"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Plate wants to be friends on Facebook

Partizan

Don Juan
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OK, fellow DJ's, need some advice on how to handle keeping your privacy in this age of social media.

Plate (for about 2 months) sends me a friend request.. Rather than ignore it completely, I tell her straight up that I would rather not. Plate is not happy. I think I ****ed up.

What would have been the best way to handle it? Accept her friend request and deal with possible repercussions?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Mr Wright

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Are you trying to hide something from her? There are ways around it
 

Icegreen

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Accept. Disregard her judgement and post numerous pics with you and other chicks. If she flips out, treat yourself to a coca cola and fresh puss
 

Partizan

Don Juan
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Not hiding anything yet but trying to prevent future mishaps.
 

j.619

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Plates belong in the dish rack and/or cupboard, not social media. Hell, my last LTR didn't get her friend request accepted. She asked about it, "I forgot my password and don't really get on it anymore." Never heard about it again. They don't need to know any more about your life than you choose to disclose. Being friends on social media is a low-key form of control. Don't give that up.

'Murica:rockon:
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Partizan

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j.619 said:
Plates belong in the dish rack and/or cupboard, not social media. Hell, my last LTR didn't get her friend request accepted. She asked about it, "I forgot my password and don't really get on it anymore." Never heard about it again. They don't need to know any more about your life than you choose to disclose. Being friends on social media is a low-key form of control. Don't give that up.

'Murica:rockon:
I agree completely. Just want to find the best way to handle without hurting her feelings and such.
 

Don-Kong

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Nope just nope. She needs to earn it.
It's weak of her. Maybe she wants to stalk you. **** that!

Just tell her you do not feel comfortable with it and that you should move up a level if she wants privileges. Chicks man, cheek.
 

Partizan

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Don-Kong said:
Nope just nope. She needs to earn it.
It's weak of her. Maybe she wants to stalk you. **** that!

Just tell her you do not feel comfortable with it and that you should move up a level if she wants privileges. Chicks man, cheek.
I'm sure she wants to stalk me. She's pretty into me. And at what point does a plate "earn it"? Just sounds like a bad idea all around.
 

Don-Kong

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All chicks are plates.
When the plate turns into something more then yes, when she earns your trust and you've stopped spinning then yes, but **** that.
When you level up to something more then maybe but casual chicks no way. Dangerous.
 

Ray S

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I'm dealing with this the now. Told her I forgot password then later she seen me post on a friends wall. I told her she wasn't getting added, she got a bit pissed but backed down when she seen I didn't give a ****
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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gravityeyelids

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Haha turn it into a joke and be a **** about it. Say sh!t like "woah woah there missy...being my facebook friend is an extremely exclusive club and you have to earn your membership to it. You must first pass a 100 question written examination as well as achieve at least a 90% score on a practical exam." Just mess with her and dont take it seriously as an issue..because it isnt. Keep your frame: that accepting or rejecting her stupid little friend request is not even worth getting worked up over or arguing about. She dont like it, she can take a hike.

Personally, i dont let myself be tagged in any photos except a few select ones (like 4 or 5) that make me look good. Example: one of me with my closest friends, one of me accepting an award on stage, a few nice shots my roommate took with his DSLR, etc. One of the best things i did was created a new profile and only let myself become tagged in a few select photos. Besides, most people look like pathetic chodes when you creep on their photos from 6 years ago when they were all skinny and pimply and didnt dress well, etc. Become an idea, not a person...for all intents and purposes you exist as the badass dude you have become today and theres no need for the public to see the pathetic person you used to be. Delete that ****. You can leave a select few with girls you hangout with to stimulate a bit of jealousy, but obviously delete the very incriminating ones such as you making out with girls, etc. Keep it classy and "accidental"
 

goldengoose

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If you want to avoid drama and all other forms of bullsh1t, keep these women off your facebook. You don't need them as a "Facebook Friend" when you're fvcking them on the regular. Facebook causes problems and these chicks will give you problems being on there.
 

Partizan

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gravityeyelids said:
Haha turn it into a joke and be a **** about it. Say sh!t like "woah woah there missy...being my facebook friend is an extremely exclusive club and you have to earn your membership to it. You must first pass a 100 question written examination as well as achieve at least a 90% score on a practical exam." Just mess with her and dont take it seriously as an issue..because it isnt. Keep your frame: that accepting or rejecting her stupid little friend request is not even worth getting worked up over or arguing about. She dont like it, she can take a hike.
This is solid advice here. I made the mistake of being too dramatic when I explained to her why I wouldn't accept her request and ended up hurting her feelings.

Then I diffused it completely by joking about it.
 
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