Please help! My best friend is slowly killing himself.

[jaymbrs]

I have a friend in a similar situation. Get him on the phone, tell him to crack open a beer, you do the same, talk about some good times you both had as friends, then let him know what you think about his situation. Be prepared for some backlash but tell him you're telling him these things as a friend and hopes he wakes up and realizes the damage he's doing to himself. In the end, it's up to him to change but you'll atleast sleep better knowing you tried to help.

 

[Grinderman]

They have to hit rock bottom.

This is recovery movement industry speak. They will have you believe that quitting alcohol or any other substance is a difficult process (as you have a disease). It's not. People overcome their limitations every day. People often just outgrow "addictions" Hitting a "rock bottom" is not necessary. People can be taught harm reduction techniques which leads them to better drinking habits, moderation or abstinence, choices that are always stronger choices when the individual arrives at the conclusion himself through a process of trial and error that they would be better served by changing their habits. The AA way is "sobriety (which is a made up concept) or death, jails or the madhouse" often making the person believe that these are the only choices. Then many get coerced into going to aa (by their family, friends, courts) and upon seeing a bunch of men and women trying, with the majority failing, (aa has a revolving door) to not be stumblebums by talking about their daily problems and regurgitating a bunch of horse shiite from their big book, being told to find a bit of God and to make one up if he doesn't believe, holding hands and saying the lord's prayer.........he decides hell if my choice is this crap or going back to being a stumblebum (who now has a disease that he is not in control of) he may as well crack open a bottle.....

Abstinence, moderation, or stumblebum ...........three choices. A person cannot be coerced into choosing abstinence, aa uses fear and bully tactics that often don't lead to lasting changes.

If you say "harm reduction" to someone who believes in the disease model theory or who is involved with the recovery movement industry or aa, they will balk at you, get offended and call you the devil, yet...

Safer sex, to prevent aids and other diseases? Condoms
Safer driving? Speed limits , safety belts.
Yet mention harm reduction....

Then agree to get treatment.

Treatment or rehab does nothing but take money out of it's victims' pockets and take them off the street for a while. how many od or get worse after "treatment"? Too many.

 

[Grinderman]

fvcking easy to break


Its not, my brother drank himself to death recently (heart attack). I tried everything short of locking him up in the Mexican jail system (which I regret now).

In context it said "fvcking easy to break BUT THEY HAVE TO WANT TO FVCKING BREAK IT".


Now, it sounds like your brother DIDN'T WANT TO BREAK HIS ALCOHOL ADDICTION" and perhaps if you were hounding him all of the time , he became RESENTFUL at you and this contributed to his demise.

Those who grow out of addictions simply decide that another way of living is more preferable. Those who make lasting changes do so of their own volition. You cannot coerce people to make lasting changes THAT YOU WANT FOR THEM.

Is there a cure for alcoholism? Yes, it's called abstinence. People quietly choose it all the time and it goes unnoticed because "normal" is just pretty normal. No fanfares. No counting days. No going to meetings and holding hands with a bunch of unwashed strangers. This happens all the time. People quit on their own. Again, you have to want to.

 

[GT40]

@Grinderman treatment can and does help. Yes only 10-20% of the time. But it gets most
Addicts clean for a least a short while.

 

[GT40]

@FuzzX what happened to your brother. Did he get his **** together. ??

 

[FuzzX]

@FuzzX what happened to your brother. Did he get his **** together. ??

He died 2 months ago. 33 years old.

 

[Max Baker]

I was a dope smoker for 20 years. I pretty much smoked daily and it controlled my life. On weekends i smoked from the moment i woke up and went to bed. I must've been an ugly person to be around sometimes and i don't know how i managed two LTR's, keeping a job and paying off my house during that time.

The key as others have said is that he has to want to stop and make changes. That's what i did. I finally quit over a year ago now and went cold turkey. I did it on my own without treatment or help. It was like a switch went off in my brain and said enough is enough. I don't even think about doing it anymore and looking back i don't know how i actually managed to quit.

My mind has cleared, i can think better, react better and im finding myself again. Hopefully your friend can do the same thing sooner rather than later. But he has to want to.