"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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PLEASE help me. Read and respond if you have any suggestions.

thewarrior

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I'm tired of being alone. I would love to date multiple girls and have multiple **** buddies but I really just want a girlfriend. I never had a girlfriend and want to experience being in a relationship. I'm HAPPY with every other part of my life but being loved and loving someone is missing.

My job doesn't put me in contact with women that are available or in my age group, and I'm not in school.

I go to malls and other public venues but I don't see many opportunities to chat with a girl long enough for me to get her number. What's the point of chatting with a girl and never seeing her again? I don't have approach anxiety, but I do like to approach in situations where I have a chance at being successful. For example, I won't approach a girl who's walking fast and on the phone.

I'm looking for tips on approaching women during the day.

And I'm also looking for tips on clubs and/or bars. I drink but not very much. Everytime I picture a club, I imagine a long line and the bouncer blocking you from entering. All my club knowledge comes from movies and the very idea frightens me.

How should I dress?
How much does it cost just to enter the club?
When's the best time to go?
How close should I dance to girls on the dance floor?

Stuff like that.

Like I said, I don't have approach anxiety and I'm pretty good at keeping a conversation flowing. I just have a hard time deciding if a girl during the day is approachable and I'm clueless about clubs.

Thanks!
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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pLaYtHiNg

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Well, I have a few questions for you, because what kind of girl you're looking for depends heavily on where you might find her. For instance if you want a girl that takes care of herself, going to parks, jogging trails, gyms, etc. would be good places to look. If you want an animal lover/veg-head types, (like me) dog parks, stables and maybe zoos would be a good place to work.

If you want a party girl, the best place is to look in the bar. So, really, what kind of girl are you looking for? Also, the internet is a great resource, and I don't mean dating sites, but to look for places to meet women. Personally I met the man I love in a dog park. Now I'm trying to figure out how to get beyond friendship and into a relationship. (That's pretty much why I'm here, because I think men would have more tangible advice to offer me).

Good luck in your quest!

 

Mavrick

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This is some sappy sh!t right here. "love and be loved"? Is that an actual need for you?

Here's what you should do. Stop asking these questions on a damn forum about how to dress, cover charges to clubs, and all that crap. Just go out, grab a bar stool, and observe. You don't have to observe forever, but watch the guys that are successful and have a lot of friends. Watch how those guys acts, look at how they're dressed, and maybe even get to know some successful guys. Always find guys that are better than you because if you find guys worse off than you, they'll only bring you down to their level. You have to get out there and do it. That's the only way to actually learn. You can come here and read some great sh!t, and I encourage you to, but none of it will really make sense until you're out there and applying it in actual situations.
 

thewarrior

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Mavrick said:
This is some sappy sh!t right here. "love and be loved"? Is that an actual need for you?

Here's what you should do. Stop asking these questions on a damn forum about how to dress, cover charges to clubs, and all that crap. Just go out, grab a bar stool, and observe. You don't have to observe forever, but watch the guys that are successful and have a lot of friends. Watch how those guys acts, look at how they're dressed, and maybe even get to know some successful guys. Always find guys that are better than you because if you find guys worse off than you, they'll only bring you down to their level. You have to get out there and do it. That's the only way to actually learn. You can come here and read some great sh!t, and I encourage you to, but none of it will really make sense until you're out there and applying it in actual situations.
These forums are only good for older posts. It seems like most of my threads are ignored. I'm thinking about doing what you said, observe and learn.
 

thewarrior

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pLaYtHiNg said:
Well, I have a few questions for you, because what kind of girl you're looking for depends heavily on where you might find her. For instance if you want a girl that takes care of herself, going to parks, jogging trails, gyms, etc. would be good places to look. If you want an animal lover/veg-head types, (like me) dog parks, stables and maybe zoos would be a good place to work.

If you want a party girl, the best place is to look in the bar. So, really, what kind of girl are you looking for? Also, the internet is a great resource, and I don't mean dating sites, but to look for places to meet women. Personally I met the man I love in a dog park. Now I'm trying to figure out how to get beyond friendship and into a relationship. (That's pretty much why I'm here, because I think men would have more tangible advice to offer me).

Good luck in your quest!


I would like a girl that takes care of herself, but also like to party (sometimes). I think Craigslist is a good place, I can look up volunteer work and stuff like that.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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I.A.F.Y.B.

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A girlfriend can bring joy and pain. I'm more of a LTR guy and I know how it is. If you wanna know what its like just go out and experience it.
 
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I think what mavrick said is good advice. The best way to learn how to swim is to jump in the pond. That is the quickest and most effective way for you to adapt to your environment. 99% of the posts on this website are garbage, they cant offer the type of help that experience can. You just need the right attitude, and to be honest I think yours is a little out of whack. In my experience, the best way to have fun while your out is have, as one of my friends put it; "motivation without expectation". dont put too much emphasis on the end result, because you will never know how it might end with a girl. Just go out there and have an awesome time, dance how you want to dance and with the girls you want to do it with. don't let *****es get in the way of your fun and people will notice that and be attracted by it. thinking about relationships when you first meet a girl will scare her off.
 
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