Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Persistence or next?

NSX-R

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2014
Messages
1,222
Reaction score
818
Location
The land of improvement
I believe that’s a question many of us make when they meet a female .

The most common advice around here is if a female acts hard then we should next her as fast as possible .
But sometimes the easiest woman doesn’t mean it’s the best one and for the long run might be the worst option.

What do you guys think and what’s your experience whatsoever?
 

Scars

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 20, 2007
Messages
2,158
Reaction score
1,019
Age
34
Location
Phoenix
I think it's situational and a lot of different variables are involved.

I've broken a ton of DJ rules in my earlier days and was still able to get women. Rather than taking the knowledge as a concrete set of rules, they should be used as a "guideline", IMO.

Indeed, some girls require a little more persistence, but I think there definitely is a line crossed when it starts to become pathetic. There's a huge difference between a women who is career focused and generally busy with life, and a women who is ghosting your calls and playing you like a chump. It's ultimately up to you to decide what you want to do and what the circumstances are. If I get the feeling even for a second a women is playing me, then it's next for sure. I've given girls "second chances" before though, and sometimes it's worked out, sometimes it hasn't. I think deep down every man knows though. It's a gut feeling we all get. If things don't seem to be adding up, then they probably aren't, and it's time to eject.
 

Lynx nkaf

Banned
Joined
Nov 17, 2019
Messages
1,890
Reaction score
1,234
I think it's situational and a lot of different variables are involved.

I've broken a ton of DJ rules in my earlier days and was still able to get women. Rather than taking the knowledge as a concrete set of rules, they should be used as a "guideline", IMO.

Indeed, some girls require a little more persistence, but I think there definitely is a line crossed when it starts to become pathetic. There's a huge difference between a women who is career focused and generally busy with life, and a women who is ghosting your calls and playing you like a chump. It's ultimately up to you to decide what you want to do and what the circumstances are. If I get the feeling even for a second a women is playing me, then it's next for sure. I've given girls "second chances" before though, and sometimes it's worked out, sometimes it hasn't. I think deep down every man knows though. It's a gut feeling we all get. If things don't seem to be adding up, then they probably aren't, and it's time to eject.
sometimes all you get is a one second feeling....that's why I always doubted it was a true red flag
 

samspade

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2008
Messages
7,996
Reaction score
5,054
I never close the door on a woman unless I think it's best for me.

She could send zero signals or even reject me for now. So I put her on the back burner and try a different tack later if I feel like it. She's always just an option, no more no less. I've had women reject me and later hunt me down.

Obviously I meet/sex other women in the meantime and don't indulge in Hollywood/Disney "persistence."
 

Alvafe

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 26, 2012
Messages
3,371
Reaction score
1,567
Age
40
I never close the door on a woman unless I think it's best for me.

She could send zero signals or even reject me for now. So I put her on the back burner and try a different tack later if I feel like it. She's always just an option, no more no less. I've had women reject me and later hunt me down.

Obviously I meet/sex other women in the meantime and don't indulge in Hollywood/Disney "persistence."
its like I said before, you can ask the same girl out several times even after she said no, as long she is not the only one, the thing is you should eventually forget her because you will have a long list of new things todo, if you are doing everything right, you will not care, or even question if what youa re doing is right or wrong, you will always be doing what is good for you

at the same time, notice sometimes its better see if is just not a something I can't have, now I want it
 

Georgepithyou

Banned
Joined
Jan 17, 2020
Messages
1,799
Reaction score
2,225
Age
27
Location
Sydney
Depends on what you want, do you want a long term relationship or a one night stand
 
Joined
Mar 7, 2018
Messages
129
Reaction score
135
I believe that’s a question many of us make when they meet a female .

The most common advice around here is if a female acts hard then we should next her as fast as possible .
But sometimes the easiest woman doesn’t mean it’s the best one and for the long run might be the worst option.

What do you guys think and what’s your experience whatsoever?
Next. If she's going to **** you she'll chase you. If she was just wasting your time less of your time got wasted.
 

lamath

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2018
Messages
2,745
Reaction score
2,676
Age
42
Location
Canada
Things need to go foward with the women if not NEXT !!
Mostly mean she likes the attention, looking at other options or playing game.

We want none of those.
Too much to lose most of the time or on the long run because its mostly a indication of low interest or manipulation even if we end up ****ing her
 

jaymbrs

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 27, 2017
Messages
1,994
Reaction score
1,995
Age
37
Guys on here think any girl worth laying/dating are the ones who make it easy on you. Unfortunately for a lot of guys that will not be the case and those who use the Brad Pitt example are clueless themselves as it is not apples to apples. I aim upwards so I don't expect a woman to make it easy for me. In fact if she did, there's probably something wrong with her. But there is a point when putting in too much work does become an issue. You just have to know when to stop. And honestly I find the guys asking the OPs question is not wrong and should probably be encouraged in order to remain calibrated with other DJs.
 

Suave88

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 23, 2019
Messages
715
Reaction score
274
Age
44
I believe that’s a question many of us make when they meet a female .

The most common advice around here is if a female acts hard then we should next her as fast as possible .
But sometimes the easiest woman doesn’t mean it’s the best one and for the long run might be the worst option.

What do you guys think and what’s your experience whatsoever?
Hello OP,
Is this some girl who demostrate interest in you or you approached her??? Is she single or taken? If she is making it hard nd she never showed interest in you, just next her. But if she demostrate interest in you and now is slaking, I put her on the back burner and next her. Don't ever close your door to a woman because some people lock themselves behind open doors. Also, don't chase either it is a manipulation tactic. I just go and see other prospects.
 

skinnyguy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 2, 2013
Messages
3,454
Reaction score
1,258
It depends on what her intentions are. Is she just a little hard to get or is she actively blue balling you? I won't pursue unless I see some clear IOI's. If you pursue/chase too much, she will just use you for validation and treat you like all her other orbiters. If you're not careful you will end up deep in the friend zone and she won't respect you. These days, women respect the guys who have women falling all over them. They perceive "chasing" as an indictor that the guy might be low SMV. Everything is perception.
 

NSX-R

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2014
Messages
1,222
Reaction score
818
Location
The land of improvement
Guys on here think any girl worth laying/dating are the ones who make it easy on you. Unfortunately for a lot of guys that will not be the case and those who use the Brad Pitt example are clueless themselves as it is not apples to apples. I aim upwards so I don't expect a woman to make it easy for me. In fact if she did, there's probably something wrong with her. But there is a point when putting in too much work does become an issue. You just have to know when to stop. And honestly I find the guys asking the OPs question is not wrong and should probably be encouraged in order to remain calibrated with other DJs.
Here’s few examples.

I woman being polite on you but having no sexual interest is one example .

A woman who’s ignoring you but she’s fully into you without showing it to examine your persistence.

A woman who’s talkative with you , fully into you but won’t let you bang her after many dates.

A woman who’s too easy on you .


To persist or to next?
Off course I’m not including women with disrespectful behavior cause that’s an immediate red card .
Hello OP,
Is this some girl who demostrate interest in you or you approached her??? Is she single or taken? If she is making it hard nd she never showed interest in you, just next her. But if she demostrate interest in you and now is slaking, I put her on the back burner and next her. Don't ever close your door to a woman because some people lock themselves behind open doors. Also, don't chase either it is a manipulation tactic. I just go and see other prospects.
The question is not for me specifically or I’m not looking for an answer to a current problem . It’s just a question worth mentioning since that’s what most people struggle with and i wanted to discuss it with the board .
 

samspade

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2008
Messages
7,996
Reaction score
5,054
Guys on here think any girl worth laying/dating are the ones who make it easy on you. Unfortunately for a lot of guys that will not be the case and those who use the Brad Pitt example are clueless themselves as it is not apples to apples. I aim upwards so I don't expect a woman to make it easy for me. In fact if she did, there's probably something wrong with her. But there is a point when putting in too much work does become an issue. You just have to know when to stop. And honestly I find the guys asking the OPs question is not wrong and should probably be encouraged in order to remain calibrated with other DJs.
Agreed. The rule about only dealing with "high interest" women is for beginners so they can avoid oneitis and blue pill tactics. I've found that as a high value guy, some worthwhile women are less likely to show "interest." I don't see the point in limiting myself to one subset of women. Overt high interest is cool, but I just assume high interest until she says no. The more value she sees in me, the more likely she will doubt herself.
 
Joined
Mar 7, 2018
Messages
129
Reaction score
135
Guys on here think any girl worth laying/dating are the ones who make it easy on you. Unfortunately for a lot of guys that will not be the case and those who use the Brad Pitt example are clueless themselves as it is not apples to apples. I aim upwards so I don't expect a woman to make it easy for me. In fact if she did, there's probably something wrong with her. But there is a point when putting in too much work does become an issue. You just have to know when to stop. And honestly I find the guys asking the OPs question is not wrong and should probably be encouraged in order to remain calibrated with other DJs.
It's all about your mindset, which is reflected in your body language. Women respond to it. The reason that higher quality women are easier to deal with is because they are less insecure. They aren't as manipulative because they don't feel like they need to be. Therefore they can be more up front about what they want.

With men being high quality is more a matter of mindset than of physical traits. Unlike with women...
 
Joined
Mar 7, 2018
Messages
129
Reaction score
135
Agreed. The rule about only dealing with "high interest" women is for beginners so they can avoid oneitis and blue pill tactics. I've found that as a high value guy, some worthwhile women are less likely to show "interest." I don't see the point in limiting myself to one subset of women. Overt high interest is cool, but I just assume high interest until she says no. The more value she sees in me, the more likely she will doubt herself.
I guess, if you want to turn chasing women into a second job. Some dudes have jobs, hobbies, friends and lives outside of women. If you have a life, you don't have time to screw around. You want ***** you get it as effortlessly as possible.
 

samspade

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2008
Messages
7,996
Reaction score
5,054
I guess, if you want to turn chasing women into a second job. Some dudes have jobs, hobbies, friends and lives outside of women. If you have a life, you don't have time to screw around. You want ***** you get it as effortlessly as possible.
I have a job, hobbies, friends, and a life outside of women, plus the women I want. How I attract women takes very little investment. But I don't limit myself to the ones that come along "effortlessly." If you're turning it into a second job, you're doing it wrong. (Edit, not YOU you, just in general. Everyone finds something that works for them.)
 
Last edited:

NSX-R

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2014
Messages
1,222
Reaction score
818
Location
The land of improvement
I guess, if you want to turn chasing women into a second job. Some dudes have jobs, hobbies, friends and lives outside of women. If you have a life, you don't have time to screw around. You want ***** you get it as effortlessly as possible.
Persistence means even being in contact once every 2-3 weeks . What you mean is chasing all the time . It’s different . Maybe that’s how a high quality woman is going to respect you . I’m sure there are few there . For me i wouldn’t marry and have an ltr with a woman that i banged minutes after i met her.

I’ll agree with what @samspade said . As long as she hasn’t said No , it’s still game on . There are many women out there showing IOI covertly and even the experienced don’t get it . But still this doesn’t mean that you should only be after a certain woman exclusively. Have options and see which option is worth been after .
 

Robert28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
5,122
Reaction score
5,438
This is where the 3 date rule comes into play. She can play hard to get all she wants but if we aren’t having sex by date 3, I’m gone. Forever.
 
Top