"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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phone tag?

Cloudtopsun2100

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Been dating this girl weekly for 3 weeks now- the dates have been going great- she invited me out to have lunch with her and her parents one day after our third date- I say I can't- really I can't since I was busy then she sounded disapointed so I asked her if she was mad and she was like no - so I tell her to call me back later on since I might have time then but my cellphone goes dead about 20 minutes later and my charger was over at a friends(phone was dead a total of 4 hours)- anyways I felt bad like she'd think I was being super shady or whatever so that night while I was at a houseparty I stepped out to call this other breezy on the phone and decided that I should give the girl Im dating a call just to say hi- so I call no answer and leave a message- it wasn't some drunk off my ass message just a light- hey *HB9* how you doing Im at a party now just wanted to see how you doin- ok (i might have said call me) dont remember then hung up- you'd think she'd have called me back by now i mean all cells have caller id and ****- what might she be doing and what should I do?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Patrick124

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I've learned, they never call if you tell them to.
ever.
And don't leave messages, it makes you more mysterious if you don't let ehr know why u caleld.
and mentionin u were at a party also was a minor mistake, she now knows ur thinking about her even when you're chillin with your boys. But then if she knows u drink, she might be able to explain this with you jsut being horny :p
god dman the phone is the work of the devil when it comes ot girls. The only good thign about it is setting up dates..but the phone itself is a whoel nother platform to get used to when DJing lol
 

Cloudtopsun2100

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crap. anyone know how I can get out of this dilemma? ignore for few days and not call till tuesday? not answer when she does call back? of all the girls in the holding pattern why couldn't I have called one of the HB6's or something.........
 

Patrick124

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ahha nah i todl i u that pm u didn't fawk up much, i just went into detail^ so u understood the reasoning behind what i was saying.
follow the advice i said in the pm n i think you'll be golden. peace
 

Cloudtopsun2100

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need to get her off my mind- not gonna go out cause I haven't recovered from the weekend yet but she left stuff at my place and there is no way I can keep myself from seeing it whenever i go in the kitchen...ahhhhhhh
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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the_bends

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It sounds to me, that she is wanting more from the relationship than you are. I think she's viewing it differently. She asks you to eat with her and her parents. I take that to mean that she's wanting you to eventually be exclusive. I think that by being unavailable for that long, declining the dinner invitation, and calling drunk from a party, you damaged her opinion of you. You need to evaluate what you want from her? Are you just trying to play the field still, or could you replicate her feelings? You need to talk to her face-to-face.
 

Cloudtopsun2100

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I suppose I'd better call her up soon then...she's japanese- I heard you have to be a little more AFC sometimes to deal with asian girls? I'm half chinese so I understand that- of course if next time I call her and she doesn't answer I shouldn't leave a message and make myself scarce huh? I think turning down the lunch invite did hurt me- now I gotta be a bit more AFC this week:( she's never not returned my call before
 

jakeyboy

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i think you're getting oneitis for the girl. happened to me before. i panicked because a girl didnt call me back. in my afc days, pretty painful.

i however would suggest you not call her. if she calls back, you know she's got a good IL in you, if not then NEXXXXXXXT her.
 

Jerky Boi

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Originally posted by Cloudtopsun2100
I suppose I'd better call her up soon then...she's japanese- I heard you have to be a little more AFC sometimes to deal with asian girls? I'm half chinese so I understand that- of course if next time I call her and she doesn't answer I shouldn't leave a message and make myself scarce huh? I think turning down the lunch invite did hurt me- now I gotta be a bit more AFC this week:( she's never not returned my call before

I hear people say this all the time. Do I need to be more AFC..should I use my "DJ" skills?..guys it's as simple as this. When you truly find that burning desire to rid your life of your worries with women and to get out of that every woman is heaven on earth mode, then and only then can you become a Don Juan. Going back and forth isn't possible. You're questioning everything too much.

In my experiences, when a girl doesn't call you, it can be a number of different things. Don't take it personally or worry about it. You're only going to hurt yourself. BTW, calling from the party to say whats up wasn't really kool. (You say you weren't drunk, but if you can't remember some of the things you said, there's a good possibility you were.) Anyway, I'm not trying to rag on you or anything, but just take it easy. Wait for her to call, and make up that dinner date she had planned like you wanted to. No one likes a bad game of phone tag. It gets old. You're the man. End the games, and go for what you want.

But again, I agree with the bends. She seems like she's wanting more out of the relationship than you are. Although, I really don't know your situation, I suggest you wait for her to call, if not, call her and tell her you want to make up the date.
 

Cloudtopsun2100

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I'm ending this speculation... I just called her back got the Voicemail (either her phones off or she on it) and just f'ing hung up. Balls in her court- she can call back or not her games piss me off and I'm gonna next her if she doesnt call me. Switching gears to that HB8 I had on the back burner.....
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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jakeyboy

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now thats the attitude ya need! right on mate.

if she doesnt call back, tis her loss, not yours anyway right?
 
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