You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Thank you . Thats how I came to philosophy. I read two books about stoicism and later came across Seneca, which I had a lot of thoughts reading or listening.I personally find Stoicism very useful and insightful for every day life. Check out Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and Letters From A Stoic by Seneca to start out.
I also find Buddhism and Taoism and easter philosophy in general very interesting and you could argue they touch upon human nature more deeply than anything else, although it requires a massive paradigm shift to understand what they talk about.
Lastly, there's also Existentialism as well, and this is almost entirely about human nature. Nietzsche, Kierkegaard, and Satre might be good places to start. I don't know much about it but it's a subject I intend to explore more.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I try to look into this weekend. Since I am new to philosophy I think I have some years to catch.If you are looking for improving your effectiveness in thinking I recommend reading Objectivist epistemology. A good place to start is with Leonard Peikoff's lectures "The Art of Thinking."
Thank you for your recommendation, but I am not searching for this specific themes.![]()
Recommended Reading: Alek's 2021 List
Alek’s recommended reading list. Included: books on philosophy and meaning, and a trove of tomes on sex, romance, and romantic relationships. Hey everyone! I hope you’re all doing well. Today I would like to share my reading list. Chase (part 1 | part 2) and Tony Depp (here) have done so in the...www.girlschase.com