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Part two with the chick that works for me...

TheGambino

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Guys,

Read my last thread for back info if you didn't. I came in a weird position, I need to get things cleared up since its weird.
I need to know where I stand to make some good decisions, I just don't know now.

So today was a bad day at work with this broad. Thing is I can't help to flirt with her, and we flirt with our body language, theres attraction and chemistry. It's just what it is.
Her ex boyfriend cheated on her a couple of months ago and since then she flirts with me and I flirt back. Fact is that we laugh a lot and have chemistry. We see eachother almost everyday and I just focus on my work and go along with the flirting. No flirting in chatting ofc, only in body lanuage, eye contact and fun convo's. I tease her a lot at work like having a name for her without saying it, it's just the guy I am with a girl I like. Even if she works for me...

Now today she seemed really odd and confused herself at work. I asked her ''what's going on with you today''. She became super red!
She said ''you can see somethings wrong with me huh..'' because she wasn't giving the attention to my clients like she has to and she said nothing really. Then she said, well im seeing the sister of my ex boyfriend for the first time tommorow to chat up again and bond together again. I said ''ok'' and told her well let's give my clients attention again.

She always asks me what im up to tonight and what im up to tommorow (when im free)... and asks me what I do in my freetime and so on. I replie vague like sports and nothing much.

What's going on here? Is she mad that I flirt with her? Is she jealous?

She's only 20 and, not stupid but not very experienced also.

I'm confused myself what the f is going here lmao. Hope you guys can rationally clear this up.
 

FraUnderRadaren

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I'm no expert on picking up coworkers but the chances are high that she maybe acting weird because of something not related between you two.

Whatever bad read you picked up, I wouldn't blame it on something you did or said just yet
 

Jack444

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Hi. I have to jump in here. I also own my own business.I have many female staff and have dated several.Some I asked out said no, some said yes. One I lived with for 10 years. She might like to go out with you. She might not.What would I do? I would ask her out on a date and make sure to tell her its a date, not just a few drinks... I try to say it in a jokey way so if she says no, laugh it off. This often works for me... say this... If I took you out on a date, would I take you for an Italian or Chinese meal? If she does want to go out with you , she will let you know. I asked a woman out recently just like this and she said " I have never had a man state so clearly what he wants" we had several dates... Just go for it....Jack
 

BackInTheGame78

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Hi. I have to jump in here. I also own my own business.I have many female staff and have dated several.Some I asked out said no, some said yes. One I lived with for 10 years. She might like to go out with you. She might not.What would I do? I would ask her out on a date and make sure to tell her its a date, not just a few drinks... I try to say it in a jokey way so if she says no, laugh it off. This often works for me... say this... If I took you out on a date, would I take you for an Italian or Chinese meal? If she does want to go out with you , she will let you know. I asked a woman out recently just like this and she said " I have never had a man state so clearly what he wants" we had several dates... Just go for it....Jack
No meals on a first date
 

Serenity

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It's easy to interpret any positive feedback as signs of attraction when you yourself are attracted to that woman. Many women act like you describe by default and may have none of the fantasies you wish she has. I can't tell for sure one way or another because there's no good evidence in your description that she's into you in that way.

Now today she seemed really odd and confused herself at work. I asked her ''what's going on with you today''. She became super red!
This was unrelated to your previous interactions. She found it embarrassing that she was so distracted about the thing with her ex's sister that others noticed. You're also her boss and caught her underperforming, this can understandably also be embarrassing by itself.
 

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NSX-R

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Never fck or entertain the idea of fcking/getting together with someone that works for you . If you do they will assume authority on your business or act bossy around their coworkers. Only exception you should romantically/sexually connect with someone is shortly before you about to fire them .
 

TheGambino

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It's easy to interpret any positive feedback as signs of attraction when you yourself are attracted to that woman. Many women act like you describe by default and may have none of the fantasies you wish she has. I can't tell for sure one way or another because there's no good evidence in your description that she's into you in that way.


This was unrelated to your previous interactions. She found it embarrassing that she was so distracted about the thing with her ex's sister that others noticed. You're also her boss and caught her underperforming, this can understandably also be embarrassing by itself.
Hi @Serenity , can you read my last Thread for more back info?
 

BackInTheGame78

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You are worrying way too much about every little thing. What is this?

Either go for it or don't. Stop with this over-analyzation, it is not doing you any good and is just making your hamster wheel spin.
 

Serenity

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Hi @Serenity , can you read my last Thread for more back info?
I did and I stand by my opinion. You're grasping at straws trying to confirm what you wish to be true that may very well not be true.

This is the type of interaction I have with several women at my workplace, none of which have any intention of joining me in bed. It's just a fun way to interact.
 

PeasantPlayer

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If I get this new job I'll be working with mostly females. I'm wondering how I should play this
 

Romanemp22

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It probably have nothing to do with you, maybe shes stressed out cause she has to deal with her ex's sister so she was a bit off that day. Last time my advice to you was to check her out; is she really into you or only nice to you because of the fact that your her boss? If you like her and you think shes legit, ask her out and see where things will go from there.
 

Glassguy

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Not sure what your question is and not sure why you want to even think of screwing around with a chick at work.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Read my last thread with background. Question is, is she romantically interested? That’s basically it.
Honestly who cares. What you want is all that matters. Men don't wait around wondering if a woman is interested. They assume she is and act accordingly to get what they want.

There is never any shame in not getting what you want, only in not even trying in the first place.

If you want something to happen then make something happen. If not then don't. Worrying about what she wants is pointless and honestly kind of weak. You already giving her control and nothing has even happened between you two yet.
 
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Alvafe

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dude again?

you see the problem here? she look out of it ONE day, and you are going overdrive trying to figure her out, like it was your problem.

flirting is not a problem, but you are over analyzing like hell, you are far over her then she is and is trying to see thing where don't exist or worse, you want us to give you go ahead.

you come back here asking this again because you know this is a bad idea, but your "feelings" want your logic side to be wrong, guess what is not wrong, you know this is nothing, and nothing good will happen.

hell I saw this movie before, and it don't end well
 

Stoic

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Nobody on this thread is going to be able to tell you if shes romantically interested in you.

When she asks you what you are doing today/tomorrow after work, you say I'm going to do x, y, or z if you want to come along.

Men find out quickly where they stand with women when they make moves.
 

Gentleman

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I'm glad you brought this to the forum, the situation is tricky.
She started flirting with you after her boyfriend cheated, this is most likely her being hurt and (unconsciously) looking for a rebound. From what you said, she is probably into you, but unfortunately, not into you as much as you think. You spending so much time with her (during a regular day and business trips) and enjoying flirting with her WHILE NOT HAVING ANY PLATES is clouding your judgement. She is all you see. You are too close to the situation to see it clearly my friend.

The DJs saying you should go for it may be forgetting that you are not her manager, you are the BUSINESS OWNER. The ramifications if this goes sour will tarnish your reputation in YOUR OWN BUSINESS perhaps beyond repair (at least a manager can switch employers, you cannot). Women talk, employees talk, young women especially will talk with anyone with half an ear (you are not the only one she speaks with about her ex's infidelity). Others around the office know too. If you start ****ing her, others will know. No one forgets. I join companies and hear about things my boss did 5 years ago from fellow employees without even asking. You know she is attracted to you and @Alvafe (rightfully) mentioned that it sounds like maybe hoping there is a good reason for banging her. While this may be a really fun exciting experience and certainly a infamous tale for the history book of your life, you will almost certainly regret it. :(

As far as her behavior the other day. It is clear that she is still hung up on her ex. The moment she has to go meet up with his sister all the feelings of him are rushing back to her mind, you are forgotten until she is ready again for you. The feelings she has for you are shallow at the moment. I'm curious what you think is the real purpose of her meeting with her ex's sister. It's most certainly an expedition for some sort of repair of the relationship (on her part or the boyfriend's part). At this meeting she will find out from his sister how her ex is doing, they were so good together, blah blah. A good portion of them "chatting up and bonding together" will be centered on her past relationship. Her ex's sister will of course not condone her brother's infidelity but at the end of the day, be a diplomatic advocate for him in one way or another. Bottom line about her behavior is that she was so focused on her ex and meeting up with his sister again that she could not show you all the regular trappings of a good office flirt because there was none to give at that moment. Her feelings allowed her to detach from you easily. Depending on how that meeting goes with her ex's sister she will go back to her normal flirtatious self (if there is no sign of them getting back together) or she will drop the flirt act and leave you even more confused and feeling stupid/questioning yourself about if it's something you did.

I commend you that even though you are in a state of confusion regarding her behavior, you maintained composure. My recommendation to you would be to remain stoic and don't bang her if the opportunity arises.
 

TheGambino

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I'm glad you brought this to the forum, the situation is tricky.
She started flirting with you after her boyfriend cheated, this is most likely her being hurt and (unconsciously) looking for a rebound. From what you said, she is probably into you, but unfortunately, not into you as much as you think. You spending so much time with her (during a regular day and business trips) and enjoying flirting with her WHILE NOT HAVING ANY PLATES is clouding your judgement. She is all you see. You are too close to the situation to see it clearly my friend.

The DJs saying you should go for it may be forgetting that you are not her manager, you are the BUSINESS OWNER. The ramifications if this goes sour will tarnish your reputation in YOUR OWN BUSINESS perhaps beyond repair (at least a manager can switch employers, you cannot). Women talk, employees talk, young women especially will talk with anyone with half an ear (you are not the only one she speaks with about her ex's infidelity). Others around the office know too. If you start ****ing her, others will know. No one forgets. I join companies and hear about things my boss did 5 years ago from fellow employees without even asking. You know she is attracted to you and @Alvafe (rightfully) mentioned that it sounds like maybe hoping there is a good reason for banging her. While this may be a really fun exciting experience and certainly a infamous tale for the history book of your life, you will almost certainly regret it. :(

As far as her behavior the other day. It is clear that she is still hung up on her ex. The moment she has to go meet up with his sister all the feelings of him are rushing back to her mind, you are forgotten until she is ready again for you. The feelings she has for you are shallow at the moment. I'm curious what you think is the real purpose of her meeting with her ex's sister. It's most certainly an expedition for some sort of repair of the relationship (on her part or the boyfriend's part). At this meeting she will find out from his sister how her ex is doing, they were so good together, blah blah. A good portion of them "chatting up and bonding together" will be centered on her past relationship. Her ex's sister will of course not condone her brother's infidelity but at the end of the day, be a diplomatic advocate for him in one way or another. Bottom line about her behavior is that she was so focused on her ex and meeting up with his sister again that she could not show you all the regular trappings of a good office flirt because there was none to give at that moment. Her feelings allowed her to detach from you easily. Depending on how that meeting goes with her ex's sister she will go back to her normal flirtatious self (if there is no sign of them getting back together) or she will drop the flirt act and leave you even more confused and feeling stupid/questioning yourself about if it's something you did.

I commend you that even though you are in a state of confusion regarding her behavior, you maintained composure. My recommendation to you would be to remain stoic and don't bang her if the opportunity arises.
Thanks this sounds about exactley right.
In the past I banged many chicks that got hungover on their ex’s by projecting the most perfect guy and compare him to her ex’s bad behavior.

Getting her on that emotional rollercoaster got them to hit me up for cex. I can risk it and go with a convo about that with her. But I’ll probably follow your guide and focus on myself.
 
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