past lovers

[harrysw]

My girlfriend(she asked to do it, not me) and I have been dating for about a month and a half now. Everything is fine, I have been reading this forum since my junior year of highschool and I am pretty good. Thankyou very much for all the help guys, I'm 21 now and have 0 problems getting with whatever woman I want. Anyway, I have been searching for the right girl for a very long time and this girl I am dating now finally qualified. Everything is great besides one thing. Her freshman year (she is a sophomore now) in the first semester she slept with 4 different guys. I believe these were strictly one night things, she had a boyfriend in highschool for a year her senior year and they never went past kissing. She was pretty straightforward when she told me this but it was clearly extremely embarrassing for her, she was in a sorority at the time and says she just got carried away, she says she was drunk all of the times. Late at night thinking this bothers me though, my father has always talked about watching for women who have had "little girl" episodes like this because they may revert back to doing them. My mother had one of these episodes apparently according to my dad her freshman year. How do I address this issue, Late at night I feel the need to know more about this, it is a mix of jealousy and also wanting her to be clear that nothing like this would ever be tolerated, but probably mainly jealousy. I'm sure one of these days it will come up, how do i handle it guys? How do I make sure shes not crazy? She is very loyal to me. If she trys to tell me about them I would really like to stop her and say "I don't want to hear it" because I really don't. It would make me too jealous. But would that make me sound like an AFC? I work out and I'm a pretty big guy, she says that the first time i took my shirt off in front of her she was amazed and I was the biggest guy shes ever gone out with. So I think these past things aren't a big deal to her, and these guys were just chumps, but part of me wants to find out for sure. Am I being an idiot guys?

 

[marmel75]

My girlfriend(she asked to do it, not me) and I have been dating for about a month and a half now. Everything is fine, I have been reading this forum since my junior year of highschool and I am pretty good. Thankyou very much for all the help guys, I'm 21 now and have 0 problems getting with whatever woman I want. Anyway, I have been searching for the right girl for a very long time and this girl I am dating now finally qualified. Everything is great besides one thing. Her freshman year (she is a sophomore now) in the first semester she slept with 4 different guys. I believe these were strictly one night things, she had a boyfriend in highschool for a year her senior year and they never went past kissing. She was pretty straightforward when she told me this but it was clearly extremely embarrassing for her, she was in a sorority at the time and says she just got carried away, she says she was drunk all of the times. Late at night thinking this bothers me though, my father has always talked about watching for women who have had "little girl" episodes like this because they may revert back to doing them. My mother had one of these episodes apparently according to my dad her freshman year. How do I address this issue, Late at night I feel the need to know more about this, it is a mix of jealousy and also wanting her to be clear that nothing like this would ever be tolerated, but probably mainly jealousy. I'm sure one of these days it will come up, how do i handle it guys? How do I make sure shes not crazy? She is very loyal to me. If she trys to tell me about them I would really like to stop her and say "I don't want to hear it" because I really don't. It would make me too jealous. But would that make me sound like an AFC? I work out and I'm a pretty big guy, she says that the first time i took my shirt off in front of her she was amazed and I was the biggest guy shes ever gone out with. So I think these past things aren't a big deal to her, and these guys were just chumps, but part of me wants to find out for sure. Am I being an idiot guys?

What's to address? Why do you care? Make sure she isn't crazy? Bro YOU might be the one who is crazy. Do you know what kind of a joke you'd look like by bringing it up and then saying "This won't be tolerated?".

Read your post again and then rethink your course of action. Don't be insecure. Don't act weak. Neither are attractive traits.

 

[harrysw]

yeah I am. hahah but Like how do I know if that kind of stuff is gonna happen again??
like If shes just gonna go into some crazy slvt mode again one day? How do I make that not happen?
Should I make her feel bad about it? Because I've never done any weak **** like that. I don't let em have the D unless I like her. It's just the way I am. and she knows I'm like that

 

[marmel75]

yeah I am. hahah but Like how do I know if that kind of stuff is gonna happen again??
like If shes just gonna go into some crazy slvt mode again one day? How do I make that not happen?

You don't. And bringing it up isn't going to make anything change other than you looking weak, insecure and jealous.

Same way you know when you go to sleep tonight you are going to wake up in the morning. You don't.

 

[harrysw]

So making her feel bad, sort of like a neg hit, isn't going to work in this scenario?

 

[marmel75]

So making her feel bad, sort of like a neg hit, isn't going to work in this scenario?

Maybe it would but I'd never make myself look insecure, weak or jealous of the other guys to see. It's a bad look for you bro, but if you are that insecure in yourself you need to, go for it I guess.

Simply being and projecting the confidence that you aren't worried about other guys would go a lot farther for you.

 

[harrysw]

Thanks man, I'm just acting like a b1tch right now. I pulled a muscle the other day and haven't been able to go lift in a few days, must be messing with my brain haha, estrogen level must be going up... She goes to school about an hour away from me, so I can't always be ready to go Henry hill vs the corvette guy on somebody. I guess I will just have to keep being a brick wall and use my masculinity and hope her instincts keep her on the right track when we aren't together, just like normal.
I'm an engineer so I like to know if things are gonna F up or not, but there is never 100% certainty of anything. Women are alot harder to do calculations on than bridges though.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

The real question is, how did this info come out in the first place? Did you ask her or did she volunteer it? Regardless, I never ask a girl about her past, nor do I reveal mine. Unless she has a kid, an STD, or is still seeing other dudes, it's not necessary to know. "But what if she goes into that mode and cheats on me?" you ask? Simple: dump her and date someone else. It's really that simple - as hard as it is to imagine, you can't take those kinds of things as personal attacks on your ego. If she hooks up with someone else, it just means you weren't the right one for her, and so you go and find someone else.

And yeah, don't bring it up to her or try to dig deeper. Don't let your brain get paranoid and sabotage this whole thing.

 

[Fireballs]

Sorry bro but it wasn't just 4 dudes she banged.