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If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

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paying for a girl...

Deadly_Ripped

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Robyn923b said:
Think of a date as an interview for the most important position in your life. You are the CEO of the company. Would you spend money on a newbie who hasn't been working in your company for a day? Are you going to PAY her more because she's good-looking? SCREW THAT.
This analogy implies that I'm paying for a service, that it's on the basis of the girl's looks, and that they're total strangers - something that's just not true.

As I originally said, and as HoneyLove said at the end of her post, paying for small things like a couple of drinks or late night diner food doesn't break the bank, but it sure does eliminate that whole awkward conversation about splitting the bill and lets the night roll smoothly.

I also use it as a shti test. If she protests and I believe her, then she passes the test. If she doesn't even gesture to pay or put up a single offer to at least cover her half, then she fails. I use this as a MAJOR read of her character. I am not interested in dating women who EXPECT me to pay their way, so it's an easy window into her stance without outright asking.
 

Masculinity

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Deadly_Ripped said:
This analogy implies that I'm paying for a service, that it's on the basis of the girl's looks, and that they're total strangers - something that's just not true.

As I originally said, and as HoneyLove said at the end of her post, paying for small things like a couple of drinks or late night diner food doesn't break the bank, but it sure does eliminate that whole awkward conversation about splitting the bill and lets the night roll smoothly.

I also use it as a shti test. If she protests and I believe her, then she passes the test. If she doesn't even gesture to pay or put up a single offer to at least cover her half, then she fails. I use this as a MAJOR read of her character. I am not interested in dating women who EXPECT me to pay their way, so it's an easy window into her stance without outright asking.
This is my opinion. We are all entitled to our own opinion and many will disagree in the answers here.
 

.Paradox.

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HoneyLove said:
Yes if you want to be successful with women you are going to have to pay. Period. If you talk about going dutch shes going to think your cheap and put you in the friendzone. Dont spend a small fortune on her, but a drink or two at Applebees should suffice.
Just going dutch won't get you friend-zoned..
 

The_411

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It's not about paying but rather determining how the girl acts. I've gotten pretty good about figuring out if a girl is a taker or not.

The rule of thumb is never to ask but rather either work the conversation where you can get an idea of how she would act in similar moral situation and/or never pulling out your wallet too quickly. (This allows her the time to say something)

A girl worth dating will always at least make an offer to pay and will never assume you will get the bill.

I know people will suggest that this is too AFCish but I'm talking purely about quality LTR candidates.

It's also a good test to determine if for some reason you can't tell if a girl is LTR material.

When a girl expects/assumes you'll front the bill then she already controls the relationship.
 

Jblitz59

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I say, split even on the 1st date is minimum! I like to set an example that I can support myself. If you're an *******: save your money and go ahead be a broke @ss on the 1st date.

Hell, more ***** for the rest of us wise men to pick up your rebounding normal females
(After 1st date though it doesn't matter as much)
 

thevilittletroll

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there's a big difference between paying on a first date and being labeled as cheap. the best way to avoid this is to do something cheap on a first date. get away from taking girls out to dinner at expensive restraunts. thats been field tested and doesnt work for you anyway. cook for them at your house instead. take them for coffee at starbucks. you'll be out an extra $5. have them go shopping with you to help pick out a cool shirt. there's lots of cool and fun dates you can do that require little or no money. even if you do pay, she knows it didnt cost you much anyway, no big deal.

i have a rule that i wont take a girl to a restraunt until i've at least slept with her first.
 

BlackMack177

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I won't spend anymore than $20 on a girl I am not in a relationship with.

There is no reason to even worry about this. Most of you guys are doing waaay to much for these girls who are just seeing. Why not just invite them over to the crib and cook dinner and watch a movie or something? Why not just go walking to the park and bring some picnic food? Why not just go to the mall? Go to a coffee shop?

you don't have to save your weekly pay checks to take a girl out. Come out your mouth before you come out your wallet? If a girl is expecting you to spend all your money on her then ditch her


And don't listen to Honeylove's dumb ass. You won't get friend zoned by going dutch. Any girl who thinks like her isn't worth your time because they only want a free meal
 

corrector

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Whoever initiates the date should pay for it. If the woman asks you out, she should pay for it 100%. If you ask the woman out, and you don't say upfront it's 'dutch', then you should pay for her -- but you can choose a venue that is cheap so that it doesn't bite your wallet.
 
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