Openness and mystery

[Fruitbat]

One thing I am trying to improve is to stop talking about myself, my experiences, my interests etc.

One rule of How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie) is to not speak of oneself and focus on others.

A lot of the content on here has referenced being a mystery and not giving too much away.

On the other hand, if you don’t open up I fear you will find it hard to find others with similar interests.

There is an art to this. Has anyone worked on this or have anything to add to this idea?

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

I've always been a natural socializing, have other friends who are naturals. Naturals can't tell you how to do it cause it comes naturally. But one things I've noticed about me and other friends, regarding "not to speak of one self and focused on others" is to have a GENUINE desire to know something about the other person.

Example, I saw this older guy in the gym prob about 50, and I told him "hey man you look jacked as fvck, how old are you? I wanna have your physique when I'm your age" and then we spend about 15 mins talking about routines and supplements, for me it was genuine and not forced cause that's something I'm passionate about, the gym.

I guess its to have a genuine common interest with the person, and the convo will flow without problem.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

There is an art to this. Has anyone worked on this or have anything to add to this idea?

Yes. Be interested and be interesting. Use suspense to create anticipation. Live without expectations.

 

[Mertz09]

Listening!!!! When out with a date (especially the 1st few) Listen to her.... let her tell you about herself. Women luv to talk about themselves...I find this fascinating. And I listen.
"Women don't want full disclosure" Only give up what you feel comfortable with. Me well I go with the flow....

 

[BillyPilgrim]

One thing I am trying to improve is to stop talking about myself, my experiences, my interests etc.

One rule of How to Win Friends and Influence People (Dale Carnegie) is to not speak of oneself and focus on others.

A lot of the content on here has referenced being a mystery and not giving too much away.

On the other hand, if you don’t open up I fear you will find it hard to find others with similar interests.

There is an art to this. Has anyone worked on this or have anything to add to this idea?

If you damage your voice you're automatically limited in how much you can speak. I hear autoerotic asphyxiation can help with this.

 

[Fruitbat]

If you damage your voice you're automatically limited in how much you can speak. I hear autoerotic asphyxiation can help with this.

well, I regularly go for the amyl nitrite soaked orange in the mouth while jacking it in woman’s underwear and it’s still an issue

 

[PlatoPacks23]

something I learned is that you don't want to talk about yourself BUT allow the other person to paint a (vague) picture in their head of how they want to see you. Don't force the "THIS IS WHO I AM" bull**** on them