"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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online vs real life?

jlr12584

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i have a very interesting question to ask and i'd really like to understand whats going on. Online, i seem to find myself being complimented extremely by women ( i have a webcam) and to show that i have a list of things said by all diff girls

littlekimmy_2004: I think i have just found the cutest guy ever
supergirl_819: wow wee ur hot
ae_babe22: ur hot
xxdixiegirlxx21 xxdixiegirlxx21 (8:59:59 PM): ok then ur ****in hot
(9:32:11 PM): no you are so cute
lllll_fantasy_lllll: ur damn hot urself
blondiebtch69: your cute
louisvuittonlexi: hey sexy
louisvuittonlexi: your really cute
louisvuittonlexi: and have sxy eyes
dazsmith_1: **** ur hot
jennygrl1002 : ur so cute
stoneyboi16: hey UR HOT
seresone_member: man u should be a model
seresone_member: you looks just like one
jennywilli2000: damn cute

however in real life, i often dont even get looked at as i pass by ( like i dont exist or something ) and no girls ever come up and approach me or tell me this. whats going on here?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Delta Male

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This is an interesting topic. Here's why you get compliments online and not in real life:

Most likely, you are very good looking as in you have a good body and face. This gets you the online compliments. HOWEVER, in the real world, girls don't just judge if you're hot based on looks, they also judge it based on your vibe and presence.

This is something that women can tell without even talking to you. Your tone of voice, how you carry yourself, how you walk, how confident you look, and all the other things that make up your vibe. And, if you give off a good vibe, women will verbalize that as "that guy is hot," even if you don't have objectively the best face and body. However, if you exude insecurity, have bad body language/fvcked up voice, then girls will not be turned on by you and not think you are hot, even if in a picture you look good.

I know this because I get compliments on my looks from women all the time in real life. But, when I put my picture on hotornot.com, I got a 4.2 or some **** like that. But that's ok...because all the hot women are in the real world, not in some chat room. :D

-Dan

Dan, the cool RSI intern
http://www.rapidsocialimpact.com
 

TheInfamousCBear

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Thats why Im not starting to like online...For one, I already know that my body language, vibe, presence, etc. is the thing that gets girls attracted to me, so already that part is out...Plus I hate talking with women on AIM or the phone, its better for me if I can see these girls in person cause then I could tell where its heading and Im wayyy more funny in real life then on the phone or AIM...Plus I need to see the girl in person to see how she moves, talks, reacts to me, etc...Real life is still the best way...
 

Carioca123

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Real life is the only way. You cant get laid through a pc.
 

frivolousz21

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exactly! the online thing is best suited for new comers to the game.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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spider_007

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could it be that the reall gurls have higher standards then the desperate fat gurls online.:D
 

yunghova35

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Originally posted by Delta Male
This is an interesting topic. Here's why you get compliments online and not in real life:

Most likely, you are very good looking as in you have a good body and face. This gets you the online compliments. HOWEVER, in the real world, girls don't just judge if you're hot based on looks, they also judge it based on your vibe and presence.

This is something that women can tell without even talking to you. Your tone of voice, how you carry yourself, how you walk, how confident you look, and all the other things that make up your vibe. And, if you give off a good vibe, women will verbalize that as "that guy is hot," even if you don't have objectively the best face and body. However, if you exude insecurity, have bad body language/fvcked up voice, then girls will not be turned on by you and not think you are hot, even if in a picture you look good.

I know this because I get compliments on my looks from women all the time in real life. But, when I put my picture on hotornot.com, I got a 4.2 or some **** like that. But that's ok...because all the hot women are in the real world, not in some chat room. :D

-Dan

Dan, the cool RSI intern
http://www.rapidsocialimpact.com
No only that, but online people say things more freely

Think about it when your online you say bold statements controversial ones that are all based on how you feel, but since there is less risk you can say them anyway. In the real world no one wants to get embarrassed or rejected so we keep a lot of things to our self.

So don’t think that these chicks are lying or your not hot, its just the fact that many woman are too shy as a person to say this without the security of a pc screen.
 

jlr12584

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nah some of these girls are hot man, they have webcams too so its not like i have no idea who i am looking at
 

Cheat_LBJ

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Originally posted by jlr12584
nah some of these girls are hot man, they have webcams too so its not like i have no idea who i am looking at
It's still not the same. You are both hiding behind a computer.

And, the fact of the matter is, if she was hot and worth it, she'd be ****ing some guy instead of sitting on her computer.

-LB
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by jlr12584
...however in real life, i often dont even get looked at as i pass by ( like i dont exist or something ) and no girls ever come up and approach me or tell me this. whats going on here?
What happens when you approach them?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

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