What is the best way to open a woman when you cold approach? Is a simple Hi the best way to go? How do most of you guys start a conversation with a complete stranger on a cold approach? I'm not having any success in even getting them to talk to me.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Opening basics
- Thread starter Das
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Igetit!
Moderator
Been here three years,and you're asking questions about the basics?
WOW.
Well,like they say-I guess it's better late than never.
You say that you're not having any luck getting women to talk to you with whatever it is you're currently doing. Well, could you give a description of how you try to approach women right now? Maybe we can take a look at your current method to see what the deal is,and why you're having problems.
WOW.
Well,like they say-I guess it's better late than never.
You say that you're not having any luck getting women to talk to you with whatever it is you're currently doing. Well, could you give a description of how you try to approach women right now? Maybe we can take a look at your current method to see what the deal is,and why you're having problems.
BongDuy
Master Don Juan
If you're at a party, class, club, with friends, get next to her and ask " you want a piece of gum?"
Well I joined up, and was going to start asking questions and learning, and I got distracted by life and completly forgot about the site. Then I hit rock bottom, searched the net, found the site again asked a couple of questions, then I had to deal with a mess of professional problems for the last year or so, but they are squared away now so thats where the three years went.
Lets take yesterday for example. My buddy invited me to his company picnic. We meet up with some of his friends from work. I'm not really friends with them, but we all get along pretty well. Anyways theres a girl with them that isn't hooked up with anyone. (I found that part out later) I walked up to her to introduce myself " HI my names George" and I hold out my hand and nothing. No answer or acknowledgement that I even was in front of her. Just left me there hanging. So I'm a little upset and go "okay" and just leave her there. So anyway later to wrap it up Igor, my buddy's friend, and I were talking later and he suggests that I talk to this girl and he points out the same girl that blew me off earlier in the day. And thats how I found out she is single, and according to Igor at least is looking. I just chalked it up to her being a c**t and had fun with the rest of the group we were with.
I've tried other things like complimenting what they were wearing or their hair and stuff but I can never get them to answer me back. Sometimes they smile sometimes the give me an "OMG how dare you talk to me" look, but I can NEVER get them to open up a little bit.
Lets take yesterday for example. My buddy invited me to his company picnic. We meet up with some of his friends from work. I'm not really friends with them, but we all get along pretty well. Anyways theres a girl with them that isn't hooked up with anyone. (I found that part out later) I walked up to her to introduce myself " HI my names George" and I hold out my hand and nothing. No answer or acknowledgement that I even was in front of her. Just left me there hanging. So I'm a little upset and go "okay" and just leave her there. So anyway later to wrap it up Igor, my buddy's friend, and I were talking later and he suggests that I talk to this girl and he points out the same girl that blew me off earlier in the day. And thats how I found out she is single, and according to Igor at least is looking. I just chalked it up to her being a c**t and had fun with the rest of the group we were with.
I've tried other things like complimenting what they were wearing or their hair and stuff but I can never get them to answer me back. Sometimes they smile sometimes the give me an "OMG how dare you talk to me" look, but I can NEVER get them to open up a little bit.
Depends on what kind of "cold approach" you mean. A stranger in the street or at a store in the day time is different to one at a party or picnic, or to one at a club.
I'll give a little advice on cold approaching women you don't know and aren't associated with in any way, and who are just out there minding their own business (like a woman walking on the footpath or at a shop.)
The best way to start a conversation in that situation is with a comment of some kind. For example, if they're at a shop and have a bag full of 20 bananas, make a comment about it, or ask about it. At a shop, if you're looking at a shelf and a cute woman walks past, ask her which sauce would be best with whatever meal. Not only will it start a conversation, you should be able to work out how good of a cook she is
.
If you can't find something to comment on, or if you're walking past her, ask if you can get her opinion on something (works well if you're just walking past each other in the street). It's non-threatening, simple, and does a good job of getting women to stop and talk to you. Make it something sincere. Once you've got their opinion, introduce yourself and go on from there as usual.
I'll give a little advice on cold approaching women you don't know and aren't associated with in any way, and who are just out there minding their own business (like a woman walking on the footpath or at a shop.)
The best way to start a conversation in that situation is with a comment of some kind. For example, if they're at a shop and have a bag full of 20 bananas, make a comment about it, or ask about it. At a shop, if you're looking at a shelf and a cute woman walks past, ask her which sauce would be best with whatever meal. Not only will it start a conversation, you should be able to work out how good of a cook she is
.If you can't find something to comment on, or if you're walking past her, ask if you can get her opinion on something (works well if you're just walking past each other in the street). It's non-threatening, simple, and does a good job of getting women to stop and talk to you. Make it something sincere. Once you've got their opinion, introduce yourself and go on from there as usual.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Poonani Maker
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2007
- Messages
- 4,392
- Reaction score
- 927
I interact with a multitude of women Everyday. What I say is a simple, and maybe with a handshake, "Hi, how are you??" or "Hello, how's it going?" or "How do you do?" I have standard "Fine" "Pretty good" "The weather's good" "What do you do with all your time?" followups.
i don't know...very strange that i alwys have the "hi" or a nice compliment work. in fact, compliment works great i think. hi also works.
one good opener is "what's the time?" and after getting it, just turn you back like you are going to leave but then suddenly turn around and say "actually that was an excuse to talk with you, i'm suman" (put your name in there)
opening basics:
situationally relevent
not coming on too strong
body language
don't get her sure about whether you want it or not
one good opener is "what's the time?" and after getting it, just turn you back like you are going to leave but then suddenly turn around and say "actually that was an excuse to talk with you, i'm suman" (put your name in there)
opening basics:
situationally relevent
not coming on too strong
body language
don't get her sure about whether you want it or not
Poonani Maker
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2007
- Messages
- 4,392
- Reaction score
- 927
This is a helpful video, to me, on opening http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_PjTW4d95k