"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

please help

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user99321

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okay so I'm 19... My first girlfriend was BPD... I don't want to go into detail but basically she left me for some jerk. I was devastated but after introspecting, I realized that I enabled her behavior by being a "Nice Guy." I always gave in to her demands and let SOOO many unacceptable actions occur over fear of confrontation or losing her. Anyway... I read sooo much material on this site. I read the Book of Pook among other e-books on this website.

Anyway, after seeing a very attractive girl in the gym a few days ago, I decided that rejection is better than regret. I started talking to her and got her phone number. Later that night, I texted her if she wanted to go out and she said yes. I've been keeping contact to a minimum... but when I have been texting her, I've been kinda ****y. I told her when I would pick her up but did not tell her where I was taking her. Like... I thought the texting was going well until I said something like "I'm in high demand." Am I being a jerk? I didn't say anything mean to her... I just want people to respect me. I'm tired of people taking advantage of my "nice" behavior. Before finding this site, I've been "nice" to girls and excusing their actions like blowing me off by saying "it's okay. maybe I'll see you later." I don't want to suffer from Oneitis, but this girl seems to have a lot of the qualities I'm attracted to. I think all this information has been very overwhelming. I'm worried about tomorrow's date. I guess I just want what everyone wants... acceptance. And I guess being a little too ****y is better than being a little too much of an AFC. It's just hard because I am saying things I have never said before. Maybe I am worrying too much.

Please, I need help!!
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

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Spearmint

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My advice to you is this.

Congratulate yourself on your accomplishment so far. That is, you have gained the number of an attractive girl.

Secondly, stop over analysing and over thinking this situation. It is a curse of today's society.

Worrying is effective as trying to solve a maths equation by chewing bubble gum.

You are placing this girl on a pedestal, so high up, that fear of failure is worrying you.

Chill out and relax.

Be calm. Be cool. Be fun. Be flirty. Be exciting.

Do not berate yourself before anything has even happened.


And last of all.


Do not look for validation from other people be it girl or boy to make yourself feel accepted.

If you have read the book of pook as you have said and not just skimmed it then you should know that a common theme init is to not believe that being with a woman will make you happy.
 
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user99321

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you're right. I mean after all, my friends were envious that I had a girlfriend for over a year and that I was getting consistent action. However, I wasn't any happier. There were times (like when I was getting action) that I was very happy haha. But fights, having my emotions played with, being lied to and cheated on... all of that sucked.
 
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user99321

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I am overanalyzing everything and I think it's gonna mess up the date. Any advice on how to stop doing this?
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

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user99321

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I responded to that thread right before you posted the link in this thread haha

I read that poem constantly after the break-up

"Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,"

I was lied about and hated by her and many people in high school. But a real man does not deal in lies. I actually have this already posted on my wall in my college dorm.
 
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user99321

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thanks for the advice dude

I shouldn't have been nervous at all. She was not what I was hoping for and I am happy i didn't create this great image in my mind like i did in the past

She told me how she never wants to be married or have children... get's in the way of life

Family is so important to me. I just lost all interest in her after that. Is it bad to not attempt to hook up with someone you had fun with but didn't really see any potential, even if she's really cute? haha
 
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