"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Pacticing at work??

Diaforetikos

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I keep seeing all these journals and FRs and I'm tired of missing out. I'm tired of waiting. I want to change. So I'm gonna be practicing opening people.

The thing is, since I work so much, I don't get much time to go out. And when I do get time, I can't go anywhere because I share a car with my bro. There aren't any clubs where I live. Nearsest one is 30-40 minutes away.

I really wanna get into this, so I was wondering, is practicing at work a good idea?

I work in retail in a mall so I get a variety of people. But since I'm just starting out, do I risk problems at my job, or do I go for it and say fvck it?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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2crudedudes

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Practice on customers, not co-workers. Co-worker drama is HUGE when sh*t goes wrong. Speaking from experience here. It could cost you your job. With customers, the risk is lower because the worse that could happen is the customer doesn't come back. Not a big deal when you have a mall full of people. However, don't get too pushy with your approaches or they could complain to your manager about you.
 

TheGunslinger

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Diaforetikos said:
I really wanna get into this, so I was wondering, is practicing at work a good idea?
It depends what you're thinking of.

With customers it's fine, as long as you don't come off as a pervert - you start getting complaints for sexual harrassment and you can kiss the job goodbye, although I doubt it'll come to that. Still, I'd probably focus on building up confidence and practice spinning a good conversation out of thin air with them rather than trying to nail them. No point risking your job over some ass, right?

Co-workers? Talk to them, get to know them, get them to recommend you to their hot friends. But for the love of god, do not hit on them.

The good doctorj has put this out there already, but it's worth repeating:

Don't **** where you eat.

Say this to yourself everytime you feel like grabbing a co-worker's ass and you'll be fine.
 

Diaforetikos

Senior Don Juan
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Thanks guys. I appreciate you guys taking time to answer somethin small like this.

You guys seem to be saying the same thing. Luckily I only have two female coworkers. One of is my manager, and she's old. The second is a close friend and her bf is a good friend as well, so coworkers are out of the question.

I am very good with customer service and can strike up conversations with people about anything. My problem is holding the conversation without becoming boring. I'm also trying to steer away from the same old yes or no questions. Just trying to build confidence and not care what anyone says.

As far as work goes today, I'm still here. Haha. It's going good so far. Projecting my voice. Getting quiet customers to laugh. High energy and lots of fun. Since this isn't a FR thread and since nothing great stood out from today, I won't be posting any stories. I'll start a journal thread ASAP.

To Noob: No, Im in the US. And thanks for the input.
To Gunslinger: Hahaha. I love that azz part. Thanks for the heads up.
To 2crudedudes: I'm never pushy. But since I will be practicing I do need to hear that. Thanks
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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