OPINIONS: Can a Man (Married) and a Woman

[Miss]

who's not married be friends if the man tells her he has feelings of friendship and strong lust for her?

Is that a friendship or an accident waiting to happen?

 

[Evangenlion]

he wants a **** buddy that is not his wife.
mentioning friendship is saying he doesn't want to get involved.
mentioning lust is saying he wants to bed u.

depends really. do u also want to bed him? or just be friends?

anyway, i see bad bad bad coming

 

[Miss]

...

I do. But I won't.

 

[MacAvoy]

I think you'll resent yourself a lot LESS if you just do it, get it over with, that way, its not an accident down the road.

 

[cinephile]

No.

While I am not saying that they universally opposed to each other, at one point, you will have to make the decision of either one or the other.

From the Man's point of view, it goes like this. I already have friends. So losing one is not that big of a deal.

 

[GirlCrazy]

I was in the exact same situation, with a woman who goes by 'Miss' no less.

I broke it off before it turned into a sex thing.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

At the risk of getting a slew of "not in my case" responses, when will both guys and girls understand that intergender friendships are never possible until intimacy has been resolved? Unless you have plans on sleeping with the guy, the answer is no.

Realistically, what degree of 'freindship' do you think you could ultimately have? In otherwords, honestly visualize what sort of frinedship you'd think would be ideal and ask yourself if you really think it's possible. In this instance I'd say definitely not. The guy want's to fvck you and not his wife, that sexual anxiety will always persist until one of you relents by either giving in to a made up 'accident' or you or he gives up in futility. Don't kid yourself, and don't play 'friends', you wont be in the end.

Follow this 'friendship' to it's logical conclusion, what would you do as 'friends'? Would you do the same things you do with your same sex friends, would he be doing the same things as well for his? Even in the best of circumstance intergender frienships are a farce until intimacy is resolved. Imagine you were the woman he's married to, would you think if went off to a movie or talked for any length of time with his 'woman friend' in favor of spending time with you that you could accept it as platonic? Women know this, and they're all too happy to entertain guy's stupid efforts to get into their pants when it serves their need for attention. That is until they're the ones in the LTR, then all that pretense they found so useful while single flys out the window, because she's used the same 'friendship' angle to keep more than a few fish on the stringer herself.

 

[Wyldfire]

If either the man or woman are attracted to each other there can't be a simple platonic friendship. Men and women can only be strictly platonic friends is they aren't attracted to each other at all.

You can have great friendships when there is mutual attraction...but there is always sexual energy there and it will eventually lead to sex.

If one person is attracted and the other isn't the one who is attracted will always want more and be hurt when it never leads to more. No friendship can develop here that is a genuine friendship.

If neither person is attracted to each other then you can have a good platonic friendship.

 

[Miss]

...

McAvoy - Get it over with?? Did you read the part about "he's married?"

Rollo - I got a lot from your post. I agree.

It's just hard cos I work with him.

 

[Miss]

oh! ...

What's an "LTR?"

Lover that rolls?

Loser to ride?

 

[SAYNO]

Long Term Relationship

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Re: ...

Originally posted by Miss
It's just hard cos I work with him.

You know in the books I read this is called sexual harassment. Companies spend millions to avoid just this sort of thing. If it's becoming difficult you may need to address it with your employer, unless of course he is your employer. How old is this guy (and you)?

 

[Zonder]

be careful

Try to show him you're indifferent to him. Otherwise he'll keep trying and at a time when you're down (just out of relationship, or another bad personal chrisis, or you've had a little too much to drink) he'll take advantage of your "friendship" to do what he wants. I agree that he's using the "friend" thing just to be around you until the time when you're in a suggestive mood. I've seen it happen all around me.

 

[SAYNO]

Re: Re: ...

Originally posted by Rollo Tomassi
You know in the books I read this is called sexual harassment. Companies spend millions to avoid just this sort of thing. If it's becoming difficult you may need to address it with your employer, unless of course he is your employer. How old is this guy (and you)?

HUH?

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Oh yeah, in some instances all a woman has to say is "You're making me feel uncomfortable" and that's more than enough to get the guy fired or take a company to court. This is exactly why I never advocate dating women with whom you work, there's just too much opportunity for damage both personally and professionally. If this guy is a co-worker that has made a pass at or so much as made verbal advances towards her she can go the harassment route. Not saying its justified, but situations that are even less innoccuous than this have been the retirements for more than a few women.

 

[SAYNO]

Originally posted by Rollo Tomassi
Oh yeah, in some instances all a woman has to say is "You're making me feel uncomfortable" and that's more than enough to get the guy fired or take a company to court. This is exactly why I never advocate dating women with whom you work, there's just too much opportunity for damage both personally and professionally. If this guy is a co-worker that has made a pass at or so much as made verbal advances towards her she can go the harassment route. Not saying its justified, but situations that are even less innoccuous than this have been the retirements for more than a few women.

Okay, cool, but come on man there are enough frivolous lawsuits out there without us advising these women to do this. If you read her post closely she's actually interested in this fellow and wants to fvck him.

You threw me for a loop with this post.

Sure somebody hasn't hijacked your acount.



Sayno'

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Nah, nothing like that. I wasn't advocating it, just pointing out that if and when she LJBFs the guy the dude will probably be persistent in playing friends and it might get ugly.