"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Orbiting After Rejection?

GuitarOnFire

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I'm not trying to necessarily orbit this girl. I asked for her number in person, she rejected me. I kept my cool and was classy and left. I figured I would be a bigger loser if I stopped communication altogether, at least on her wall. I do not message her directly because I can see that being pointless after a no # rejection.

I figured that removing her from Facebook would be a Beta move but she seems to be purposely ignoring any of my comments that other girls like on her wall. She liked one or two of my posts the day after but has since gone quiet.

What are your thoughts? In the past, I would throw away a # but this girl is on my account so the situation is different.
 
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"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Serenity

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You may not intentionally try to orbit her, but the fact is you are...

You wouldn't be a bigger loser to stop communicating, you'd be a winner for not wasting your time. Why is removing her from Facebook a beta move? You only wanted one thing, you didn't get it so now she has no purpose left on your friends list, it's way more beta to keep her and orbit her.

Woohoo, she spent 0.00001 calorie clicking like on one or two of your posts. Now you're just 999/1000 steps away from getting into her pants. Seriously dude, likes on Facebook means absolutely nothing...

My thoughts? You care way too much about something that will give you nothing in return, you're wasting your time.
NEXT!
 

GuitarOnFire

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You see, I used to think this way. But it comes across as bitter and James Bond would be unphased and not remove a girl from Facebook. #asanexample.

To remove a girl from Facebook appears to me as if I care too much about whether she rejected me or not. It looks weak to me and -- from what I have seen from what women think -- it seems very weak to them too.
 

lizardking82

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You see, I used to think this way. But it comes across as bitter and James Bond would be unphased and not remove a girl from Facebook. #asanexample.

To remove a girl from Facebook appears to me as if I care too much about whether she rejected me or not. It looks weak to me and -- from what I have seen from what women think -- it seems very weak to them too.
You're way to worried with what she might or might not think of your actions. Take the biatch off of any social media, stop spending your time writing posts about her on forums and get on with the girls that are interested in you and give you the puppy eyes because they wanna **** you and treat you like a king. If there happen to be no such girls around you, the reason is simple: you're not appealing enough. The solution? Stop giving a **** about what other people think of your actions, get better, and you will not even use Facebook to get girls anymore, they will come to you themselves.
 

GuitarOnFire

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This is all bull****. I have girls walking by me that look at the ground, a girl that has been chasing me for like 15 years, etc. I went after a 8/10 and she knows a lot of people in my hometown and where she moved to. If you want to ruin your reputation amongst many people, go ahead.

Burning bridges when you can use your mind is stupid. Seriously.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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lizardking82

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This is all bull****. I have girls walking by me that look at the ground, a girl that has been chasing me for like 15 years.

Burning bridges when you can use your mind is stupid. Seriously.
You're either a troll or you're way too stupid.
 

lizardking82

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I had my hopes this forum had improved in my hiatus but apparently not.
No, mate. The forum is fine, you have not improved LOL. I am telling you it does not even matter what she thinks that you took her off social media. Do you really think that taking them off social media "burns the bridge" LOL if it does that, there was no bridge to begin with. If she wants to **** you, she will get over you taking her off social media. Oh, but if she hasn't got high IL, of course she will be "hearbroken" that you took her off social media LOL you registered in 2001 and you come back at 2017 and you wanna tell me I am the stupid one for telling you you should not mind what women think of your actions that YOU wanna do?
 

GuitarOnFire

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Oh, of course I spent 16 years not approaching girls as you seem to think. I have improved and realized that extremism and ego-satiation is not the way to go. You might learn one day and hopefully mature because you have already lost the game by losing your self-control brah.
 

lizardking82

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Oh, of course I spent 16 years not approaching girls as you seem to think. I have improved and realized that extremism and ego-satiation is not the way to go. You might learn one day and hopefully mature because you have already lost the game by losing your self-control brah.
How did I lose my self control? Care to explain?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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GuitarOnFire

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I believe I have improved. Got married, survived a BPD disaster, barely avoided jail and didn't go insane (much).

The other night though.. walked into the bar solo unintentionally, opened 4 different groups after being in the gym earlier, flirted with said-girl, got lots of IOI's from her, chilled solo, went for the # even though I was exhausted, she rejected, kept my cool and left. I'm sure she blabbed all about it to her 20-30 friends behind me after.

Everyone should be constantly improving. It is not an insult but a direction. What works for me (quiet, charming, confident type) wouldn't work for most of my friends, I am sure.
 

lizardking82

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I believe I have improved. Got married, survived a BPD disaster, barely avoided jail and didn't go insane (much).

The other night though.. walked into the bar solo unintentionally, opened 4 different groups after being in the gym earlier, flirted with said-girl, got lots of IOI's from her, chilled solo, went for the # even though I was exhausted, she rejected, kept my cool and left. I'm sure she blabbed all about it to her 20-30 friends behind me after.

Everyone should be constantly improving. It is not an insult but a direction. What works for me (quiet, charming, confident type) wouldn't work for most of my friends, I am sure.
And I am happy to hear that. But here's the thing, my advice was not meant in an ill way. I was just telling you that it does not really matter this whole Facebook thing. What matters is keeping your frame and if taking her off helps you keep your frame better, there is nothing wrong with that and **** what she thinks about that. Do you think she is out there thinkin' "oh, how bad he must feel that I did not give him the number?". They don't care, man. And neither should we. You're right when you say everyone should keep on improving and I think (you don't need to comply or agree) that starting to give less of a **** as to what they think about your actions (especially when you have not banged!) is a good improvement that will serve you well.

But when you ask for advice and then call what I say "bull****"...
 
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wifehunter

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She declined your advances, you were not well recieved. And, you still hang around?
Do you hate yourself? Have some dignity!

Or you could keep stalking her, until she gets a restraining order against you!

Fun stuff!!!:p
 

TheMonkeyKing

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Number one, James Bond doesn't have facebook. Even if he does, he only uses it for trolling his enemies, not picking up girls.

Number two, you should be engaging with at least half a dozen women at a time, even if you rate them differently. You have acute oneitis, so get out and meet other girls rather than pining over one rejection. You're acting creepy and weird.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Roober

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I really don't see a reason to remove her. Just ignore and don't "unfollow" her posts (a feature where their posts don't show on your feed). One day, she may see something you post, and think.. "gosh, I wonder what he is up to" and drop you a line... you chit chat and go for the date.

You are much to busy to like her posts and you won't even be able to see them anyway, so it's all good
 
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sazc

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There's definitely two ways to look at this.

One, if you unfriend hey immediately do you look trifling? Will it make you appear hurt by the rejection? If your larger worry is about that, then just don't comment/like for a few weeks/a month/ until you feel comfortable, and then unfriend.

The other way to look at this is, you friended her so you could get to know her on an intimate level. She's not interested in that. Therefore she serves no purpose to you. Unfriend.

Your call as to how you want to handle it.

IMO, if you stay friends, don't make comments, don't like anything, no activity. Activity is attention, attention is orbiting and rewarding. Rewarding her for rejecting you is beta, and just plain silly.

Good luck.
 

dude99

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I'm not trying to necessarily orbit this girl. I asked for her number in person, she rejected me. I kept my cool and was classy and left. I figured I would be a bigger loser if I stopped communication altogether, at least on her wall. I do not message her directly because I can see that being pointless after a no # rejection.

I figured that removing her from Facebook would be a Beta move but she seems to be purposely ignoring any of my comments that other girls like on her wall. She liked one or two of my posts the day after but has since gone quiet.

What are your thoughts? In the past, I would throw away a # but this girl is on my account so the situation is different.
Just live your life and do your thing. She isn't acknowledging your comments or anything because of what i call the mental lock and she now has it in her head now that she knows you like her, she has it in her head you will always be there.

What i call the mental lock is this. I learned years ago that when a certain girl learns or believes you like them, they think no matter what YOU ALWAYS WILL. These girls usually turn out to be the biggest waste of time and the rudest to you because in their head, they own you.

Just live your life. I would stop commenting in her wall because that is feeding her "you are still on the string." Fall out of her orbit 100% if you mean anything to her at all she will notice. She will question. If you don't mean anything to her you won't hear a thing. Then after a few months then remove her from your friends list. Live your life.

Not everyone is meant to stay in your life.
 

Serenity

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You see, I used to think this way. But it comes across as bitter and James Bond would be unphased and not remove a girl from Facebook. #asanexample.

To remove a girl from Facebook appears to me as if I care too much about whether she rejected me or not. It looks weak to me and -- from what I have seen from what women think -- it seems very weak to them too.
It seems weak to give a fvck about seeming weak. It's not bitter, it's called keeping your friends list tidy.

I would rather have it seem like I care too much than to do as you do now and ACTUALLY care too much.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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