Ive said it time and time again, and so have rascal and others. Its 2014, and women are fvking. If you cant handle that reality, stop hooking up while single and go get a girlfriend. If youre not a man that can be sexually exclusive while doing the FWB thing, dont expect the woman to. Because if shes a woman you dont know well, she can easily lie to you and go get hers elsewhere.
And trust me, many women will if they feel youre not willing to honor your end of the bargain. Ive heard women outright say "if hes going to be getting his, Im going to get mine too". So if you want to screw multiple plates, usually the woman will bail or spin her own plates (sometimes secretively). Its a very rare woman thats sleeping with one man, yet being ok that hes screwing other women.
I see 3 different ways of spinning plates;
1. Agreeing that both parties are allowed to sleep with who they want. If a man is spinning plates this way, hes just getting his sex, and not giving a fvk what the women are doing when hes not around. This man understands that the sex is for fun, and he doesnt stupidly get caught up judging casual hookups with the same standards he judges potential girlfriends.
Thats the problem with many men. Many judge their casual sex options the same way they would a potential girlfriend. Ive learned a while ago that this was a fool's practice. They are there for fun. And if you are trying to have fun, you are not wasting your time thinking about other hypocritical bs.
2. Agreeing to an exclusive FWB arrangement. This is definitely better for those trying to be smart about their health, smart about pregnancy, but still keep their single status. This is what I usually do. I dont have time to worry about a girl screwing some other dude, and I dont want to have to always worry about my health.
Usually a girl and I will agree that we only sleep with each other. And that if we meet someone else we want to pursue, we will let each other know. Sure a chick can lie and still go and smash another dude. But what I have seen is that usually the women who agree to sexual exclusivity, tend to like the guy or end up liking him eventually. And other times the dude falls for the chick first.
This presents its own problem, despite limiting the STD risk. All that said, in my experience, the women who are open to sexual exclusivity are higher quality women than the chicks who are ok sleeping with a man who sleeps around. And sexually exclusive women are loads higher quality than women who actively sleep with multiple men themselves.
3. Spinning plates on the search for a committed relationship. Some people do this, and it usually means going on dates, talking to other men/women, and kissing who you want, but it stops before any sexual contact. Not many people have the will power to not at least sleep with one of their options (as in situation #2 above).
However, this is usually the best way to go about protecting ones health and finding a quality woman.
PrettyBoyAJ said:
I wouldn't. Call me a hypocrite but when two people are sleeping around with other people then it's more of a chance for an STD. A girl who is fun fvcking ain't worth sht anyway. Call it what you want but I like to sleep with multiple women and if I figure she is as well then I'll just cut her off. No harm done.
And thats the thing. The women you sleep with likely are sleeping with other men. Women are not dumb and they can be very perceptive. The type of woman who wants sexual exclusivity generally wont put up with a dude whos sleeping around. Usually the kind of girls who are ok with a man sleeping around, are also sleeping around themselves.
So if youre ok with being a hypocrite, cool. But you already have a great risk of STD by sleeping with multiple women anyways. Its naive to think the risk is so much less just because you want to assume every single one of those women is willfully sleeping only with you. Thats how dudes get caught up. And thats how diseases get spread.