Please translate girl speak for me

[isasda66]

Dont let her get away with it even once. Women always mistake kindness for weakness.

 

[RangerMIke]

To translate: "I want you to meet my parents, but I also know it's a big step and I don't know what we 'are' right now."

How you respond to this depends on what you want. Regardless... you have to NOT read too much into her underlying purpose of all this, you have to take it a face value. It is simply having dinner with people you haven't met yet.... That's it at face value. It might be a big step for her, but you have to go into this like it's not a big deal. Remember it isn't CONTROL unless it's doing something you do not want to do.

My recommendation is just go to dinner if you do not already have plans. Don't overthink this... don't worry about if she is making some power play... remember you can always just walk away if she starts getting too bossy trying to control you. But you have to draw your own lines.

My line isn't here... if a chick wants me to meet her parents, friends, or family... that's fine, no problem. I like meeting new people. But if this is a line for YOU... then don't go there. For me, my line is if a chick starts asking for money, or free business advice, or giving me advice about my kids... A chick starts trying to tell me how to raise my kids... we are DONE. I don't mix work with fun, if a chick wants to start making it about business... it's not fun anymore, I can't date and be a business partner. Chicks asking for money is self-explanatory, this should be EVERYONE's line.

 

[Seductions_Mad_Scientist]

Allright, just to get the lay of the land, I'm in a LTR and happened to come upon a copy of The Rational Male a few days ago and gulped it down like a cold beer after being lost in the desert.

Now, the ideas there are somewhat in line with what I've come to expect, or should I say suspect, during my life. But it still feels like a revelation to actually see it written down.

However, I have never actually acted in the way this book implies women unconsciously want, and naturally I now see things in the past in a different light.

But also, i feel like it must have affected my behaviour somehow, because today my partner texted me (from work) the following:

"There will be a dinner together with my parents tomorrow. You are going to attend."

The phrasing is a bit unusual for her, though normally I would just read this as a string of information. But now I cant help thinking there is more to it. Should I? If so, can anyone translate this for me and suggest appropriate response? (I'm a Ph.D. of sciences btw, but psychology analphabet sorry to say).

Harold

Edit: Btw, I have no problem with the actual event if anyone wonders. The food is usually awesome.

Most of the guys here nailed it.

Is this the first time that she has behaved this way to you? specifically in regard to saying "you are going to attend." ?

That is not a request. That is a command. If she is commanding you it means at least nominally she is contextually more dominant than you. Which generally speaking, according to most 'relationship theory' is a bad thing. If she is dominant over you she cannot respect you.

So whats the solution here? Assuming you have good communication with her you can probably just talk to her about it. DO NOT get emotionally reactive. Tell her something like "look, I don't have any preference for or against going to the dinner. However, I will not allow you to speak to me this way. I'll forgive you this time and let it slide but you wont get a second chance."

Depending on the overall nature of your relationship to this point (namely if your "beta", which i dont know if you are or not but i hope not) the sudden sense of boundaries will come across as irregular to her. So there is a chance that she can freak out if you say something like the response above. Regardless, if you want to stop this behaviour; you need to set clear boundaries as to how she can or cannot treat you.

Cheers!

 

[MrWood]

Tell her something like "look, I don't have any preference for or against going to the dinner. However, I will not allow you to speak to me this way. I'll forgive you this time and let it slide but you wont get a second chance."

this could backfire and signal to her that this is a man who will not stay for the long haul and her sh1t tests will come hard and fast.
Its also abit butthurt'ish kind of response IMO.

my advice, let this go quietly and continue to observe her behavior.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Guys you’re replying to a one year old thread and the OP hasn’t been here since last April.
This thread was resurrected by none other than our new friend Soldier King.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Harold's girl: "There will be a dinner together with my parents tomorrow. You are going to attend."

Harold: "Looks like you mistakenly ended the last sentence with a period instead of a question mark."