Plate at college, now 3 hour drive away during the summer — what to do?

[CollegeMan22]

I have a plate that I’ve been seeing for the past 2 months at my college, and the sex has been great. Seeing each other 3 times a week, spicy sexual dates, you know the deal. I’ve kept it non-exclusive and not committed to her, but she wants that and pushes for it. The text ratio her to me is like 3-4 to 1, which is great. She was a virgin so I’m her first. She’s into me.

But now it’s summer and she’s back in her hometown which is a 3 hour drive away from me (staying on campus). She basically calls me every night (I literally almost never call, only call back sometimes) and we talk for 20-30 min. Pretty sexual and teasing talk. Lots of laughs.

I’m fine with this if we’re ****ing. But now that I can’t see her multiple times a week, it’s really boring and I don’t like investing in all my humor and time effort while not banging her. She’s going to drive up next weekend for our “anniversary” of me going out with her (women are crazy about anniversaries), but she pushed back on the idea of her driving up every other week to see me. I am going to her hometown for 2 weeks in July for work reasons.

Now I might keep this going if I was gonna be back on my campus for the Fall semester. Problem is that I’m going to be studying abroad in the UK for a full year starting in the fall. So I won’t even be around my college city until May 2024. I have not told her this.

I’m still approaching other girls, but I don’t have another plate yet. Campus is pretty empty over the summer.

So my question is: what do you advise I do? Should I keep talking to her (maybe not every day, maybe every other day) until I leave her hometown in July? I just hate this long distance thing (and she does too), but I kinda want to **** her more cause it’s not too hard. Any constructive advice is appreciated.

 

[SW15]

No matter what you do, it's not going to remain viable with you going off to the UK for a year.

Study abroad, graduations, and job searches have a way of ending romantic relationships formed during college. During the college and/or graduate school years, two people are often dragged in different directions.

Something I wrote in the college sex thread applies here though I wrote it to address slightly different situations.....

One of the things that this thread hasn't talked much about is how final year looming graduations and job searches tend to affect college sex.

Men who are in their senior years of college and not in a serious relationship are best served by keeping things casual. A lot of complicated scenarios can occur in more committed relationships.

If you're a senior year male dating a senior year female, things get interesting. You're both looking for your first post graduation jobs. It's difficult to get both sides to agree to living in the same city after college graduation. Tuition and living fees have been expensive for the past 20-30 years (even for in-state public universities) and there's a need to justify the investment with the first job out of school. If two people have the mindset from the previous sentence, it's unlikely the relationship can survive. Long distance relationships are also a bad idea, especially at 22-23. In this situation, there's a high likelihood that the relationship will end with graduation.

When a senior male has a girlfriend who is a sophomore or junior, it's unlikely that the man will get his first post college job in the same city as the university. If the man does get his first job in that same city, the relationship can continue at least until she graduates or he changes jobs in another city. A lot of universities aren't the best cities for post college employment.

There are also situations where a sophomore or junior year male is dating a senior year female. When the female graduates first, I think it's rare for her to stay in the same city as her boyfriend. I know one situation where a 2nd semester female senior started dating a male who was a junior. She graduated jobless and stayed in the same city as the male for his senior year just to continue the relationship. Most people would have thought she was out of her mind for doing that. She was making a key life decision around a boyfriend of no more than 2-3 months. The relationship lasted multiple years beyond his graduation. I think a situation like I described is more of the exception than the rule.

These same situations happen for men in graduate school dating other graduate school students or graduate students dating undergrads.

The increase in tuition costs and worsening social skills are why college-formed relationships are not lasting as long with Millennials and Gen Z in college as compared to Boomers and Gen Z. Current romantic relationship formed in college started declining around the early 2000s, which was exactly the time that the earliest Millennials were arriving on college campuses.

Observations about college sex life from someone that went to a party school.

TBH, the novelty of football games wore off for me after a couple of games. Everyone went out in large groups and stuck to those groups, especially anyone in Greek Life. Come to find that the hottest sororities on campus seemed to never be at the football games in a lot of cases and were...

www.sosuave.net

 

[CollegeMan22]

No matter what you do, it's not going to remain viable with you going off to the UK for a year.

I realize that, man. I was just looking for advice as to when I should cut it off. Whether that be now, or after July when I’ll be in her city for a few weeks.

 

[SW15]

I realize that, man. I was just looking for advice as to when I should cut it off. Whether that be now, or after July when I’ll be in her city for a few weeks.

I would lean towards the idea of doing it now. It would be mentally healthier for you to spend the next few months focused on no-strings attached sex.