Patch up with gf, only to find she has someone during the interim

[misoup]

My real brother has this problem this morning.

He was together with his gf for 3years and they broke up 2months ago due to my brother's fault (non cheating related). They were in a 200miles long distance relationship.

They remained broke up for a month and got back a month ago.

During the interim of broke up, they remained in contact. Still having "I love u" talks but she advises my brother to date new people although she "still loves him" my brother is quite cool about it however he didn't date anyone new as he was busy.

So they patched up after sitting down and discuss and now as I can see, they are all good and really close like honeymooners. She moved to stay closer to my brother. All is good

Until this morning.. My brother found out from her phone accidentally that during the interim of break up. She has many photos of his gf with a new guy. Close and intimate photos (except naked). Kissing photos too

My brother was devastated and confronted her calmly. She denied being together with this guy and he is just a "friend" and they are no longer in contact. She is defensive while saying all these. And my brother caught her lying about several details although he has no right to probe into her during the break up period.
My brother and her are in talks, but in a mature way.

So the main question is... Is it considered cheating when his gf has another guy during the interim of break up?? Note that my brother was in contact with her during the break up period.. Which I think she is also stringing both along..

What should he do

 

[n52]

I'll be willing to bet she was with him before the break up... Kissing just as friends? Come on man look at the bigger picture. Long distance should be a no no anyway.

 

[charlezz]

I'll be willing to bet she was with him before the break up... Kissing just as friends? Come on man look at the bigger picture. Long distance should be a no no anyway.

Yes, he also suspects that she was with him while they were together. And my brother is 99% sure they had s3x though she denied

 

[n52]

Yes, he also suspects that she was with him while they were together. And my brother is 99% sure they had s3x though she denied

Go with gut feeling always. move on.

 

[charlezz]

It's actually a tricky one. The reason why his gf broke up with him is because my brother hit her during an argument (first incident and he regretted it). She was very sad and broke up with him. My brother wasn't violent in nature and quite a cool calm guy usually..

Standing in her shoes, it did justify her breaking up with him...

They have reconciled but my brother has a heavy load in his mind... Is she considered cheating?

I am very close with my brother

 

[MtnMan]

the situation sounds toxic. I say the only choice is to move on.

 

[misoup]

I don't think my brother can move on from her now as it seems that she has been "performing well" since they patched up. They seem happy until he found the photos yesterday... which causes him to be paranoid for these 2days. We know too well that women can't really forget the lover as women work using emotions..

His concern is.. Is his gf and the guy still in contact?? Is she seeing both guys. Negative emotions working on him..

But seriously, they broke up that time when my brother hit her. In no way I agree that a man needs to raise his fist against a woman..

My advice to my brother is..

Stay together with her, BUT do not stop opening the chance to other potential women.. Give her the benefit of the doubt since now she is treating you well and exhibit high interest.
Should she be dodgy or inconsistent with her behavior, it's time to date someone new. Meanwhile, open his options. She needs to prove herself worth and be consistent for a long period of time

Good advice to my brother?

 

[donking]

Dude it's not worth the trouble for this woman. He can get another one. Don't settle.

 

[Night-hawk]

Not worth it. He is best advised to continue banging her and/ or banging out any last remnants of emotional investment until he reaches indifference. Play their game back on them and don't underestimate their vile nature.

 

[In2theGame]

Not worth it. He is best advised to continue banging her and banging out any last remnants of emotional investment. When he reaches indifference he can start finding new plates. Or just leave her ass if he doesn't have it in him to do so.

Do not give these girls an inch. Play their game back on them.

I agree that its not with it. Problem is when emotions are involved its hard to pullback especially if she begins "acting" sweet and loving again. Even if its an act, deep down he will be fighting himself to detach from the emotional side.

Highly recommended to completely pull the plug on this one.

 

[donking]

Honestly I think we as men let sheet slide a bit too much. In my last 'relationship' there were red flags in the 2nd month I let go just cuz I wanted to be chill/cool whatever. Red flags need to be shut down with a vengeance by either tell the ho to straighten up or u getting out.

 

[Night-hawk]

True. That may be better, realizing its common for girls to put on an act to reassure the guy's devotion. Her initial feelings of tension between her and him will cause her to be more affectionate, but careful, because this might be an act just to re-guarantee his devotions like I said, to which when attained, may wear off. And, especially considering that if thoughts like this keep festering in his mind, it will begin seeping out in his behavior, which might be an inevitable road to more impending disaster.

That's cool of you though to watch out for your brother like that. But you know that counsel will only go so far as the person's current mindset will allow it. But, suggestion is helpful.

 

[abe0]

Back to the original question....okay, your brother hits his gf...she breaks up...she finds another guy and bangs him. No its not cheating....they broke up. Not only did they break up ... she had a good reason for it.
Abe

 

[Night-hawk]

Let's give women the benefit of the doubt. NOT. There is a difference between trust and just letting something go. Good that your bro stops hitting the lasses, it wasn't appropriate at recess under the monkey bars, and not now.

Honestly I think we as men let sheet slide a bit too much. In my last 'relationship' there were red flags in the 2nd month I let go just cuz I wanted to be chill/cool whatever. Red flags need to be shut down with a vengeance by either tell the ho to straighten up or u getting out.

You have to lay it down because people will test what they can get away with. You can raise these sort of things - best when they occur - by being stern and remaining cool mon.

 

[collosuss]

I'll be willing to bet she was with him before the break up... Kissing just as friends? Come on man look at the bigger picture. Long distance should be a no no anyway.

Real...