"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Please Help Me I Need Advice

blink15_107

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I have been having drunken hook ups with this one girl for about a month now and I only hang out with her a little outside of parties. Last time I was making out with her and she stopped and said "I hope you don't think of me as your drunken hook up buddy because I actually like you. Do you like me?" I told her I did, who wouldn't in that situation. She sent me several texts later that night telling me she really did like me and she wasn't saying that because she had been drinking. My first question is should I start calling her more often, other than just on weekends, if I do in fact like her? I am having trouble answering this for myself because she never really makes any effort to call or text me other than when we party together, so I am unsure if she really does like me or if she was saying that because she doesn't want to feel like a slut. Also I have asked her to go out on a date a few times now and she has been busy both times, but the last time I asked she said she did really want to go but couldn't.

Also, I ended up hooking up with another girl the night after I said I liked her too. So my second question is how is she most likely to respond if she finds out (which is very likely because one of her friends saw me)? I am not sure if this would matter but, when I was hooking up with this other girl is how I found out I do like the original girl back because I was thinking of her the whole time and was immediately worried she could find out and not take it well.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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pimpinISeasy

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are you sure she didn't already find out? maybe thats why shes been acting strange but doesnt want to bring it up and come off as jealous ?
 

blink15_107

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I am pretty sure she hasnt found out yet. She started acting strange before that happened anyways
 

Analyzeit

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Yeah, I'd say try met up with her more when your not drunk, or in the process of getting drunk, you said you already have a little but just try a little more. There is nothing to lose by doing this really.
But then again, she seemed a bit flakey on the date thing ask her one or two times again if she says busy make sure she is somehow if you can but if she keeps saying no... next

And with the other hook up, i'm going to go with ignore it, If you were drunk when you hooked up with her, just use that excuse, but just ignore it
 

kraytkiller

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Yeah, like Analyzeit said, call her up to go out like 1 or 2 more times, and if she is too busy for that forget about it. If she can't make the time to be with you she must not like you as much as she thinks.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Kevin Feng

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No need to tell her about the other girl. You guys aren't dating anyway, and that isn't really her business in anycase.

Perhaps she really was busy, but from what it sounds like, chances are she really just doesn't like to be perceived as a slut.

It doesn't really sound like you're THAT into her anyway, and if that's the case, just pull the trigger next time you're out partying with her. You'll get tipsy and so will she and things will just "happen".

Just make sure you pull the trigger, the worst experience is knowing you could have done something and then all of a sudden, she's off with a new guy or she becomes disinterested.

-Kevin
 
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