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Overthinking is ruining my mindset

Prodoge

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It has been 8 weeks I have been studying abroad now, the first 5-6 I had a great mindset and had fun all the time. Over the past 2 to 3 weeks It feels like I have been concerned/thinking about things way to much and it has ruined my mood.

This has been my problem for a while now I have trouble just going with the flow and letting things happen. My mind just seems to be hyperactive.

I dont know how I can stop this overthinking business. I know I do it but I dont know how to stop it.
 

wifehunter

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It has been 8 weeks I have been studying abroad now, the first 5-6 I had a great mindset and had fun all the time. Over the past 2 to 3 weeks It feels like I have been concerned/thinking about things way to much and it has ruined my mood.

This has been my problem for a while now I have trouble just going with the flow and letting things happen. My mind just seems to be hyperactive.

I dont know how I can stop this overthinking business. I know I do it but I dont know how to stop it.


The mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Channel that energy into your mission. Exhaust yourself.

Stay distracted by cool stuff.
 

Prodoge

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Actually let me reword that: basically I worry too much about things I cannot influence
 

MoreThanSmooth

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Same here man. Do you have a naturally analytical mind?

I swear I’m borderline depressed atm purely because I’m always thinking and worrying about s*** most people don’t seem to give a second thought.

I find socialising helps take the edge off, other people bring a levity I don’t feel when I’m alone long enough to start my brain thinking about things.
 
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Billtx49

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Actually let me reword that: basically I worry too much about things I cannot influence
It’s not about worry, it’s about fear. Recognize what it is and deal with it.
Irrational fear of the unknown…
 
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Prodoge

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Same here man. Do you have a naturally analytical mind?

I swear I’m borderline depressed atm purely because I’m always thinking and worrying about s*** most people don’t seem to give a second thought.

I find socialising helps take the edge off, other people bring a levity I don’t feel when I’m alone long enough to start my brain thinking about things.
That sums it up perfectly, when i am with people ir focused on something no problem. But when I am alone I tend to think of things and analyze situations, behaviors or anything and sometimes in ruines my mood
 

Stallionstud

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I became dependent on socialization. And for good reason. It’s healthy. I grew up very much alone though and never had a problem with the lack of it until I committed to perusing it. Now I literally NEED social stimulus or I feel like my time/life is being wasted. Tonight I would of felt like a depressed loser but I went to the brewery and talked to people/made friends. It was what I needed.

Sounds super ****ing codependent but that’s the beast of society, you want it or else your a hermit that doesn’t get laid.
 

wifehunter

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In my experience "overthinking" stems from fear of failure. It is also the antithesis of confidence. I'm happiest and most confident when I embrace failure and criticism.

Better to risk and fail than remain mired in indecision.


"When you can't cry, you laugh."

- Benjamin 'Hawkeye' Pierce

Make jokes.
 

Serenity

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Occasionally my mind starts to get out of hand too. The fix isn't super quick and it's kind of counter intuitive. What I do is instead of trying to control it and stop it (which takes energy) I just let it loose. I know, it sounds like madness but eventually it clears up by itself. You could call it meditation, that's probably what it is. It gets worse at first but your mind will run out of sh!t to bother you with if you stop bothering.

I think an important distinction here is that these aren't your thought, they're thoughts that appear in your mind. Meaning you don't control it and when they appear they interfere with the thoughts you do control. You are not the thoughts, you're the observer of them, meaning the actual you is an entirely different part of your mind. From that perspective it's rather easy to organize your mind, let the bothering thoughts pass and focus on one at a time. Right now you're giving attention to too many simultaneously, the mind has its limits, pick one and let the rest pass.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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