"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Overcoming shyness

Syren

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There is a myth that you can go from zero to MPUA in a matter of weeks with the right material. The fact is, it takes social calibration, and social clibration takes TIME. How did I start out? I asked myself a few questions and took action.

Look at your life, what have you done that was difficult and took time to learn? How did you achieve it? By getting stuck in and trying to do something, or by complaining?

When I first met an excellent wing, pied_piper I remember him coming to me with approach anxiety and looking, what I must say was quite scared. I winged him into a couple of sets and physically moved him into kino. I wish I could do this for everyone out there, because sometimes we all need that nudge over the line. piper is now a kino master/ninja!

What can a person reading this post do? Here are some things that worked for me.

- Get friends (game aware or not), to pick a sets that you HAVE to approach. With somebody stood behind you saying "GO ON!" You are much more likley to go into set

- Join a lair full of guys you can learn from. Joining CarpePM was one of the best decisions I ever made, and more recently meeting people like Fad3r and hopefully others in the not too distant future have helped and will continue to help me.

- Promise yourself you are going to approach. By the time you actually get in set and run an opener, you can reward yourself. You have done the hardest thing you will ever have to do in the game. The rest is much easier than this.

- Visualise the cool guy you are and will become in set. Imagine what it would look like to see you being really cool in set and everyone loving it. That is the reality very shortly. Get used to it, and work towards making it inevitible.

- Break through the shyness barrier. I have met many guys who are quiet and cannot be heard. Yet many of them have learned to project and use kino and do all the things we can do to get and keep a girls attention. Shout loudly to songs, bring out your loud side. It's there LET IT SHOW. Please don't hide it, you will be REWARDED for showing your social side. Thats why they call it society

- Dare to fail. ONLY THOSE WHO DARE TO DREAM will ever achieve them. You have to fail before you can succeed. Get used to it, get comfortable with it then GET OVER IT. I've seen harlequin blown out of a set (yes it actually happened, he's mortal!!) I've been blown out of countless sets, everyone who improves HAS BLOWN A SET.

This is your new mindset, digest it, read it five more times. Read it every morning, and at night before bed. Stick it to your head. You WILL succeed, but it WILL TAKE TIME!

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Why I think this myth exists...

I have a lot of friends who are not in the community but have come across Styles book and I have noticed a pattern. Everyone wants results today, without going into the field and putting the hard work in. I think as anyone can vouch it is hard work, and hard work alone that has gotten us to where we are as APUAs.

That got me thinking, why is this? The answer I kept coming back to was Low Self Esteem. Not only will low self esteem prevent someone from sarging, it causes people to lie to themselves and pretend they don't need to improve. I know a couple of guys who are with girls they are far from 100% happy with, yet they stick with them? They become validated by something they don't want and throw away their dominant frame. Its SAD TO SEE! It makes me want to shake them like a polaroid picture.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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organizedconfusion

Master Don Juan
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Syren said:
- Dare to fail. ONLY THOSE WHO DARE TO DREAM will ever achieve them. You have to fail before you can succeed. Get used to it, get comfortable with it then GET OVER IT. I've seen harlequin blown out of a set (yes it actually happened, he's mortal!!) I've been blown out of countless sets, everyone who improves HAS BLOWN A SET.


------------------------------------

Why I think this myth exists...

I have a lot of friends who are not in the community but have come across Styles book and I have noticed a pattern. Everyone wants results today, without going into the field and putting the hard work in. I think as anyone can vouch it is hard work, and hard work alone that has gotten us to where we are as APUAs.

That got me thinking, why is this? The answer I kept coming back to was Low Self Esteem. Not only will low self esteem prevent someone from sarging, it causes people to lie to themselves and pretend they don't need to improve. I know a couple of guys who are with girls they are far from 100% happy with, yet they stick with them? They become validated by something they don't want and throw away their dominant frame. Its SAD TO SEE! It makes me want to shake them like a polaroid picture.

this not only applies to pick up, but to other aspects in life as well..i too have been victim of the 'why bother' mentality and not even try in the first place.Either if it's with i car i think may be faster then mine during a race or even little things like wanting to go out and sarge but then letting negative thoughts like -'ah, it's probaly dead out anyways' and then winde up staying home and watching MTV or something (like tonight :rolleyes: ,plus i am broke!)

about the last paragraph, i think ALL of my old AFC friends are like that, as a matter of fact- sorry to say but they are a bunch of desperate n olife bottom feeders..trying to put eachother down in order to look good in front of girls,stealing eachothers girls,and even as bad as fvcking eachothers girls behind eachothers back..totally shady i say, and you guys wonder where my defensive mentality comes from! :yes: yet they try to clown on me when they see me with girls or might hear that i turned down during a set...fvcking chumps. is it my abs ,is it the attitude, is it the fact that i can game girls that they can only smirk at..i don't know, i guess there world is full of chumps that can only hate on the game cause they have no game :whistle:

good post it's a nice refresher...
 

Syren

Don Juan
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AFCs work against each other, a Don Juan will work with fellow DJ's and help them out because they have reached a level of maturity in their lives where not every peice of meat has to be scrapped over, and eventually lost during the in-fighting.
 

thefonz

Master Don Juan
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Good stuff.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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