Online Profile Review

[al77]

Originally posted by CraigMack
Why would you want to bring up anything negative???
It would be better to only talk about positive things and put a positive spin on everything in your life. Women love positive up beat men. You started your ad with "I'll give you not very positive bits first,"

Well.. what negative things you have seen there? Anything specifically negative besides my "not positive"?

Yes, I am not an up beat guy, so I wanted to convey this somehow...that I can be not positive too.

Anyway, I revamped it...here is a new version:
----
I don't do karaoke, but i'm a damn good singer - in the shower! I think it comes with love for art, so occasionally I doodle naked souls on a napkin. I have tried rock climbing and I love the feeling of being on top of the steady earth. I prefer Rock over Pop (or soda). I am an honestly witty man who grew up in Europe, with smoldering hazel green eyes and an accent though I don't sound like Terminator or James Bond. No tv+beer+sports combo included, I rather prefer inquisitive dialog while sipping a glass of good Cabernet. Happy thoughts, excellent conversation, great times: this is me. Who are you?
---
What do you think?

 

[Broham]

Originally posted by al77
Well.. what negative things you have seen there? Anything specifically negative besides my "not positive"?

Yes, I am not an up beat guy, so I wanted to convey this somehow...that I can be not positive too.

Anyway, I revamped it...here is a new version:
----
I don't do karaoke, but i'm a damn good singer - in the shower! I think it comes with love for art, so occasionally I doodle naked souls on a napkin. I have tried rock climbing and I love the feeling of being on top of the steady earth. I prefer Rock over Pop (or soda). I am an honestly witty man who grew up in Europe, with smoldering hazel green eyes and an accent though I don't sound like Terminator or James Bond. No tv+beer+sports combo included, I rather prefer inquisitive dialog while sipping a glass of good Cabernet. Happy thoughts, excellent conversation, great times: this is me. Who are you?
---
What do you think?

Pretty good man. I'd drop the first line though, way too common. Who doesn't sing in the shower? Maybe write something like "I don't do karaoke but a few lucky souls have heard my smooth Barry White-esque tones." Have fun with it and who cares if its not true.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by Broham
Pretty good man. I'd drop the first line though, way too common. Who doesn't sing in the shower? Maybe write something like "I don't do karaoke but a few lucky souls have heard my smooth Barry White-esque tones." Have fun with it and who cares if its not true.

Well.. shower singing is common, I was not sure it is common to admit it. "I don't do karaoke but I damn good at singing a few themes under the hot shower"

Just an observation: "a few lucky souls have heard my smooth Barry White-esque tones"..Those "a few lucky souls" in teh very first line for a smart decent gals will read "a player, who is into SEX only!" and she'll run away.
For example originally it was "naked women" but I opted for more smooth and sort f mysterious "naked souls" instead....

By the way, did you get the impression that I am NOT from UK or Austria? Since some gal emailed me "Hey, English accent is hot!"

 

[iveyleeger]

The #'s

You don't seem English or Autrian to me, Al. But followup if she emailed you.

Check out this article:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/05/29/AR2005052901071.html

The chubby dude in the pic went on 60 dates in one year via Match.com. Do you believe that number? That is more than one date per week . . .

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Re: The #'s

Originally posted by iveyleeger
You don't seem English or Autrian to me, Al. But followup if she emailed you.

Check out this article:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/05/29/AR2005052901071.html

The chubby dude in the pic went on 60 dates in one year via Match.com. Do you believe that number? That is more than one date per week . . .

A date or two a week is very easy to do if you don't have many requirements for the women you date and if you are willing to take women out to dinner. The majority of women online are willing to meet you for a free dinner even if their IL isn't very high.

 

[marge s.]

Originally posted by al77
I don't do karaoke, but i'm a damn good singer - in the shower! I think it comes with love for art, so occasionally I doodle naked souls on a napkin. I have tried rock climbing and I love the feeling of being on top of the steady earth. I prefer Rock over Pop (or soda). I am an honestly witty man who grew up in Europe, with smoldering hazel green eyes and an accent though I don't sound like Terminator or James Bond. No tv+beer+sports combo included, I rather prefer inquisitive dialog while sipping a glass of good Cabernet. Happy thoughts, excellent conversation, great times: this is me. Who are you?
---
What do you think?

Remember that women get lots more responses on those dating sites than men do. So if your profile is weak in the first two sentences you won't be able to compete (unless your pic ist just absolutely stunning!!)

My first impulse was to stop reading after the first sentence (boooring!!) but I continued and found the rest really good. I think you left it open where you're from, which is good, as it gives a women the possibility for questions when she wants to contact you (although my first language isn't english. So I might have missed some finetues). Anyway, I think it's good - but I would skip the first sentence. It's too would-like-funny.

Good luck!
Marge

 

[al77]

Re: The #'s

Originally posted by iveyleeger

The chubby dude in the pic went on 60 dates in one year via Match.com. Do you believe that number? That is more than one date per week . . .

No, it is not possible to do in one year with match.com.
Why?
1. he should be really good looking - he is ok, but not a model.
2. Yeah, he should not have any requireemnt for women...
3. He should have tons of time...
4. I cannot believe - he dates 60 women and could not pick any to date longer? unlikely. He should be very VERY picky.
5. He should be really good at writing.
6. He should be persistence as hell.

By itself each thing is easy...relatively speaking. But to get all of them in one person? No way... probabl what happen is
he a) overeastimate the number - istaed of 45 said 60 - when numbers go that high, it is easy to add a dozen dates.
b) he dates not only online... and not only at one website.
Then - it is theoretically possible... 4 dates per month is quite achievable for some crazy people.

The dating never goes smoothly... one month i might be 6 dates, next - just 1.

Anyway, I suspect what he said is not true.
Statistically speaking after 10-12 dates you will find somebode interesting enough to go to a second date or maybe even 3rd.
If it happens it will require time and energy - I really doubt he is so mindless dater. He simply overeastimates the number "by a dozen".

 

[al77]

Originally posted by marge s.
Remember that women get lots more responses on those dating sites than men do. So if your profile is weak in the first two sentences you won't be able to compete (unless your pic ist just absolutely stunning!!)

My first impulse was to stop reading after the first sentence (boooring!!)

Hmmm. Interesting. Did you have a chance to check out other profiles? Like 99% writes "I am good, nice and snart guy" kind of things in the very first line.
Have you ever seen that "karaoke ... shower singing" thing?

ok, the first line is yes - important in that sense. But. I dont care at all about that particular sense - I dont want women to contact me without my invitation. From my experience those chicks who contact guys... usually a) contact all guys as if they cannot get a date b) very selective an very picky.
I figured out I dont wanna deal with ither category....

So what counts is the general impression from the profile, i.e. the very first line are not very important for me.

 

[marge s.]

Originally posted by al77
ok, the first line is yes - important in that sense. But. I dont care at all about that particular sense - I dont want women to contact me without my invitation.

What do you think what a women does when she gets a response on her profile? She'll check out your profile... and the profiles of all the other guys who sent her a message.

 

[iveyleeger]

The thing is, that guy will now get about 600 replies, since his photo was in a newspaper article.

What I wonder is whether claiming 60 dates for the year will work as effective social proof. Logically, you would think there is something wrong with the guy if he went through 60 women in a year. But, you would think the same thing about being divorced, and women prefer that to a guy who was never married.

So I have a feeling the "herd mentality" works the other way. "If he was good enough for one married women and 60 ladies on match.com, he is good enough for me."

 

[iveyleeger]

Al, in my experience the text doesn't matter at all. It's the picture. I took the same text and used a different picture and got a *lot* more replies. Unfortunately, it wasn't my picture

So it seems you have a good picture, and good enough text. Now, work on your real-life game, where looks matter less than action.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by iveyleeger
The thing is, that guy will now get about 600 replies, since his photo was in a newspaper article.

What I wonder is whether claiming 60 dates for the year will work as effective social proof. Logically, you would think there is something wrong with the guy if he went through 60 women in a year. But, you would think the same thing about being divorced, and women prefer that to a guy who was never married.

So I have a feeling the "herd mentality" works the other way. "If he was good enough for one married women and 60 ladies on match.com, he is good enough for me."

He will? No way, lets write a challenging article for some online magazine and see how may replies we will get...

They (or he) lied, I am getting more sure about it. Only a very crazy guy would go on 60 dates online only. He supplemented them from offline or something else... and didn't care to explain it.

Example: h2o here reported at some point he got 1:2 ratio from cold approaches, i.e. he got the phone number from every other chick he approached. If he wanted and could supply all of them with dinner right on the spot, he could easily do 60 dates in a year. If he tries it online, heh, probably 25 would be the limit unless he get tired of typing.

Yes, sure dates are a social proof. Sure a divorce is a social proof too. But wait, what is out goal is? Your goal?
Mine is not about the number of dates (I admit the more the better though), it is about quality. I would rather have 1 good date, i.e. vibes, attraction... then 10 average. I personally dont care at all how pretty she is, what I care is the vibes... "chiemistry".

So lets think who will be attracted to a divorced guy with 60 dates? Some mindless chick who dig everything which is "cool".
Talking Paris Hilton on a small scale.
The chick who can think a little bit, will figure out eventually that a divorce could mean a) potential emotional baggage b) kids c) alimony d) dealing with his ex if they have kids

So if a chick digs divorced guys and ask me "why have not you been married?" thinking "aha, what's wrong with you" - thats a signal to me that possible a) she digs "cool" stuff too much, it is a turn off for me b) she is picky and\or have emotional baggage that drives her to question guys in that way.

Conclusion: yes, it will be the spcial proof. But what kind of women will be attracted to the proof? Mostly (not saying all of them) shallow\picky chicks. Does anyone wants to deal with them? I.e. does anyone really need that kind of social proof?

The only thing it can do really well - is to boost his ego. Which is ok.

By the way, iveyleeger, your mail box is full..

 

[iveyleeger]

Well, does any woman find lack of social proof attractive? Does any woman want what no other woman wanted?

Maybe.

But I don't think you'll find it in the bible.

The whole point of this is that *every* woman thinks the same way, that's why these principles work so well.

If you are holding out for the one woman that is different than all the rest, it might be a very long wait. (And if you are using only the internet, she might turn out to be a man .

 

[al77]

Originally posted by iveyleeger
Well, does any woman find lack of social proof attractive? Does any woman want what no other woman wanted?
But I don't think you'll find it in the bible.

The whole point of this is that *every* woman thinks the same way, that's why these principles work so well.

If you are holding out for the one woman that is different than all the rest, it might be a very long wait. (And if you are using only the internet, she might turn out to be a man .

Good social proof is always good. I agree on that.
Though is a divorce a good social proof? Thats questionable... for some women - sure it is. For some other it is not at all.
Another example: if a man had many women... many relationships (no marriages) - is it a social proof? Sure!
Is it good? Well...it seems good, to a certain point: if he had just 1 relationship at 30-35 that may seem odd for women.
But what if he had 30 full fledged relationships and he let her know about it? Social proof? Of course. Good? No way...I mean if a woman can think a little bit, a guy with so many relationship is either very picky, cannot commit, a "player" (in women's sense) or somehting else along this line. In any case he is not really a good catch for her, unless she is looking for a quick "something".

Good social proof I guess would be very immediate: when other women looked at him a lot... when he is with his woman, when he mentioned some female friends to her - that would make a decent social proof without obvious negative part in it.

So in a way you are right - women are drawn to divorced men who had lots of dates. But what kind of women are they? Probably those who still didn't figure out what is _really important_ for a long term relationship.
Ideally a guy should "supply" more decent social proofs.

I want to focus on "chemistry" i.e. on that attraction that is unconditional... when she is attracted to you just becaus you are...you smell like you do, you talk like you do etc.. and you are attracted to her for similar reasons. There is not many women like that of course, but there are certainly some.

Internat only - yeah... that's my fault. Every time I try to do somehting in terms of CA I find a bunch of excuses: busy with somethign really importnat or getting dates anyway...it all boils down to lack of skills\experience\fear\convo skills.
I feel that online profile decease my motivation to go out even more.