Planning a weekend with a girl

[cruzinV]

So I met this beautiful 21yr old last weekend, we hit it off pretty good and I semi-invited her out for a weekend getaway. I say semi because I texted her Monday saying something like "hey let's hang out fri and Saturday well go clubbing and hit up the beach." She responded " yeah let me know". Weve been texting about random **** today and I plan to formally aske her again tomorrow and make plans. The last time I did this, the girl cancelled last minute, and I lost money cancelling hotels. Needless to say girls are flaky as **** so how do I balance planning a fun weekend and booking hotels etc with the fact that the girl might flake at the last minute?

 

[Tilex]

You're moving too fast.
Weekend getaways and traveling to far off destinations are things you do in relationships.
The more she's into you, the easier it is to plan stuff together. A bond has to form initially through sex in the beginning stages.

A non-invested chick = easy flake
If she hasn't had sex with you yet = easy flake

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Why are you texting her about random stuff? Leave that talk for the date. Set the date, make it cheap, say 'great see you at X at Z oclock' then don't contact her til you're leaving to the date location on the day of the date with something like 'leavin now, might be a few min early/late.'

Let her wonder about what you're up to, don't be so available. Get busy with stuff. Let her initiate contact and come to you. You just focus on your own stuff and be charming and easy going with her. If she doesn't show up so what? You'll have invested very little. A girl will be more intrigued when you attract her effortlessly.

Not sure why you're making a first date for the entire weekend, that seems odd but maybe it's a special situation. If I'm going on a trip and she wants to come fine. Otherwise I'm not planning an entire weekend with a girl I've never been on a date with. I'll plan something for one evening with her and maybe if the date goes well I'll mention my other plans and invite her.

If you're worried about her flaking then why the hell would you lock down hotels and reservations? Women pick up on that insecurity and you worrying about her flaking becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

 

[cruzinV]

You're moving too fast.
Weekend getaways and traveling to far off destinations are things you do in relationships.
The more she's into you, the easier it is to plan stuff together. A bond has to form initially through sex in the beginning stages.

A non-invested chick = easy flake
If she hasn't had sex with you yet = easy flake

Well its not really that far only about a 30 minute drive, but I told her I wanted to hang with her the entire wkend, if she can only do one day then fine. But I still want to be prepared as far as hotels go since they tend to sell out and plan what bars and restaurants to hang out at. I guess I'll gauge her interest tomorrow and then I'll decide to plan stuff out.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

No offense dude that sounds desperate AF.

Don't invite any girl to anywhere for anywhere overnight unless you are 100% positive she'll say yes and you've already spent the night at her place and she's spent the night at your place.

This is a DAVE move to be sure.

Hey, I like you, can I take you on vacation with me?

Creepy and beta AF.

 

[teacha]

Yeah, I can totally see her flaking on you. And to be honest, I wouldn’t blame her, you sound creepy/desperate as hell. Who invites people people for a whole weekend gateaway after only knowing them for a few days? This kind of thing should be reserved for women you are in relationships with. And it should only be used as a reward.

You are doing too much buddy. Way too much.

 

[Desdinova]

The last time I did this, the girl cancelled last minute, and I lost money cancelling hotels.

In other words, you didn't learn from the last time. If you need to blow a bunch of money on a girl that will most likely flake on you, then there's nothing anyone here can say to stop you.

 

[cruzinV]

Well to be fair shes the one who started talking about going somewhere the night we met. She was like " oh we should go to XYZ sometime" and I said yeah let's go next weekend. So I'm pretty much just following up on her lead. But yeah I get it, talk is cheap.

 

[Mike32ct]

Suggesting plans including a hotel is too much for a new chick. Even if she is attracted to you, knowing that you’re gonna spend $$ just to F her will creep her out.

Very significant chance she will get cold feet and flake.

The clubbing part sounds good to her. However, if she hears hotel, I think the wheels may come off.

Take her to the club. You can dance, grind and makeout. Then see how it goes. If it goes extremely well, then casually invite her back to your place (last minute) afterwards. She won’t feel pressured or obligated as with the already-booked hotel scenario. And you won’t get burned for $150+ if she flakes.

 

[Barrister]

Immediately being willing to block off that much time for a woman you just met let's her know immediately you don't have much going on in your life. You are automatically "too available." That is before you even get to the point where like others have said you are essentially soliciting her for a weekend of sex with zero build up. Despite her suggesting going away for the weekend, keep in mind that what women say and what they find attractive are normally not the same thing.

On to the next and take it slowly next time regardless of anything the chick says.

 

[cruzinV]

Suggesting plans including a hotel is too much for a new chick. Even if she is attracted to you, knowing that you’re gonna spend $$ just to F her will creep her out.

Very significant chance she will get cold feet and flake.

The clubbing part sounds good to her. However, if she hears hotel, I think the wheels may come off.

Take her to the club. You can dance, grind and makeout. Then see how it goes. If it goes extremely well, then casually invite her back to your place (last minute) afterwards. She won’t feel pressured or obligated as with the already-booked hotel scenario. And you won’t get burned for $150+ if she flakes.

I never mentioned her staying at my hotel, I just plan to get one just in case since I live with roomates and cant really bring girls home.

But damn, I've also been thinking about her all week and daydreaming about hanging out with her, I know that is beta af but I cant help it. Need to stop doing that.

 

[Robert28]

Well to be fair shes the one who started talking about going somewhere the night we met. She was like " oh we should go to XYZ sometime" and I said yeah let's go next weekend. So I'm pretty much just following up on her lead. But yeah I get it, talk is cheap.

You totally messed up your reply to that. All you had to say was “yeah maybe oneday IF you’re lucky” in a smirky type of way. She threw it down the middle of the plate and you didn’t even get the bat off your shoulder.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Well to be fair shes the one who started talking about going somewhere the night we met. She was like " oh we should go to XYZ sometime" and I said yeah let's go next weekend. So I'm pretty much just following up on her lead. But yeah I get it, talk is cheap.

"Sometime", "possibly", "maybe", "ill see" are all expressions used by attention wh0res. Her job is to absorb your interest. If she dont like coming to your place to fvck you have nothing. A girl into you doesnt put you in a cheap seat.

 

[The Duke]

Well to be fair shes the one who started talking about going somewhere the night we met. She was like " oh we should go to XYZ sometime" and I said yeah let's go next weekend.

Girls say all sorts of things. They are emotional and not always rational creatures. Thats why its your job to lead and not be at their mercy. Never book reservations you can't undo for free when making plans with a woman. Especially before the 1 year mark.

This girl doesn't know you well enough yet. As much as a weekend with you may sound fun to her, she needs to connect with you on a deeper level before she feels secure enough to spend a significant amount of time with you.

You also should never give away large pieces of your time so early with a girl that hasn't even earned it yet. Make them earn it, they prefer it that way. Always remain a challenge, you are making this way too easy. You have her on the fast track to a serious relationship. Believe me, she wants to earn it and its better for you if she does.

Easy come, easy go.

 

[Robert28]

Sometime, possibly, maybe, ill see are all expressions used by attention *****s. Her job is to absorb your interest. If she dont like coming to your place to fvck you have nothing. A girl into you doesnt put you in a cheap seat.

This. It’s so hard to believe how many men out there honestly don’t believe that a woman has no problem wasting your time. Then hanging out with you and doing stuff (even if it’s on a regular basis!) is wasting your time if you aren’t getting what you want. They really do feed off attention more than guys have a clue about. I’ve learned this the hard way so I speak from experience. I once went on “dates” with a girl for 7 months. 7 months! Got absolutely nothing passed 1st base. Ever. And I tried, God did I try. She even had me believing her excuses “sorry I just have a really low sex drive. Sorry I don’t hold eye contact because I feel vulnerable. Sorry I’m just not the touchy feely type.” I bought into ALL of it. Why? Because she kept asking to hangout and she’d never use the word friends, she’d act like we were dating, she’d invite ME on trips. I’m telling you we did all the relationship stuff you could imagine but never anything past kissing. Looking back after all those years I feel sooo stupid that she wasted so much of my time and that I bought all her excuses, but I did learn from it. 3 dates, no sex no Robert anymore. It’s a hard line but it’s effective at weeding out the time wasters.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

This. It’s so hard to believe how many men out there honestly don’t believe that a woman has no problem wasting your time. Then hanging out with you and doing stuff (even if it’s on a regular basis!) is wasting your time if you aren’t getting what you want. They really do feed off attention more than guys have a clue about. I’ve learned this the hard way so I speak from experience. I once went on “dates” with a girl for 7 months. 7 months! Got absolutely nothing passed 1st base. Ever. And I tried, God did I try. She even had me believing her excuses “sorry I just have a really low sex drive. Sorry I don’t hold eye contact because I feel vulnerable. Sorry I’m just not the touchy feely type.” I bought into ALL of it. Why? Because she kept asking to hangout and she’d never use the word friends, she’d act like we were dating, she’d invite ME on trips. I’m telling you we did all the relationship stuff you could imagine but never anything past kissing. Looking back after all those years I feel sooo stupid that she wasted so much of my time and that I bought all her excuses, but I did learn from it. 3 dates, no sex no Robert anymore. It’s a hard line but it’s effective at weeding out the time wasters.

Why do they waste our time? It puts a man in a follower, helper, subservient role. Effectively having her manage us.

 

[Robert28]

Why do they waste our time? It puts a man in a follower, helper, subservient role. Effectively having her manage us.

Some women are so good at it that you won’t recognize that’s what she’s doing for awhile.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Some women are so good at it that you won’t recognize that’s what she’s doing for awhile.

Shes the boss lol. Its many of their main priority. I tried to use terms to make it super clear whats going on. No puzzy is gonna get wet for one she manages unless you are one hell of a physical specimen. Game is important because it manipulates INTEREST. Which causes and raises DESIRE.

 

[Trump]

But damn, I've also been thinking about her all week and daydreaming about hanging out with her, I know that is beta af but I cant help it.

Sure you can.

Go find a hotter and younger girl and ask her out.

 

[cruzinV]

Sure you can.

Go find a hotter and younger girl and ask her out.

Oh give me a fvcking break dude, why is everyone on here speaking like they are some alpha male A-list super star lol. I am a recovering incel, that fake confidence and abundance mentality ain't gonna fly.