Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Painful oneitis with gf of 3.5 years.

CharlieLuciano

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Hello guys. So I've had this girlfriend for 3.5 years and for the last year or so I've had oneitis for her. She was everything I wanted in a girl. However, I am in uni in the UK and she just moved for uni in the US. As soon as she got her offer to study there, she became more emotionally detached and stopped being sweet and caring. There have been a few times she was back to her old self, but when she moved to the US, it's almost like I stopped existing for her.

I think I might've become less attractive to her due contracting oneitis. Is there a way of getting her back to the state she was in before? I've tried stopping contact for days at a time, but it barely makes her give me attention. I've been working out more and ****. And thing is I can't just next her because I am in the UK and most girls here are ugly and/or slutty. There are like 5% which are OK for hooking up, which means that like 0.5% or less are good for a relationship (and I can't cure my oneitis unless I get at least a casual relationship).
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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logicallefty

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OP, for guys like you with one-itis I might suggest online dating to take your mind off of it. Why online? I don't know what the online scene is in your country. Here in the USA, it's hit and miss, usually a lot more miss than hit, but not always. Online allows you more contacts and thus more hookups in a shorter amount of time.. Back when I had one its I would find that going out with any woman would help take the edge off. Just go out and have some fun with low expectations, and you won't be let down. Or to put it another way, adopt my "Think of women as beer" mindset, discussed here..

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=221281

If ya meet someone who is more than that, great, just don't expect it.. Make your goal to talk to as many women as possible and go out on 1 date each. It's all about managing your expectations and not shooting for the moon in a quick 3-4 hour flight. Good luck man.
 

ChalengeGuyFan

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CharlieLuciano said:
Hello guys. So I've had this girlfriend for 3.5 years and for the last year or so I've had oneitis for her. She was everything I wanted in a girl. However, I am in uni in the UK and she just moved for uni in the US. As soon as she got her offer to study there, she became more emotionally detached and stopped being sweet and caring. There have been a few times she was back to her old self, but when she moved to the US, it's almost like I stopped existing for her.

I think I might've become less attractive to her due contracting oneitis. Is there a way of getting her back to the state she was in before? I've tried stopping contact for days at a time, but it barely makes her give me attention. I've been working out more and ****. And thing is I can't just next her because I am in the UK and most girls here are ugly and/or slutty. There are like 5% which are OK for hooking up, which means that like 0.5% or less are good for a relationship (and I can't cure my oneitis unless I get at least a casual relationship).
What are we talking about here ?
Do you think the reason why she got emotionally detached even matters ?
Do you expect her to waste her youth and prime holding out for some d!ck on the other side of the ocean ?
Are you ready to sacrifice your youth and prime waiting for some pvssy on the other side of the ocean, for 4 years ?!
Lost cause. Move on.
 

Yewki

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CharlieLuciano said:
I think I might've become less attractive to her due contracting oneitis.
The reason why you became less appealing to her is because you're on the other side of the planet. I know you were with her for 3.5 years, and that's a long time, but you need to move on with your life... you must have suspected this was going to happen, right? Maybe when (if?) she returns to the UK you can reconnect but until then it's game over.
 

WorkHardPlayHard

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It's a wrap. Once she is no longer emotionally invested, you must - MUST - do the same. Curing oneitis hurts, especially after a girl you dated that long. Go totally no contact, strart talking to new girls. It'll expedite the curing process. She'll just be one of many girls you date in your life - remember that. If she reaches out to you, be cool and pleasantly disinterested, tell her about all the great **** going on. No way to make it work long distance.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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