, friend zone" situation. From what you are saying it doesnt sound like she sees you as bf material but rather just as a friend. Try something sexual and flirty with her. If she doesnt respond, move on.
 
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