Platonic "friends" of opposite sex

[TheProspect]

What you’re experiencing is rare. Quite rare. If male/female platonic relationships were so successful we’d see more of them and they wouldn’t have this stigma around them. The “friendzone” wouldn’t be such a popular term.

You'll have to define what a successful male/female platonic relationship is, because it's subjective to a degree.

"Friendzone" is a popular term because in most cases it involves a guy who wants more from a particular woman, be it a relationship or just sex, and the woman doesn't want to give him neither. A "successful" male/female friendship in this context would indeed be very rare.

The friendships I have referred to in my previous post were either girls I've already slept with in the past, or girls whose friendship I've never considered more than platonic from the beginning for various reasons.

 

[Robert28]

You'll have to define what a successful male/female platonic relationship is, because it's subjective to a degree.

"Friendzone" is a popular term because in most cases it involves a guy who wants more from a particular woman, be it a relationship or just sex, and the woman doesn't want to give him neither. A "successful" male/female friendship in this context would indeed be very rare.

The friendships I have referred to in my previous post were either girls I've already slept with in the past, or girls whose friendship I've never considered more than platonic from the beginning for various reasons.

Anytime I’ve ever been asked for money it was ALWAYS from a woman “friend”. Never when I was dating someone, they seem to have money, it’s always the women that “just wanted to be friends” that were always broke as **** and had some catastrophe every week, month, whatever. You are welcome to friend up all the women you want, take my share. I despise women friends, I’d rather get a damn dog.

 

[BeExcellent]

Agree with what @TheProspect has stated.

If @Robert28 is experiencing this amount of mooching or attempts to take advantage then he isn’t running into quality women. I do NOT ask for money etc. from men. Never have, not even from men I’m involved with. I know lots of women do that...but not all, and you simply say no and don’t ever ask again.

 

[CoandaEffect]

This thread is fascinating to me. I firmly believe that you can have female friends, because I have them. For me it only works if there is no physical desire and you maintain boundaries.

I used to be the kind of guy that would help out my female friends by doing favors for them but I have learnt to setup and keep boundaries. A good friend of mine was having issues with a cupboard door. Just the kind of thing that I would once have just fixed for her. After her asking me for weeks how to fix it she finally realized I was not going to do it for her and she paid to have a handyman come and do it. That’s what I mean by keeping boundaries. Don’t just run to fix something every time they mention it, enforce that boundary.

On the physical desire front, l once had a friend that I developed feelings for. It got very uncomfortable for me and I eventually told her the way I felt. Of course it went no where but to my surprise she still wanted to be friends with me. She carried on like nothing had changed. I just couldn’t take it so I slow faded and we are no longer friends. Funny thing is I ran into her about a year later and she was, shall we say hostile. Like I said, it doesn’t work if there is physical desire and it’s quite possible to develop feeling for someone over a period of time. I had no desire for her when I first met her.

Well that has been my experience but I respect the views of those that have had different experiences. It’s just another example of how we are all different.

 

[Robert28]

Agree with what @TheProspect has stated.

If @Robert28 is experiencing this amount of mooching or attempts to take advantage then he isn’t running into quality women. I do NOT ask for money etc. from men. Never have, not even from men I’m involved with. I know lots of women do that...but not all, and you simply say no and don’t ever ask again.

This isn’t anything against you, but in my experience low quality women are the only ones that want to be just friends or friendzone guys. They learned that behavior in highschool and have never grown out of it and matured enough to say a proper “not interested”. Men are told to say no to bumming women but women should take a look at themselves and ask why they need to depend on others for favors. You can’t simply say no to manipulators who have learned this behavior their whole life. If it was that easy, they wouldn’t be successful manipulators.

 

[Robert28]

This thread is fascinating to me. I firmly believe that you can have female friends, because I have them. For me it only works if there is no physical desire and you maintain boundaries.

I used to be the kind of guy that would help out my female friends by doing favors for them but I have learnt to setup and keep boundaries. A good friend of mine was having issues with a cupboard door. Just the kind of thing that I would once have just fixed for her. After her asking me for weeks how to fix it she finally realized I was not going to do it for her and she paid to have a handyman come and do it. That’s what I mean by keeping boundaries. Don’t just run to fix something every time they mention it, enforce that boundary.

On the physical desire front, l once had a friend that I developed feelings for. It got very uncomfortable for me and I eventually told her the way I felt. Of course it went no where but to my surprise she still wanted to be friends with me. She carried on like nothing had changed. I just couldn’t take it so I slow faded and we are no longer friends. Funny thing is I ran into her about a year later and she was, shall we say hostile. Like I said, it doesn’t work if there is physical desire and it’s quite possible to develop feeling for someone over a period of time. I had no desire for her when I first met her.

Well that has been my experience but I respect the views of those that have had different experiences. It’s just another example of how we are all different.

It’s exhausting constantly keeping boundaries because women have the audacity to think you want to be their personal handyman. I shouldn’t have to tire myself out maintaining boundaries and constantly being tested by some woman trying to work me for favors. It’s much easier to just not be friends with them and then you have no boundaries to constantly maintain.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

So now it’s immature not to want women friends?lol Sorry but when you’ve been used and abused by them in the past, it only makes sense to want to avoid that in the future. I call that growth and recognizing a problem and dealing with it......ie maturity. I will never be shamed into buying into the belief that men and women can or should be friends.

You can be their friend and see them a few times a year.

One things my female "friends" are good for. They are good for networking with females they normally wouldn't like to snoop on me and pass information.

It’s exhausting constantly keeping boundaries because women have the audacity to think you want to be their personal handyman. I shouldn’t have to tire myself out maintaining boundaries and constantly being tested by some woman trying to work me for favors. It’s much easier to just not be friends with them and then you have no boundaries to constantly maintain.

Charge each female who asks

 

[samspade]

I'll also add if you feel platonic friendships with women are universally negative, useless, and serve you no benefit, I respectfully disagree... at least they aren't for me.

My platonic friendships with women have served me well regarding social circle game and even winging in a few cases, not to mention networking for school and job opportunities, among other things.

I may treading dangerous waters with this one, but some even have personalities that are fun to be around.

You're not treading dangerous waters. You're operating from a place of high value and, I assume, being true to yourself.

I think a lot of Sosuavers cling to hard and fast to parroted "rules" to save face. The "no platonic female friends" rule is one of the big ones.

A woman can offer plenty of value to me besides sex. We weren't all meant to fukk every girl we meet, and sex only takes up a tiny fraction of our time on earth, anyway.

Nevertheless if a guy doesn't want girl friends, that's fine, as long as he's operating from his own inner desire and not some ego-driven identity he's trying to maintain. By that same token if a guy is cool with having female friends, the same rule applies: Go forth from a place of abundance, not your need to be a "DJ" or whatever. As long as you don't attach yourself to the identity of "platonic friend."

I do agree that there will always be a sexual dynamic between two heterosexual friends, but so what? I can handle it. Most of game is being able to handle any given situation. The reason female friends sometimes fukk their guy friend" is because they believe the guy can handle it based on previous evidence. (And no, I'm not advising you hold out for sex with a friend.) They will also introduce you to other cute girls...believe me, they won't do this without some idea of your inner game.

 

[Mister_Skinny_Jeanz]

imo, i dont think men and women could be platonic friends.
i also believe that women know this too.