Poon King on Leading

[resilient]

PK has been gone for a while. One time I PM him almost exactly a year ago about my first plate post-divorce that had been giving me a ton of hot/cold signals in and out of the bedroom. I allowed my ex-wife to strip away my confidence and self-esteem after many years. I was a shell of a man. I had to learn to gain back my all the self-respect I had given up. I didn't know how to steer the ship in the direction I wanted to. I lost frame quick and subsequently, my plate jumped to another branch during my confusion.

That said, here's some of the advice he shared that I wanted to pass on to you guys:

- Women can sense insecurity and neediness in men and it scares them away.
- Women don't want to be your security blanket or therapist.
- A woman's job is to please a man sexually, not the other way around.
- Caring too much of how a woman thinks of you is very unattractive to women.
- The mindset needs to be: "This is who I am and this is what I want.. take it or leave it".
- You should always be bringing women into YOUR world... not going into theirs.
- There is ALWAYS time to spin plates (a reference to my crazy work/school schedule).

One of the central themes of PK's posts was he always redirecting us men to reframe

Think of all the negs, sh!t tests, hot/cold signals, flakiness, radio silence, breadcrumbs as offenses to the man. Almost always Indicators of disIinterest.

A man with abundance or high value doesn't sit there and over-analyze every single little detail. He guides and leads the behavior and rewards her with attention and affection when warranted. However, he can just as much withdraw it if she starts acting up consistently and disrespecting him.

After repeated warnings, he may bump her down from main plate status or drop plate altogether.

 

[exhausted]

Good words.
Thanks

 

[GT40]

Very well stated. Men must lead all the time. Always have game and take things to new
Levels.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I'm convinced that you want the women to do the 'chasing'.

You must first put yourself out there, and then respond in kind when she shows interest. She is the moth to your flame.

The lazy man's guide to women.

I've found this 'cool hand Luke' approach generates more attraction in the women. Also, I do not get over-invested or needy. It's like I am standing in an open posture [and on the shoulders of giants], and it is for the women to move toward me. This is leading, but not me chasing.

As for developing 'feelings'. I think there is a lot of confusion about this. I draw a distinction between emotion and feelings, with feelings the negative and emotion the positive. At some point, that is with a relationship, you want to develop emotion/ intimacy... this has been earned by a process of courtship. 'Feelings', which tend to fly away unrestrained by you, are to be avoided.

There is a base and a super-structure to close encounters of the womanly kind. The super-structural element is a relationship. If that is what you desire from a women, it may require a different base to the standard DJ approach to sleep with a woman as quickly as you can. A steady, constructive, catch the monkey slowly, approach is better for building a relationship [bedding a woman as quickly as you can may short-circuit the emotional/ courtship base required for a relationship].

So the screening process is extremely important:

1] Can I be bothered with this woman?
2] What do I want from this woman.. if anything?
3] Your approach to all women requires a 'goldilocks zone' - not too hot, not too cold... just right. This will differ from woman to woman.

 

[exhausted]

Very well stated. Men must lead all the time. Always have game and take things to new
Levels.

My ex is npd and admits to being a control freak, i am a natural leader (3 sisters, elite athlete, raised a kid on my own, carried the family when my dad passed) so we naturally clashed. What got me even tho she is a control freak she naturally did better when i lead and she always came to me for about every advice possible in life, yet was unhappy and caused fights when she didnt control everything.

This was absolutely exhausting and confusing.

Now she's single and i dont see her ever having anyone. Seriously not being mean or spiteful i dont know how anyone would deal w her as she gets worse w time

 

[Red Legg]

PK has been gone for a while. One time I PM him almost exactly a year ago about my first plate post-divorce that had been giving me a ton of hot/cold signals in and out of the bedroom. I allowed my ex-wife to strip away my confidence and self-esteem after many years. I was a shell of a man. I had to learn to gain back my all the self-respect I had given up. I didn't know how to steer the ship in the direction I wanted to. I lost frame quick and subsequently, my plate jumped to another branch during my confusion.

That said, here's some of the advice he shared that I wanted to pass on to you guys:

- Women can sense insecurity and neediness in men and it scares them away.
- Women don't want to be your security blanket or therapist.
- A woman's job is to please a man sexually, not the other way around.
- Caring too much of how a woman thinks of you is very unattractive to women.
- The mindset needs to be: "This is who I am and this is what I want.. take it or leave it".
- You should always be bringing women into YOUR world... not going into theirs.
- There is ALWAYS time to spin plates (a reference to my crazy work/school schedule).

One of the central themes of PK's posts was he always redirecting us men to reframe

Think of all the negs, sh!t tests, hot/cold signals, flakiness, radio silence, breadcrumbs as offenses to the man. Almost always Indicators of disIinterest.

A man with abundance or high value doesn't sit there and over-analyze every single little detail. He guides and leads the behavior and rewards her with attention and affection when warranted. However, he can just as much withdraw it if she starts acting up consistently and disrespecting him.

After repeated warnings, he may bump her down from main plate status or drop plate altogether.

Gold plated post,and solid advice.

 

[Glassguy]

PK had solid advise. The ones that bashed him were the feminine betas who will never change and are forever doomed with women.

 

[BeTheChange]

Free Poon King!

 

[exhausted]

Free Poon King!

Where is he?

 

[PantyWhisperer]

I think he got perma-banned.