Centaurion
Master Don Juan
She's stringing you along.
You do have other plates spinning, right? hmm?
You do have other plates spinning, right? hmm?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
over analyzing?
- Thread starter vp171s
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
MacDiddy
Master Don Juan
That leverage being a sweet pu$$y.. And don't they know how to dangle it like a carrot...
You don't need to get it... Only accept it as usual behaviour from chicks... and let it work to your advantage...
You should have initiated the rollerblading and followed thru as if you were already planning to go rollerblading and not on account of her... She says no, you get the fcuk out of there and "rollerblade". Your waiting on her gives her the upper hand which she appreciates.. (but not to the point where she's gonna give it up)
Ok so VERY interesting update.
Today we went rollerblading together. Things started off a little bumpy (I called her this morning only to find out she was still sleeping even though we were meeting an hour later).
So we went rollerblading. It was a great time. I excersised some kino on her, lower back area. I was hoping shed be a worse skater, but she turned out pretty good, so no need to "save" her. After the blading we hit the beach and did that for a bit. The best parts came as we were leaving and on the way home.
First of, she told me she had a belly button piercing but she didn't like it so she took it off. Naturally I asked why she didn't like it. Guess what her answer was? Mind you she spent a bit of time thinking about it before she asnwered. She finaly said, because I didn't like the way it looked when I was naked.
mmmmmmmmm, interesting answer wouldn't you say?
So I came back with a "how often do you get naked?", then I said "must be a lot", and we laughed. Is there anything to analyze in that?
Anywho, that opened up the subject to more interesting things. I got a compliment on my body and she mentioned how she thinks I'd look good with a tatoo on my back. Not my thing, but whatever. I threw in a little comment about how she's quite hot as well. Maybe I shouldn't have, but I did, so too bad.
So as I was driving her to her house I asked if shed wan't to do something tomorrow night, I stressed the night part, she didn't seem to keen so I wasn't too happy.
I got home and remembered that I forgot the name of the club she mentioned she liked. I figured I'd check it out with some friends, so I call her up and I'm like:
Me: "Listen, what was the name of that club again?"
Her: "<name> why?"
Me: "Oh, a few friends and I are going out, I thought we'd try out something new."
Her: "I'd want to go too!"
Me: "Huh? We're going tonight, I thought you had work tonight?"
Her: "Well yeah but I won't be late!"
Me: "Give me a call when you're off work and we'll see"
Her: "Ok if its just you and the guys its ok, but if you want other people I'll go"
Me: "Ok, oh and about tomorrow, if you change your mind, give me a call"
Her: "Well you see, I still have to unpack, blah blah blah"
Me: "Whatever, if you change your mind, call me."
Interesting, she mentioned nothing about wanting to do anything tonight and yet just by showing her I do things away from her she got all eager. I hope I played it well. I obviously don't plan to go to the club with her tonight, enough attention for one day. I hope this way I'll be able to gauge her interest more. Now she has to call ME, I made that clear. I've set up our last 2 get together, now lets see what she wants.
PS. Shes 22 right...I'm 20. I found out the club she told me about is 21+. Hehe, guess I won't be going there with my friends.
Opinions, Suggestions, Comments?
Today we went rollerblading together. Things started off a little bumpy (I called her this morning only to find out she was still sleeping even though we were meeting an hour later).
So we went rollerblading. It was a great time. I excersised some kino on her, lower back area. I was hoping shed be a worse skater, but she turned out pretty good, so no need to "save" her. After the blading we hit the beach and did that for a bit. The best parts came as we were leaving and on the way home.
First of, she told me she had a belly button piercing but she didn't like it so she took it off. Naturally I asked why she didn't like it. Guess what her answer was? Mind you she spent a bit of time thinking about it before she asnwered. She finaly said, because I didn't like the way it looked when I was naked.
mmmmmmmmm, interesting answer wouldn't you say?
So I came back with a "how often do you get naked?", then I said "must be a lot", and we laughed. Is there anything to analyze in that?
Anywho, that opened up the subject to more interesting things. I got a compliment on my body and she mentioned how she thinks I'd look good with a tatoo on my back. Not my thing, but whatever. I threw in a little comment about how she's quite hot as well. Maybe I shouldn't have, but I did, so too bad.
So as I was driving her to her house I asked if shed wan't to do something tomorrow night, I stressed the night part, she didn't seem to keen so I wasn't too happy.
I got home and remembered that I forgot the name of the club she mentioned she liked. I figured I'd check it out with some friends, so I call her up and I'm like:
Me: "Listen, what was the name of that club again?"
Her: "<name> why?"
Me: "Oh, a few friends and I are going out, I thought we'd try out something new."
Her: "I'd want to go too!"
Me: "Huh? We're going tonight, I thought you had work tonight?"
Her: "Well yeah but I won't be late!"
Me: "Give me a call when you're off work and we'll see"
Her: "Ok if its just you and the guys its ok, but if you want other people I'll go"
Me: "Ok, oh and about tomorrow, if you change your mind, give me a call"
Her: "Well you see, I still have to unpack, blah blah blah"
Me: "Whatever, if you change your mind, call me."
Interesting, she mentioned nothing about wanting to do anything tonight and yet just by showing her I do things away from her she got all eager. I hope I played it well. I obviously don't plan to go to the club with her tonight, enough attention for one day. I hope this way I'll be able to gauge her interest more. Now she has to call ME, I made that clear. I've set up our last 2 get together, now lets see what she wants.
PS. Shes 22 right...I'm 20. I found out the club she told me about is 21+. Hehe, guess I won't be going there with my friends.
Opinions, Suggestions, Comments?
Centaurion
Master Don Juan
NEVER EVER try to schedule a second date during the first one.
just my 2 cents.
just my 2 cents.
Yeah I believe that's become quite clear to me now too.Centaurion said:
I think I'm done scheduling dates for now. If she's interested she'll come up with something, call me or talk to me in class about it, and then we can set it up. As far as I'm concerned now, I've done my part, showed my interest and that is it.
Time to leave this plate to spin and go work on another.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
So we had class today together again. I decided to take a little approach I like to call, ignore her.
So that's what I did, even though I sat beside her, I didn't talk to her other than informalities, didn't ask for the time like I usually do. I even asked the prof to clarify stuff that I clearly could have asked her to.
And the sad part of all is that she didn't elicit any interest what so ever. Except she did ask me if I ever went to the club I called to ask the name of, I said I went to a different one. And that was it.
Now suddenly going to class got a lot less interesting. Damn this blows.
So that's what I did, even though I sat beside her, I didn't talk to her other than informalities, didn't ask for the time like I usually do. I even asked the prof to clarify stuff that I clearly could have asked her to.
And the sad part of all is that she didn't elicit any interest what so ever. Except she did ask me if I ever went to the club I called to ask the name of, I said I went to a different one. And that was it.
Now suddenly going to class got a lot less interesting. Damn this blows.
Chemistry
Master Don Juan
Listen to MacDiddy…
Considering how hard you attempted to come down on me in that other thread I find it remarkable that you’re still asking these questions.
Reality is that you’re one of her options. Girls will play games with a lot of guys, keeping many irons on the fire – yea, exactly the same way that we do. She’s slowly learning that you’re the kind of guy she can make plans with, break plans with, then call up to make some more plans with next week just in case she isn’t able to run with her first option. You’re her dating equivalent of basketball’s sixth man – a valuable addition to her phone book who she'll bring into the action as and when she feels like it.
While the class may be less interesting now, it was only interesting in the first place because you thought there was promise where there was none. Now that you know where you really stand, it’s much healthier. It’s all a learning phase, there was a time a few years back when I was still learning the full extent of the ropes, and had women dictating my schedule before getting cancelled on for ‘enter reason here’… now I’m the one making plans and breaking them with different chicks, not that its something to brag about, merely evidence of how times have changed.
Second that point made also about the mother excuse. If a girl’s interested in you she will break any plans, except the most serious, i.e. birthdays, with her mother. Girls disobey their mothers all the time; I even had a girl miss her own mother’s birthday party on one occasion to stay out with me… I took her from “we’ve got to meet early because I’ve got leave at 10pm” to her still being out at 3a.m. the same night… if girls are willing to do that, then they’ll happily break much less serious plans.
Considering how hard you attempted to come down on me in that other thread I find it remarkable that you’re still asking these questions.
Reality is that you’re one of her options. Girls will play games with a lot of guys, keeping many irons on the fire – yea, exactly the same way that we do. She’s slowly learning that you’re the kind of guy she can make plans with, break plans with, then call up to make some more plans with next week just in case she isn’t able to run with her first option. You’re her dating equivalent of basketball’s sixth man – a valuable addition to her phone book who she'll bring into the action as and when she feels like it.
While the class may be less interesting now, it was only interesting in the first place because you thought there was promise where there was none. Now that you know where you really stand, it’s much healthier. It’s all a learning phase, there was a time a few years back when I was still learning the full extent of the ropes, and had women dictating my schedule before getting cancelled on for ‘enter reason here’… now I’m the one making plans and breaking them with different chicks, not that its something to brag about, merely evidence of how times have changed.
Second that point made also about the mother excuse. If a girl’s interested in you she will break any plans, except the most serious, i.e. birthdays, with her mother. Girls disobey their mothers all the time; I even had a girl miss her own mother’s birthday party on one occasion to stay out with me… I took her from “we’ve got to meet early because I’ve got leave at 10pm” to her still being out at 3a.m. the same night… if girls are willing to do that, then they’ll happily break much less serious plans.
Pimp-sicle
Master Don Juan
First of all your trying WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too hard with this chick and she has you by the ball-sack. I can't figure out what's worse, you knowing she has all the power or you continuing to give her all the power.
Secondly, your TOO AVAILABLE to her!! You should have been out with your boys meeting new girls in addition to her and then casually hanging out with her once a week outside of class. In class you should flirt for a bit, but mainly pay attention to the lecture, you are there to secure your future after all. I cringed when I read how many times you were asking her to hang out, while you were already hanging out at the moment. Never see a girl 3x in a week when you first meet her! Especially if you already see her in class a few times a week anyway!!
Now your left in a position that makes you feel/look akward. If you suddenly stop talking to her (like you've started to do) then you look bitter and remorseful. If you continue talking to her, then you look like a chump who has the letters "WALK ON ME" tattooed across your forehead. Anyways, we've all been in your position when we were learning at one point or another.
The best solution is to NEXT her, but be prepared for her to come after you once you do this. What your missing here is that she's a bit of an attention w-hore. AW's will give you all the buying signals except for the actual product (pu##y). She blows you off a few times to upset you, then reels you back in just when your about to give up, just to keep you hooked on her chain. That's why you were probably confused earlier, thinking you were more than a friend, but not enough to bump you over the hill. Don't make the mistake of judging a girl too fast. You think she's this sweet, hot, innocent girl. When in reality she's most likely a sexual, flirt, who gets off on attention from males of all kinds.
As the other have said, never let a girl run the agenda. She is completely running the show here, and she's bored with your predictablity. This has one-itis written all over it, so get away from the situation and meet new girls. Make sure you take note of your errors with her, so you don't repeat them with the next girl.
And don't get down on yourself, shake it off and keep moving forward.
PIMP
Secondly, your TOO AVAILABLE to her!! You should have been out with your boys meeting new girls in addition to her and then casually hanging out with her once a week outside of class. In class you should flirt for a bit, but mainly pay attention to the lecture, you are there to secure your future after all. I cringed when I read how many times you were asking her to hang out, while you were already hanging out at the moment. Never see a girl 3x in a week when you first meet her! Especially if you already see her in class a few times a week anyway!!
Now your left in a position that makes you feel/look akward. If you suddenly stop talking to her (like you've started to do) then you look bitter and remorseful. If you continue talking to her, then you look like a chump who has the letters "WALK ON ME" tattooed across your forehead. Anyways, we've all been in your position when we were learning at one point or another.
The best solution is to NEXT her, but be prepared for her to come after you once you do this. What your missing here is that she's a bit of an attention w-hore. AW's will give you all the buying signals except for the actual product (pu##y). She blows you off a few times to upset you, then reels you back in just when your about to give up, just to keep you hooked on her chain. That's why you were probably confused earlier, thinking you were more than a friend, but not enough to bump you over the hill. Don't make the mistake of judging a girl too fast. You think she's this sweet, hot, innocent girl. When in reality she's most likely a sexual, flirt, who gets off on attention from males of all kinds.
As the other have said, never let a girl run the agenda. She is completely running the show here, and she's bored with your predictablity. This has one-itis written all over it, so get away from the situation and meet new girls. Make sure you take note of your errors with her, so you don't repeat them with the next girl.
And don't get down on yourself, shake it off and keep moving forward.
PIMP
MacDiddy
Master Don Juan
Mistake # 321
You should have sat besides some other chick and made conversation.. Preferably in front of said chick!
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Ashley Chuckles - I wasn't coming down hard on you, I was just disagreeing with your choice of words. Either way that and this are kind of unrelated.
As for your reply, unfortunately for me, I agree with all of it. I'm trying to come to terms with "it’s much healthier" class now that I see my posibilities clearly. There is something I didn't bother to explain and that is that I'm not even registered in the class, I show up because it's convinient, I plan to take it next semester, and the extra bonus was I'd get to spend time with her. Now I have two choices to stop coming, which would look dumb. Or come, she'll likely sit beside me and I'll have to twirl my thumbs in my head for a whole 2.5 hours.
Pimp-sicle - I hope she's enjoying the feel of my ball sack.
Yes it is true, I've tried to be available for her, because I wanted to spend time with her. Except last Saturday. After our rollerblading get-together I called her back to ask her about the club she mentioned while we were out. She told me the name and questioned why I wanted to know. So I told her that I was planning to go there with my friends. She said she would want to come too if I wanted more people to go, but if I was just going 'with the guys' she'd understand. So I said it was up to her and told her to call ME after she off work. Of course she never did call, and we didn't even end up going to the club I asked her about. None the less though, yesterday in class, she did ask me about. I could tell it was on her mind because I was in my "show her less attention" mode, and out of nowhere (it wasn't even our break) she just asked me how the club was. To which I said it was good but we went to a different one. I guess she must of really been expecting me to call her...
And yes I am left in an akward position. I don't plan to just stop talking to her and sit with my back to her. That would be childish. What I am/was trying is to flirt with her less. Unfortunately as of yesterday that had no effect ... at least not the effect I was looking for.
After we left class yesterday, I left with a friend of hers, because we take the same bus home. Anyway this friend invited me to her birthday get-together this Saturday. Naturaly my first reaction was to see if the girl I'm after is going too, but I held it together, and did not. She asked me if I was dating anybody, because I could bring them, I said I was single, so she said I could bring a friend... Question now is, do I go? Do I ask the girl I was after if she's going? What if she asks me...
Basically, how do I NEXT her in least painful way possible?
As for your reply, unfortunately for me, I agree with all of it. I'm trying to come to terms with "it’s much healthier" class now that I see my posibilities clearly. There is something I didn't bother to explain and that is that I'm not even registered in the class, I show up because it's convinient, I plan to take it next semester, and the extra bonus was I'd get to spend time with her. Now I have two choices to stop coming, which would look dumb. Or come, she'll likely sit beside me and I'll have to twirl my thumbs in my head for a whole 2.5 hours.
Pimp-sicle - I hope she's enjoying the feel of my ball sack.
Yes it is true, I've tried to be available for her, because I wanted to spend time with her. Except last Saturday. After our rollerblading get-together I called her back to ask her about the club she mentioned while we were out. She told me the name and questioned why I wanted to know. So I told her that I was planning to go there with my friends. She said she would want to come too if I wanted more people to go, but if I was just going 'with the guys' she'd understand. So I said it was up to her and told her to call ME after she off work. Of course she never did call, and we didn't even end up going to the club I asked her about. None the less though, yesterday in class, she did ask me about. I could tell it was on her mind because I was in my "show her less attention" mode, and out of nowhere (it wasn't even our break) she just asked me how the club was. To which I said it was good but we went to a different one. I guess she must of really been expecting me to call her...
And yes I am left in an akward position. I don't plan to just stop talking to her and sit with my back to her. That would be childish. What I am/was trying is to flirt with her less. Unfortunately as of yesterday that had no effect ... at least not the effect I was looking for.
After we left class yesterday, I left with a friend of hers, because we take the same bus home. Anyway this friend invited me to her birthday get-together this Saturday. Naturaly my first reaction was to see if the girl I'm after is going too, but I held it together, and did not. She asked me if I was dating anybody, because I could bring them, I said I was single, so she said I could bring a friend... Question now is, do I go? Do I ask the girl I was after if she's going? What if she asks me...
Basically, how do I NEXT her in least painful way possible?
Pimp-sicle
Master Don Juan
Ok first of all what on earth on your thinking taking a class that your not eve registered for? LOL Your basically sitting through a class when you don't have to, then you'll have to sit through it AGAIN when you DO take it.vp171s said:
About the birthday party. Do whatever you want!! If you want to go, GO! But don't base your decision entirely on whether or not the "girl" is going. When you NEXT someone, you completely ex-communicate them from your mind, phone, and social life. I think that should answer your question about asking her if she's going to the party.
I think this girl WAS interested in you in the very beginning. However your AFC behavior and extreme clinginess was a turn off to her and she's got tons of other options, so your on the backburner. It would be smart for you to go meet new girls. Then I can tell you with complete confidence that you really won't give two ****s about a girl who is pro at giving you the run around.
PIMP
el oh el Pimp-sicle
Long story short I'm taking the class because it's the continuation to a class I took in the beginning of the summer. Normally you take the both of them right after the other. I can't because I'll be gone on vacation, thus I'll miss the exam. So I'm going to it to keep it fresh in my mind. It's actually a good set up. I get off work early, go to the gym, then to class.
Anywho back on topic. That's exactly what I plan to do, I plan to base my decision on me, that is why I didn't ask her friend if she would be going.
As for her initial interest in me ... I don't know that I agree with you. I mean she did ditch me on my birthday in the REAL beginning. That was why I've been con-fooking-fused ever since. I may have over done it a bit with the clinginess but I think I've got it under control now. Her interest has been weird. Hence the whole dillema.
I know myself that the fastest track to recovery is to focus attention on someone new. Though that will take more effort.
Theoretically speaking, things aren't as bad as I might make them out to be. In fact, my lack of verbal presence yesterday might have been uncalled for. Between rollerblading on Saturday and yesterday's class, nothing could have possibly taken place to negatively impact my image. Unless of course, the fact that I didn't ask her to go clubbing with us has her upset, though I think it was for the best anyway. I didn't do anything THAT drastic yesterday either. I still talked to her. I just didn't show her any extra attention. Which she MUST of picked up on, because she pulled the EXACT same thing on me. Imagine having your own weapon pointed at you? haha
Anyway, I have class tomorrow again. So I won't try anything new. I'll just be friendly, I won't talk about making plans for the weekend etc. It will be interesting to see if she makes any effort. Our past two "dates" have been set up by me, so in theory if there is any interest left AT ALL, she will make a move right? Otherwise everything will be clear cut.
While I do agree that there is probably nothing left to save, there is a snag. Since I'll be going to class with her for a little while longer, I might as well make it as painless for me as possible.
Long story short I'm taking the class because it's the continuation to a class I took in the beginning of the summer. Normally you take the both of them right after the other. I can't because I'll be gone on vacation, thus I'll miss the exam. So I'm going to it to keep it fresh in my mind. It's actually a good set up. I get off work early, go to the gym, then to class.
Anywho back on topic. That's exactly what I plan to do, I plan to base my decision on me, that is why I didn't ask her friend if she would be going.
As for her initial interest in me ... I don't know that I agree with you. I mean she did ditch me on my birthday in the REAL beginning. That was why I've been con-fooking-fused ever since. I may have over done it a bit with the clinginess but I think I've got it under control now. Her interest has been weird. Hence the whole dillema.
I know myself that the fastest track to recovery is to focus attention on someone new. Though that will take more effort.
Theoretically speaking, things aren't as bad as I might make them out to be. In fact, my lack of verbal presence yesterday might have been uncalled for. Between rollerblading on Saturday and yesterday's class, nothing could have possibly taken place to negatively impact my image. Unless of course, the fact that I didn't ask her to go clubbing with us has her upset, though I think it was for the best anyway. I didn't do anything THAT drastic yesterday either. I still talked to her. I just didn't show her any extra attention. Which she MUST of picked up on, because she pulled the EXACT same thing on me. Imagine having your own weapon pointed at you? haha
Anyway, I have class tomorrow again. So I won't try anything new. I'll just be friendly, I won't talk about making plans for the weekend etc. It will be interesting to see if she makes any effort. Our past two "dates" have been set up by me, so in theory if there is any interest left AT ALL, she will make a move right? Otherwise everything will be clear cut.
While I do agree that there is probably nothing left to save, there is a snag. Since I'll be going to class with her for a little while longer, I might as well make it as painless for me as possible.