"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
POF girl deletes her pics after our date
- Thread starter zinc4
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Tomthebomb
Don Juan
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Update: I called her tonight and i am meeting her and her GFs for their girl's night out this Saturday night (we originally planned this as our first date but move it up one week) then she asks me where i am staying because i am coming from out of town....i tell her a hotel again and she informs me that she is staying with her friends one of their houses and honestly i am quite surprised...and my voice tone is probably noticeably a little different...
i was shocked to be honest...didn't see it coming....i agree to it on the phone trying to play it off and she asks if i am sure it's ok...and asks if i am ok...and then she says if you don't want to still go just let me know....this was surprising as well...i am usually the one saying stuff like this...
Right after we hang up i decide to write a text message saying actually, it does feel a bit strange to me... i had a good time meeting you but we both shouldn't waste our time with this...good luck meeting other guys....
Because honestly, i was ready to cut it off and meet other women Saturday night...no sleeping together 2nd date after 1st date sex...never happened to me ever before...felt like a slap in the face...just as i was about to press the send button i get a message from her
Hi Zinc, i had a great night and I really enjoyed it, but I don't like that type of hotel at all....or we can go back to your place? Too far?
I called her back really quick and told her it was ok...
Still seems a bit weird to me...maybe the hotel makes her feel cheap or something...it's a pretty low budget hotel....kind of a love motel type deal...
Anyone else have this type of thing happen before....i have to admit she has me guessing a little...usually i feel much more sure of things after first meeting a girl and post sex...she has my hamster spinning a little so to speak...,,,at first i thought her IL was sky high and now i am not so sure...
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Edit: she just sent me a message asking if i am on facebook.....
cordoncordon
Master Don Juan
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You are breaking rule #1, which is when a girl says she is having a girls night out, you say "have a great time!" and go hang out with your friends.
I cannot imagine sitting there with a girl and her friends having to listen to their incessant chit chat for hours.
No thanks Jeff.
cordoncordon
Master Don Juan
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- Jun 2, 2006
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- 2,889
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OK where is Zinc and who is this creature that is posting as him now?zinc4 said:
Because you acting strange. First you are considering going out with a girl on 'girls night out'.....which is bad enough, but to top it off you are acting very emo and butt hurt all because a girl might not be able to have sex with you on the 2nd date because she is with her friends? You are acting like a novice who has no other options. A guy who never gets laid and who if you don't get things exactly your way, will take your ball and go home.
Stop acting like this. Is it your time of the month? Did your gf break up with you and therefore your confidence is shot? I don't get it.
Wish her a fun time with her friends, tell her you both can meet up a day or two after, and go out and meet some other girls. And that is exactly the advice you would have given yourself a month ago.
Cmon man.
no my Gf didn't break up with me...we are on a mutual break......i think i am just getting really homesick over here...my energy seems to be draining somehow
cordoncordon
Master Don Juan
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zinc4 said:
Well personally what I would do in a case like this, where you are weakened both mentally and spiritually, is just take a break from girls all together. I realize that you are over in a foreign country and may not have a ton of guy friends there, but I believe you said you are coming back to the USA soon anyway right? So just forget about girls for a while. I think you are starting to understand what I talked to you about a while ago. Dating multiple girls and sluuuuts for long periods of time can be exhausting and a rather unfulfilling way to live. It's great short term, but long term it gets old, very fast. It seems as if you are dating all of these different girls just to try and fill a void that you are experiencing in your life right now. That never works. I've tried it brah, it just doesn't.
So anyway, concentrate on your karate or whatever it is you do over there, work out, explore the city...freshen up in all ways. So that way when you come back here to the USA, your mind is in the right place for whatever it is you want to do with your life.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
CaConfused
Don Juan
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It definitely shows you where her head is at. I've had this happen before. In a way I thought of it as a badge of honor because they are going all-in so quickly! Check out my post about one-night stands.zinc4 said:
cordoncordon said:
Kungfu.....i am fine...i think i am just missing my family and friends back home and it is creating some kind of void...i come from a very tight nit family...and it is getting old banging randoms, though...but it's always so tempting when i see a new hot chick.....i want to squash the feeling of that temptation before i ever get back into a relationship again by going out with as many new ones as possible this time until i get completely sick of it...
And this girl, i am only planning on seeing one or two more times total...usually 2 times is my cut off limit with these new chicks or 3 times....my sexual IL tends to drop off a cliff after the 2nd and particularly 3rd meeting....and there is another chick who i work with..she just signed on with our company and is a legit 8.5 and has been flirting with me who i am going to ask out this weekend as well....i don't care if i will be banging someone at work at this point because i am leaving in a few weeks...
Update: she sent me a message asking if i was on facebook and i said no, i don't use it anymore i only use skype
Then she sends me a message saying but i found you!
And i do have an active profile...but i never gave her my email....but i figured it would be possible as she knows my last name....i then send a message saying it's old and i prefer not to use it and am breaking away from it....
She sends a messaging laughing saying she was only joking and wanted to see if i really had one or not...and then she goes on about how funny it is...
So a little annoyed at that point i sent her a message saying : you little facebook stalker
