Possessive Girlfriend

[the_great_gaia]

AND this is a real post. Very real. And it's even harder on me because I'm going thru it, I would never waste the opportunities and help I receive from So Suave. com, I wouldn't post anything fake, it would benefit me nothing at all. I come here because I need help and advice, and i refuse to leave until i get that. I'm starting to lose myself. I will not give up. But again, this post is not fake. 100% reality.

 

[jbbrain]

It's all KINDA funny. I mean, you actually SEE the torture and all the wrongdoings this girl has been putting you through. You live with it, and you're aware of it.

1st step is diagnosing the problem. All of these GREAT replies have helped you see the light. But I got the feeling something wasn't right in the initial stages.

You mention you're "attached" to her. Well, the answer is laid down right there in all of its problematic 8 letter glory.

You're attached to this chick. By now, you should realize that this is NEVER a good thing. This culmination of disrespect, misunderstanding, inconsistent behaviour etc etc is all a consequence of this attachment you think you feel for this girl.

Until you can get your head out of your ass, use a little perspective on the whole issue (will u really be marrying this girl? etc) and finally see that this attachment is not in fact some sign of eternal love from cupid but rather stems from an unhealthy need for acceptance/more ego, you will continue in this perpetuation of suffering and confusion you now find yourself in.

Wake up dude.

 

[netman]

Gaia, look man I'm trying not to judge you and call you names, but damn you got serious reality issues. Something's not clicking right in your brain, especially after all these replies.

I recently had a girl that like your girl had a bad attitude and was trying to be controlling, and she would constantly talk about us getting married and having a future together (when we get married this, when we get married that). I was buying into all of that for about 8 months, and slowly after her attitude became too much for me to bare and her constant "when we get married" BS started getting to me real bad, I totally turned the tables on her and I tried to leave her over and over, but she wouldn't "let me" if that makes sense. I felt almost trapped. After that she was always in my face, calling me 24/7, but the more she smothered me the farther she pushed me away. It's over, and it's been about a month and half, but she still calls me almost every day or every other day trying to get me to get back with her. Hell no!!!!

Like you, at one point I thought that I could never be without her, but I realized what I was doing was giving up my life and my future to this bytch. AND she's a HB9, so looks don't mean anything if that's what's keeping you wanting to stay with her. I'm sooo glad I'm single. It's been a short time, but I'm already talking to like 3 chicks. Trust me, there is life without this bytch. Stop taking that abuse man. Yes, it's abuse; at least that's what it felt like to me when I was with that chick.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
the_great_gaia...

Wake Up, The Matrix Has You!!!

Follow the Puerto Rican Rabbit...

I'm, not calling you fake, but your lack of knowledge makes you unbelievably naive. You've known of this site for a year, yet you seem to be blind to reality. We are here to wake you up, don't fret! After we get through with you, you are going to become a man! Go back and read this entire thread again, and start with your initial post!

Then post here what you got from what we DJs posted so far! Give us your conclusion!

 

[Ice Cold]

What do you know...

He likes eating her sh1t. Let him do it. Maybe he won't find a better girl after all.

Dude - marry her and she'll change

 

[E-Z Rider]

You know- what's really sad is that when this chick breaks up with him, he'll probably get all depressed and want her back.

That's like being depressed after getting early parole.


And gaia...I'd suggest you do get away. Take a road-trip for a couple of weeks, camp out by yourself in the desert. Discover, to the full extent of reality, that you are a pathetic tool and need to change. You need to completely redefine who you are. If you want to be even remotely happy in life.

That is all- -E-Z

 

[MetalFortress]

Gaia, look up Stockholm Syndrome...

 

[Howie Farkes]

Originally posted by the_great_gaia
She likes for me to mastrubate in front of her because she says it's "entertaining". She's even ejaculated it for me a few times. But... I have NEVER even seen this girl's NIPPLE or anything. The most revealing I've seen of her was her cleavage or her belly button ring. She says she's not ready to show herself off to me, yet I do it for her all the time- she enjoys watching me climax (as sick as that sounds).

Dude... next time you should come all over her - then maybe you'll at least get to see something of her body as she takes off her spunk covered threads.

Seriously though, it's really hard to believe that that's all true. Takes all kinds I s'pose...

 

[LuvMyArmyMan]

maybe he likes being a sniviling little weasle that is controlled by his wacky, b1tchy, insane, posessive, ho of a girlfriend.

If you arent willing to change, then you arent going to listen to anyone's advice.

You post here, asking for advice. They gave it to you, saying to break up. But you dont want to break up, youre too attached. Yeah, and she has you on a leash by your balls! If you arent willing to actually listen to anyones advice, dont post in the first place, asking for it. She's only using you for her entertainment and car. Oh, and another thing, she's a dumb high school broad. No wonder. Why stick around with the dumb inexperienced hos when you can be dating mature college WOMEN? and not girls?

You know what you have to do. Take some fcuking initiative!

 

[Roots]

Mike, I'm glad that you decided to fill me in on your more personal feelings, and hopefully if you go along with me, we can lighten up the stresses that you feel right now.

I think the most important ideas that will help you better see the issues is to look at what you actually say. Although there seems to be a lot of emotional attachment, its fortunate that a lot of it is superficial. What I mean is, you really are confused but it is completely understandable. So lets see this one idea at a time.

"She made all these plans with me.. I've dated plenty of girls and Andrea is nothing like the rest of them.... no other girl ever made these plans with me before." - Well, this is deffinitely one of the tying ideas I was talking about. Ironically its a common sense conclusion. As you said before, you do not tend to be the most self-confident person, and what can a less-confident person want more in a relationship than a guaranteed rate of success. You believe that Andrea intends to stay with you permenantly, and the idea is to your fancy. Wether this idea comes from your lack of confidence in finding another partner or from fear that you will never marry, doesn't matter. Your fault at this stage is believing that what Andrea tells is the truth. With all due respect, Andrea is 17 and the chances of her being truthfull about such a serious comittment is questionable. You must agree with that as you said the following:

"But I noticed something... when she tells me these things, her body language does not match. Actions over words, right? So now it's hard for me to believe her. I even think I feel like I want to be with her because she has me "confused". " - That's very probable. Your preoccupation with the marriage idea has you holding on while the common sense receptors in your head are telling you to let go. Obviously the preoccupation seems to be stronger as its in the form of an emotional need, and emotions are best left alone by logic. Fortunately you are aware of this logic telling you to leave her or you would not be asking this in the first place.

Next: "She told me she knows she needs to change, but she can't do it overnight. She's always worrying about being hurt, but she never once thinks about WHO SHE'S hurting.. " - Here's another thing backing up your "evil" side. She gives you the impression that she wants to change and you, although being extremely skeptical, believe it. You know that she can't change enough to make you happy again, but the thought of it pulls you deeper into the gridlock.

"It seems like me and her hardly talk anymore and that's really taking a toll on me. All these plans she has lined up.. I can actually see them happening, I mean, she's ALWAYS talking about our future.. but it's one thing she doesn't realize... IF WE DON'T FOCUS ON THE PRESENT, THEY'LL BE NO FUTURE." - Think about it Mike. You really have to start taking things one step at a time, and before you make plans like that you need to develop a very loving relationship. Somewhere in your head you realize that, but you don't want to face the facts. It's understandable. It's a disappointment. A let-down. Not something you expected. But it is what it is, and you can feel it.

Now I'm not going to tell you that you don't love her or that she doesn't love you, but I will tell you this. When you love someone, you KNOW it. Its so clear to you, you don't even question it.

What I'm asking you to do is turn your emotions down a touch, and see if you can look at your thoughts. See if you think things like "I don't want to be alone", or "I don't know if I will find someone else". And try to look at them objectively. Try to realize that they are only thoughts, NOT reality.

I want you to tell me what you think.

-Roots

 

[Life-Trainee]

ROFL, my stomach hurts from laughing. It's time to smell the vagina and dump the HO!! You're living in a fantasy, unless you like being a complete submissive pvssy and that happens to be your fetish.

 

[the_great_gaia]

My thoughts

Roots, I actually connected with what you stated. It is all a mind game she has on me. She'll tell me that she wants to marry because it'll make me feel like I should stay with her. But she could do whatever anyway because I took her words more into truth than she did.
Yesterday, however, I got off of work early and I walked to her job to get my car. When I got to Andrea's job, I really didn't want to leave (one-itis thing), I probably would've waited for her to get off. Andrea's younger comes to the car (because Andrea told her to) and she takes ALL of their clothes and stuff from MY car and askes another guy if they can put their stuff in HIS car. (OUCH) I'm trying to figure out why this is happening, then she leaves. While I'm in the car the following happened:

(My Cell Phone rings)
Mike: Hello?
Andrea: Yeah, what are you still doing here?
Mike: I'm doing something, why?
Andrea: There's no reason for you to still be here, I thought you would've been left by now.
Mike: I take it that you don't want me up here...
Andrea: (sarcasm) wow! you're smart!!
Mike: Yeah, okay I'm about to leave.
Andrea: And Mike, I think we need to have a talk..
Mike: yeah, me too.
Andrea: Mike, I think that we should just be friends.
Mike: WHAT?! WHY?! What did I do?
Andrea: ..and you don't have to worry about taking me to work no more, or taking me to school or none of that; as a matter of fact, I have a ride home from work tonight so you don't have to come back here no more..
Mike: hold on, why are you saying this.. let's talk it out first.
Andrea: I'm about to come to the car to get my CD Player. Bye *click*

I couldn't believe this. I knew our relationsip had a problem, but I am always willing to work things out, hard times come, y'know? But she just gave up on me, and kicked me to the curb like street trash. I wanted a reason. I started to believe that it's because she was interested in somebody else. Andrea came to the car and I tried to get her to talk to me, but she wouldn't. She wanted her CD Player, and that's what she came for. Everything I said, she ignored, I even asked if she would talk to me tonight when she got off, I never heard someone tell me "no" in such a way. She left coldly, and behind I followed. I decided to order something, a BLT from her job. I sat and I waited. When i finally got the sandwich, I ate it slowly. She called me again..

Andrea: Oh my god! When are you leaving?!
Mike: I can't.. move.
Andrea: Well, you need to. You're stalking me. I'm gonna get my manager to come out there and make you leave, and if you still don't, I'll call the police.
Mike: are you serious? I can't believe you're saying this to me!
Andrea: Look, I gotta go..
Mike: ANDREA!!
Andrea: *click*

"I love you so so much Mike", "We'll be together forever", "I know you're the one I want to spend the rest of my life with", "I want to have your children", "I want apart of you so that we'll be connected forever", "I'll never let you walk out of my life", "I want us to be engaged".... these are the voices I heard running thru my mind.. it was her voice; things she said to me in the past. Why is all of this happening? I couldn't take another bite of my BLT because I couldn't stop shaking or crying. All of her co-workers and managers began laughing; even Andrea. But it was one person who didn't laugh. Her younger sister. Andrea came outside to see what was wrong with me, as if she didn't know..

Andrea: Mike, what's wrong??
Mike: *sobs*
Andrea: Stop crying...
Mike: How can you do this to me? I gave half of my life to you. I let you drive my MOM'S CAR, my income is combined with yours. I treated you better than what I'm supposed to.
Andrea: Mike, I don't think I'm the one for you; you can do better. You can find someone that'll treat you better than I have. You deserve better, Mike.
Mike: I want you, I don't care about anyone else! I love you...
Andrea: I love you too..
Mike: Then why are you doing this to me?
Andrea: Mike, have you ever heard that if you love someone and you know what's best for them, you'll do it?
Mike:..yeah?
Andrea: well, us breaking up is the best thing for you. Why aren't you happy and jumping for joy?
Mike: that isn't the best thing for me, I know what's best for me!
Andrea: Well, I have to go..
Mike: Can we talk later when you get off? PLEASE??
Andrea: Mike... no. (leaves)

What the fvck is going on here? At this point, life was as confusing as it had gotten for me. Again, I broke down in sobs, but Andrea's younger comes out to console me. She told me that I shouldn't hold on to something that wants to be let go of. I actually had to let go. While I'm talking, I see Andrea playing around with her co-workers (males) by rubbing on them and going with them in corners; she'd even look back at me and my mouth hit the floor. The co-workers even rubbed her back. Her sister told me everybody does that up here. But the smile on Andrea's face showed me that she wasn't concerned at all about my feelings or me in general. As long as she could smile, I was okay. I left her job, and I went to the mall.

At the mall, I saw a lot of my friends and I told them all what happened. They all told me that I didn't need her and that I should be a PIMP and fvck feelings because they'll get you caught up in some crazy shyt. I guess I needed friends around me, I can actually say I got over her a lot, but there was something still there. I remember wanting to talk to Andrea when she got off of work, (to be continued)

 

[MetalFortress]

In all honesty, she did you a favor. Now you're free to become the man you were meant to be.

 

[Mr.Fortesque]

At last someone did it.

 

[Ice Cold]

WOW - turns out it's a decent AND HONEST girl

2Mr. Fortesque:
Dude - Ceska Zbrojovka rules. I have quite a few... devices from it. All perform nicely

 

[McHenry]

This is one of the Reasons why there should be a site like this, everytime I read this I feel like throwing up.
To all the people here, read this and feel really good about yourselves.
Just Really Go snag some *****.

Gaia, one thing isn't going to instantly solve your problems. Read the Bible(maybe read it 10 times just to be sure).

 

[jbbrain]

educated guess: she has maybe done the greatest favor you have EVER had done for you in your young life.

This was NEVER love my friend. Realize that and carry on with yourself and your life.

 

[netman]

"I love you so so much Mike", "We'll be together forever", "I know you're the one I want to spend the rest of my life with", "I want to have your children", "I want apart of you so that we'll be connected forever", "I'll never let you walk out of my life", "I want us to be engaged".... these are the voices I heard running thru my mind.. it was her voice; things she said to me in the past. Why is all of this happening?

Gaia, don't be too hard on yourself. This type of thing has happened to probably every DJ on this site at least once. It's what you learn from what happened that makes you a better man.

Don't humiliate yourself any longer by going to her job or calling her. Deep down it's not her that you really wanted, but the security that would come from the commitment she was promising you in your better times. That is what's clouding your mind and preventing you to see that you could never be happy committed to a girl like that. I was in similar shoes months back, and in retrospect I realize now that I stayed longer because of just that. I left my LTR, but this chick at least had the "kindness" to finally stop stringing you along. You should thank her.

You're young, take your time, get with other chicks, practice your DJ skills and you'll be a much happier person. Trust me. LIke I mentioned earlier, now I'm dating like crazy and I couldn't be happier. MetalFortress is right; she did you the biggest favor. Now go out and start enjoying life!!!

 

[LikRetsam]

LOLOLOLOL.

Gentlemen, step over to the highschool forum. Except, there, we were smart enough to tell him to not even post the rest because we really didn't wanna read it, but here it is! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Also over there, you'll find his real life friend testifying for what this guy really is. I'm sorry, I don't think I've ever laughed so hard.

 

[myfriendblu]

Why do you have a GF at 20? NEXT NEXT based on that very fact alone.