"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Opinion on my body proportions

bish0p

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 1, 2009
Messages
383
Reaction score
8
What's up, gents. Moved this from the discussion section.

Anyways, I'm trying to get an idea on whether or not my proportions look okay as I have not been getting as many IOI's since gaining more muscle. I'm thinking it's because at 5'8" (I'm short which I'm sure is not helping, as well as being ethnic but whatever), I may be looking too big for my height. Or maybe my perspective is skewed and I'm not big enough for my height still.

It's getting kind of frustrating going out and not getting any kind of attention as I'm not too keen on doing cold approaches without some decent eye contact.

Edit: Also, the arms look weird because I had to paint some tattoos out.

Body Type.jpg
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 14, 2014
Messages
5,747
Reaction score
2,964
Age
27
Location
Right behind you
There is such a thing as getting too big. I mean your arms are bigger than your head dude, Jesus. I tend to find that chicks dig the more lean look rather than super jacked look tbh.
 

bish0p

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 1, 2009
Messages
383
Reaction score
8
There is such a thing as getting too big. I mean your arms are bigger than your head dude, Jesus. I tend to find that chicks dig the more lean look rather than super jacked look tbh.
Thanks, dude. This is good and bad news for me. Good because I've been wanting to go on a cut and get rid of extra body fat around my hips and lower pecs...but bad news because I have yet to hit my goals in the gym. Still though, I started thinking the same thing and I really wasn't trying to get too big. I'm at 164 lbs now, so I think I'll go down to around 150 and just hover between that and 155.

Cutting out the creatine will help reduce some of the weight immediately as well.
 

HoneyHitter

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2006
Messages
496
Reaction score
202
Age
45
Skinny legs are probably the issue.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Infern0

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 11, 2015
Messages
1,637
Reaction score
1,462
I don't see a problem here, i wouldn't get ANY bigger though, you are at the top end of lean and asthetic, any more you'll be in meathead territory.

Do your cut then switch to maintainance as your goal.
 

bish0p

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 1, 2009
Messages
383
Reaction score
8
I don't see a problem here, i wouldn't get ANY bigger though, you are at the top end of lean and asthetic, any more you'll be in meathead territory.

Do your cut then switch to maintainance as your goal.
Thanks, man. Honestly, I'm glad I posted this now....I felt a bit silly at first (it is a shallow post), but I was like whatever, I needed some outside perspective as I was originally trying to get bigger because I thought I looked too small based on what I see in the mirror, but that would have been a mistake.
 

guru1000

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 20, 2007
Messages
5,299
Reaction score
4,338
What is your height, weight?

1) Your biceps (and perhaps tris) are proportionally too big in comparison to the rest of your physique;
2) Your neck and traps are proportionally too small in comparison to the rest of your physique;
3) You need more mass on your upper chest or less mass on your delts for equilibrium.

Your good attributes are:
  • You already have enough lean muscle mass for the ideal DJ fighting weight;
  • You are close to ideal bodyfat at 12%;
  • Your current diet is effective, as you are lean.

What You Need to Improve Upon

  • Do not work biceps (or triceps) anymore;
  • Incorporate more or greater intensity with your trap and neck exercises.
 
Last edited:

amazingswayze

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 26, 2015
Messages
764
Reaction score
203
Location
New York, USA
You look pretty big, especially for your weight. Lean though, with those veins. At first glance I would say you pass the test for initial attraction. If you get literally zero interest in public maybe it's time to think about your demeanor. Have you tried Tinder? Post some of your pics there and see what kinds of reactions you get.
 

bish0p

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 1, 2009
Messages
383
Reaction score
8
What is your height, weight?

1) Your biceps (and perhaps tris) are proportionally too big in comparison to the rest of your physique;
2) Your neck and traps are proportionally too small in comparison to the rest of your physique;
3) You need more mass on your upper chest or less mass on your delts for equilibrium.

Your good attributes are:
  • You already have enough lean muscle mass for the ideal DJ fighting weight;
  • You are close to ideal bodyfat at 12%;
  • Your current diet is effective, as you are lean.

What You Need to Improve Upon

  • Do not work biceps (or triceps) anymore;
  • Incorporate more or greater intensity with your trap and neck exercises.
Thanks for the in-depth post. I don't know why my arms got so much bigger than other parts as I actually decreased the amount of exercises I was doing for them these past few months. I'll cut them out completely for now though and just do more compound exercises twice a week instead. I just started adding in trap exercises as well, so I'll increase that too. Also height is 5'8" and weight hovering around 161-165. I think the creatine I'm taking is affecting my look as well, so I'm going to cut that out too and just focus on getting to around 150-155lbs. I'm just concerned about looking too skinny again like I used to when I was younger.

On the plus side, I hit 225 on bench again today for the first time in 2 years and I was planning on cutting after that anyway. So, I'm kind of right on point.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

bish0p

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 1, 2009
Messages
383
Reaction score
8
You look pretty big, especially for your weight. Lean though, with those veins. At first glance I would say you pass the test for initial attraction. If you get literally zero interest in public maybe it's time to think about your demeanor. Have you tried Tinder? Post some of your pics there and see what kinds of reactions you get.
Thanks....admittedly, I've always had a ****ty demeanor when I go out most times. My attitude is up and down a lot and I'm trying to work on it...like I'll be in a good mood all day, but as soon as I get out of my car to approach, my mood drops like crazy... I figure working out and keeping at it for the rest of my life instead of dropping it after a few months will help with that. I was getting some nice attention a couple of months ago, but I got a bit greedy with working out and put on too much weight.

Unfortunately, online dating is not an option for me right now due to being in an LTR.
 

Milano

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2016
Messages
357
Reaction score
251
Age
38
Lol you have nothing to worry about dude, perfect fukboi look. As for comments on the neck, this is hugely genetics as I have a skinny neck myself and it barely changes if you plan on staying lean. You wont find a guy with a pencil neck transforming to hulk size neck at least not without insane amounts of steroids and HGH or having high fat levels.
 

guru1000

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 20, 2007
Messages
5,299
Reaction score
4,338
Overall, all the hard work--that is, building lean muscle mass--is behind you. Now you must focus on aesthetics.

No shame in your issue. I have a similar problem where my triceps supersede my physique. I haven't done triceps exercises in over five years! The last two years, I cut out bench press entirely to avoid hitting tris secondary.

Cut out the creatine entirely. This is what creates the infamous bloat in your overdeveloped bis. The goal is to keep super lean in ALL your muscle groups--especially the most important muscle group, your facial aesthetics.

Are you on anything besides creatine?
 

resilient

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2005
Messages
1,636
Reaction score
1,366
You seem okay, bish0p. I wouldn't go about gaining more. I'm 5'8" as well. However, I'm at 147.6 lbs, 7% bf right now, so I'm looking to gain more weight. I'm aiming to go up to around the same ballpark 153~158 range.

If you need hard eye contact to approach or your mood gets you nervous about approaching, then focus on talking to everyone young and old within reach when your out and about. Even if it's a simple, "hello" nod "hey" it's a start. Better to have some kind of human interaction, then just ignoring. Build from there. Also, having situational openers helps, especially if you and a stranger observe something happening at the same time and you give each other a simultaneous amused look -- easy to comment and lead into a conversation from there.
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 14, 2014
Messages
5,747
Reaction score
2,964
Age
27
Location
Right behind you
Thanks, dude. This is good and bad news for me. Good because I've been wanting to go on a cut and get rid of extra body fat around my hips and lower pecs...but bad news because I have yet to hit my goals in the gym. Still though, I started thinking the same thing and I really wasn't trying to get too big. I'm at 164 lbs now, so I think I'll go down to around 150 and just hover between that and 155.

Cutting out the creatine will help reduce some of the weight immediately as well.
Yeah no problem man. I looked again. I was wondering if maybe your chest is disproportionately bigger than your back because it seems to me that you've kinda got a slight hunched look. Maybe it's just your general posture, but it could be something to look into.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

homie

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2017
Messages
112
Reaction score
52
Age
32
Damn you are good, man. Great physique.
As for IOI's, maybe you don't dress well, try wearing something nice and catchy, it actually helps more than muscles (as I noticed, girls don't really dig that), not to mention your attitude and all that.
 

bish0p

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 1, 2009
Messages
383
Reaction score
8
Thanks for the assist, guys...ya'll are cool as ****. I know what to work on now.

guru1000: I'm only taking creatine...but yesterday was my last day on it. I have been working off and on for 15 years though (mostly off), so I think that plays apart too.
 

Alexander Thomas

New Member
Joined
May 15, 2017
Messages
8
Reaction score
0
Age
36
Start the measuring point from where the last proportion was supposed to end, rather than where it did end.

Points to measure:
  1. Head length.
  2. The base of the chin to mid bust (bust peak).
  3. Bust peak to natural waist (that bit that dips in between your ribcage and your hip bone, not necessarily where your belly button is).
  4. Natural waist to leg break (where the leg bends at the hip, normally around 1″ or 2.5cm above the crotch).
  5. Leg break to mid-knee (this is 2 head lengths).
  6. Mid-knee to ground (2 head lengths).
Then measure from:
  1. Top of head to leg break
  2. Leg break to the ground
 

marmel75

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
7,175
Reaction score
5,571
You desperately need to work on your legs. As in desperately, I mean I would start training legs 2 or 3 times a week to upper body once a week.
 

Midnight_Oil

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 1, 2010
Messages
72
Reaction score
1
How are you only 164????

I am 200+, your height, not nearly as lean, my arms are about half your size, & I bench 400+.

I mean you look great, but I'd swear that you were 210+.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Top