You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Tomthebomb said:You're pressured at the possibility that she's not sexing other blokes while she's dating you? Sounds pretty gay.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
OK where is Zinc and who is this creature that is posting as him now?zinc4 said:No...it was just a little fast feeling when i first saw it...i actually do like her and think there is some real potential there...i just have a problem with relationships in general and commitment in general and was a little flustered when i first saw it because we never talked about anything serious...but like i said, i like her...
Update: I called her tonight and i am meeting her and her GFs for their girl's night out this Saturday night (we originally planned this as our first date but move it up one week) then she asks me where i am staying because i am coming from out of town....i tell her a hotel again and she informs me that she is staying with her friends one of their houses and honestly i am quite surprised...and my voice tone is probably noticeably a little different...
i was shocked to be honest...didn't see it coming....i agree to it on the phone trying to play it off and she asks if i am sure it's ok...and asks if i am ok...and then she says if you don't want to still go just let me know....this was surprising as well...i am usually the one saying stuff like this...
Right after we hang up i decide to write a text message saying actually, it does feel a bit strange to me... i had a good time meeting you but we both shouldn't waste our time with this...good luck meeting other guys....
Because honestly, i was ready to cut it off and meet other women Saturday night...no sleeping together 2nd date after 1st date sex...never happened to me ever before...felt like a slap in the face...just as i was about to press the send button i get a message from her
Hi Zinc, i had a great night and I really enjoyed it, but I don't like that type of hotel at all....or we can go back to your place? Too far?
I called her back really quick and told her it was ok...
Still seems a bit weird to me...maybe the hotel makes her feel cheap or something...it's a pretty low budget hotel....kind of a love motel type deal...
Anyone else have this type of thing happen before....i have to admit she has me guessing a little...usually i feel much more sure of things after first meeting a girl and post sex...she has my hamster spinning a little so to speak...,,,at first i thought her IL was sky high and now i am not so sure...
zinc4 said:yeah, i guess i am acting strange...something this one did must have gotten in my head somehow...thanks for pointing this out...you are right...i would never typically even agree to girls night out and i usually don't care about stuff like this....
no my Gf didn't break up with me...we are on a mutual break......i think i am just getting really homesick over here...my energy seems to be draining somehow
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
It definitely shows you where her head is at. I've had this happen before. In a way I thought of it as a badge of honor because they are going all-in so quickly! Check out my post about one-night stands.zinc4 said:yeah, i guess i am acting strange...something this one did must have gotten in my head somehow...thanks for pointing this out...you are right...i would never typically even agree to girls night out and i usually don't care about stuff like this....
no my Gf didn't break up with me...we are on a mutual break......i think i am just getting really homesick over here...my energy seems to be draining somehow
cordoncordon said:Well personally what I would do in a case like this, where you are weakened both mentally and spiritually, is just take a break from girls all together. I realize that you are over in a foreign country and may not have a ton of guy friends there, but I believe you said you are coming back to the USA soon anyway right? So just forget about girls for a while. I think you are starting to understand what I talked to you about a while ago. Dating multiple girls and sluuuuts for long periods of time can be exhausting and a rather unfulfilling way to live. It's great short term, but long term it gets old, very fast. It seems as if you are dating all of these different girls just to try and fill a void that you are experiencing in your life right now. That never works. I've tried it brah, it just doesn't.
So anyway, concentrate on your karate or whatever it is you do over there, work out, explore the city...freshen up in all ways. So that way when you come back here to the USA, your mind is in the right place for whatever it is you want to do with your life.
I wouldn't assume this. Its very possible she just got tired of all the dumbazz messages guys send her and felt beat down by it all.zinc4 said:I just noticed that a pof chick I banged this weekend took down her pics on Sunday.....kind of odd like she is already thinking of me as exclusive....I am not sure what to make of it. I feel a little pressured.