"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Pain in the a** kid

ccs

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Theres this kid in my geology class who thinks hes funny ****. The only people that laugh with him are the other loser kids in the class who dont want to deal with his "Your mom..." or "Small penis" jokes. I know they dont reallt like him because i talk to them after class and they all say he's a faggot.

So would would one say to **** like this:

"Your mom (whatever)"

"At least i can see my penis"

Just stupid **** like that. Oh yea and theres no girls in this class for some reason so djing or trying to impress.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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penkitten

Master Don Juan
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type the following letter to your teacher and mail it to the school attn to your teacher. .

just say this ...

dear (insert teachers name)
i am in your (insert which period)
there is a real butt in our class who never shuts up with his immature senseless "your momma " jokes and such.
his name is (insert name)
the rest of our class came here for the education and enjoy your teaching, we did not come for the entertainment and its not very entertaining.
please do whatever is possible to control him in class, or else the rest of us are going to have our parents take it to the principal and the board of education.
he makes this class suck.
sincerly,
someone who wants an education
 

ccs

Don Juan
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but i want to say something BACK that makes him look like a total *****
 

comic_relief

Master Don Juan
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the best revenge is to live on with your life

He is not worth your time or energy.

Saying something back only lowers yourself to his level. It is not worth it and you will look like a big man. If he tries anything on you, then just say "Wow, I hear an annoying fly." Thats what I did and after three times of that. He saw he wouldn't get a rise out of me and left me alone.
 

Veyron

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me myself im a pretty laid back kid.if the kid keeps giving you **** hit him in the stomach,usually people like this are little *****es.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Patrick124

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look at him and go "bro, listen: no one likes you. you're not funny, its sjut annoying. stop trying distract everyone."
he'll probalby make some smartass comment and then jsut be like "...my point exactly. real intelligent."
 

jenzos

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Originally posted by Patrick124
look at him and go "bro, listen: no one likes you. you're not funny, its sjut annoying. stop trying distract everyone."
he'll probalby make some smartass comment and then jsut be like "...my point exactly. real intelligent."
Ya but you have to do it in front of EVERYONE. most likely your teacher doesnt like him if he interrupts so you will get on everyones good side.
 

Phat

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Ok heres a few combacks next time this ******* says something smart.


And how come you guys always act like little *****s when someone is making fun of you or something.. Jeez you guys need to learn how to stick up for your self.





-Let's get off moms, 'cause I just got off yours.


-Hey keep my mom out of this and I'll keep this out of Yo mama!


-Hey, if I wanted a comeback, I'd wipe off your chin.


-If I wanted any lip from you I'd jiggle my zipper.



-That was good, but not as good as Yo mama was last night.



-Man, that joke is so old you might as well be bustin' knock knock jokes. And speaking of knock knock, that's what my balls were doing on Yo Mama's chin last night.

-Hey I don't have a mom, me and my dad just use yours!
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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qweretyuiopas

Master Don Juan
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Originally posted by Phat
-Let's get off moms, 'cause I just got off yours.

-Hey, if I wanted a comeback, I'd wipe off your chin.

-If I wanted any lip from you I'd jiggle my zipper.

-Hey I don't have a mom, me and my dad just use yours!
Yes if u must use a comeback use one of those lmfao :crackup:
 
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