"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Overdoing C/F
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Midnight Carnival
Don Juan
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Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
In the moment it was just a little ****y but afterwards I wondered if it was a "neg". I was just teasing her. I'm not used to putting labels on how I behave.
I wonder if making fun of a dog with a sweater is like making fun of what the woman is wearing, or her child since a lot of women get dogs as their first child.
I was confident and playful. I don't think she was insulted. Yet here I am still worrying about how she perceives me. Hmm.
DavenJuan
Master Don Juan
IMO C&F can be very dangerous. i think you have to be careful becauswe when you apply this to your specific personality you can be misinterpreted.
without c&f im a bit funny and strongliy confident. so when i specifically use c&f it does not come off as uncomfortable for me or even to the women.
if you are more of a timid personality or quite guy, then you turn up the c&f, you CAN look like a jerk.
learn to apply it with your specific personality, and just have fun.
at the end of the day, who really cares what she thinks if that wasnt your intentions.
Yeah I'm not hurting anybody. I just like to tease.
Girls are for teasing and making fun of, at least to me. It works for me so I'm not going to start second guessing myself.
You can achieve the same effect by just calling out girls on things you notice naturally. Don't work to "neghit," a lot of the terminology and theories you seen thrown around on this site are pretty stupid and unnecessary. They do help you learn to experiment from your AFC ways, which ultimately lets you learn how to be a DJ, but as far as effectiveness goes... none of these tactics really work. Work less hard on trying to be C/F and harder on just having a good time FOR YOURSELF.
However, you should be warned. At times a woman may say stuff such as "I can't believe you just said that!" At this point, many guys throw away what they have worked so hard to get - which is a woman's attraction. It's a test to see if you have balls to stand up what you just told her.. but SOMETIMES it's not like that. (There is exceptions to everything.) Do not EVER say something such as, "I was just kidding" etc. Just keep on going, but loosen the ****y, replace it with confidence, and you are in!
There are many minor variables that need to be considered as well. (The age of the girl, what kind of girl she is, etc.) You cannot be too ****y with a very insecure/shy girl, and you cannot be too ****y with younger girls, as most of them are immature. More information would have been nice, but I hope I helped you out! If you have any other questions, feel free to drop me a PM.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
It might be an awkward moment, but it's exactly that... a moment. This C/F stuff really means nothing in the long run. In my opinion, it's not gonna make or break your success with a girl at all.
Axcell said:If you are overdoing it, do not stop. ****y humor is like a topping on the pizza, you don't want too much of it. Most of your pizza is hopefully dough and cheese. Just mix ****y humor whenever you get a good chance, and once you have some sort of rapport with the girl. Also, some examples on this site are much too ****y.. maybe the lines you are using aren't field tested. Try finding more lines that are more funny than ****y, you will get better responses.
However, you should be warned. At times a woman may say stuff such as "I can't believe you just said that!" At this point, many guys throw away what they have worked so hard to get - which is a woman's attraction. It's a test to see if you have balls to stand up what you just told her.. but SOMETIMES it's not like that. (There is exceptions to everything.) Do not EVER say something such as, "I was just kidding" etc. Just keep on going, but loosen the ****y, replace it with confidence, and you are in!
There are many minor variables that need to be considered as well. (The age of the girl, what kind of girl she is, etc.) You cannot be too ****y with a very insecure/shy girl, and you cannot be too ****y with younger girls, as most of them are immature. More information would have been nice, but I hope I helped you out! If you have any other questions, feel free to drop me a PM.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
I say if you have to explain that you were kidding, what you said was obviously not funny and was probably an insult.DoctorLW said:I disagree. If a girl takes offense to something an "I was just kidding" is fine...
Like that one.DoctorLW said:I usually am direct and blunt always, so I tell it like it is: "What, I was just playing. Are you really that insecure?"
Yes, I am well aware about that line. Heard it a couple of month ago from a PUA, Payton Kane, or something a long the lines of that name. However, you should not apologize or say that you were kidding unless you said something that could have been interpreted wrong and you came off as too ****y. (However, it is ****y+funny, you need to make sure you are doing it right to avoid that from happening in the first place.) However, a better thing to say would have been: "Aww poor baby, you aren't THAT insecure, are you?" Strongly stress the "THAT", and have a nice confident voice, and you are in. You shouldn't be rude to girls in the first place, and apologizing sets her as the prize, rather than you.DoctorLW said:I disagree. If a girl takes offense to something an "I was just kidding" is fine. Just depends how you say it. I usually am direct and blunt always, so I tell it like it is: "What, I was just playing. Are you really that insecure?" I don't think I've ever gotten a response back other than "I was kidding too."
It might be an awkward moment, but it's exactly that... a moment. This C/F stuff really means nothing in the long run. In my opinion, it's not gonna make or break your success with a girl at all.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
DoctorLW said:I disagree. If a girl takes offense to something an "I was just kidding" is fine. QUOTE]
I was doing some c&f on a friend of mine(who happens to have a crush on me) and at one point something I said seem offensive to her, and to the entire group.
I think it went along the lines of, "if you're talking about cleaning so much why don't you come be my cleaning lady and i'll give you a dollar for every job".
Everybody at the dinner table just looked me, I didn't pay attention to any one of them, even though I knew they were staring. I kept on eating my food like normal and NEVER tagged "just kidding" at the end of it. I think it is a sign of submission if you say that.
Well, nobody hated me after that, on the contrary everybody in the end seem to have enjoyed my company.
SLY said:You probably said the most interesting thing at the dinner!DoctorLW said:I disagree. If a girl takes offense to something an "I was just kidding" is fine. QUOTE]
I was doing some c&f on a friend of mine(who happens to have a crush on me) and at one point something I said seem offensive to her, and to the entire group.
I think it went along the lines of, "if you're talking about cleaning so much why don't you come be my cleaning lady and i'll give you a dollar for every job".
Everybody at the dinner table just looked me, I didn't pay attention to any one of them, even though I knew they were staring. I kept on eating my food like normal and NEVER tagged "just kidding" at the end of it. I think it is a sign of submission if you say that.
Well, nobody hated me after that, on the contrary everybody in the end seem to have enjoyed my company.