"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Passed on sex becuz girl was a feminist.

sodbuster

Master Don Juan
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As far as being depressed with all the stupid, don't be. It's going to get worse, LIfe is too easy, medicine is too good, and there are warning labels on everything, we aren't weeding out the stupid, they are breeding.

Until we have an honest to god wreck in the world, they will keep living
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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glass half full

Master Don Juan
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A roll in the hay with a blatant feminist should never be done by a DJ. They don't deserve our attention, there's enough dumba$$es out there for them to spank.
 
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