"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Online Personals (Merged threads)

DJ de Florida

Master Don Juan
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I don't know why so many are against the Internet sites...

Posting a good ad on a variety of websites and taking advantages of free offers to send e-mail while working your game everyday = good idea

Spending hours at home by yourself cruising dating sites and spending hundreds on membership fees to tell women "I think you are hot. Do you want to talk?" = bad idea

Dating is a numbers game. Improve your chances.

www.matchdoctor.com is the only free one I know of at this time

others

www.match.com
www.matchmaker.com
www.blinddater.com
www.date.com
www.lavalife.com
www.cupidjunction.com
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Eternal

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Bumping this up.
 

The Foul Pole

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Hey guys,
I just joined up and been reading a few threads and this one in its entiredy. I'm thinking of trying the online thing myself and am wondering about posting a picture. I know most people say post a good pic, but what about a funny one? Obviously your picture and your headline is the first thing a woman will see. I have a feeling the picture is even more important. But if you post a funny pic what does that say about you? That you're a dork, or you are genuinely funny (which seems to be no.1 on a woman's list)?
I have 2 pics I'm thinking about posting. I'm a decent looking guy so getting a good pic isn't a big problem but I'm wondering if the funny one is even a good idea or not.
By the way, the funny one is myself Photoshoped in the poster from The Shining. So it's my head coming through the door instead of Jack Nicholson.
I'd like to hear some other opinions on this. Thanks!
 

Bud Wiser

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Foul Pole:

I'd stay away from the funny photos. Start by posting the best shot you have and check the response.

It may be that the shot you think is best isn't as good as another, so play around with it.

Concentrate on putting the yuks into your written narrative.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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AverageFC

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This is what David Deangelo says on personals, and I think hes got it:

Let's talk about how to deal with women when
meeting them via the personals.

First of all, imagine what it's like to be a
woman who's running a personal ad.

1) She'll get dozens of responses a day, in most
cases.

2) Most of the responses are from desperate loser
guys who make it very clear that they are not at all
attractive.

3) Within a few days all of the guys seem to blur
together into one big mass of exactly what she
isn't looking for.

So let's play this out.

You're a woman who's tired of playing the dating
game, meeting guys at bars, or whatever... and you
think "Hey, maybe I should place a personal ad and
see if I can meet a nice guy." So you get online and
see an ad for a free trial at a personal ad site,
and you go for it.

The first day of your ad, you get 35 responses.
You're thinking "Wow, this is cool. I'm going to be
able to choose between all these guys... there HAS
to be a few good ones in here..." so you go to work
reading through them.

The first one says "I'm a DWM, 45, two kids,
looking for a SWF for a LTR...."

You're so bored that you delete it thinking to
yourself "I hope they're not all that boring."

Second one says "Hi, you're really hot. If you'd
like to get together for some "no strings attached"
physical fun, get back to me. I'm very into giving
pleasure..."

DELETE.

And on and on... and the next day there are 35
more full of the same stuff...

If you think that I'm exaggerating, just ask a
few women who have run personals. This is real world.

With that said, if you're going to work with
the personals, you need to do a few things to:

1) Get her attention and stand out.

2) Come across as something OTHER than a loser.

3) Get her to answer you, then get her on the
phone ASAP, before she tunes out from all the
responses.

To answer your first question, YES you should
be ****y and funny with personals! As a matter of
fact, you need to turn up the volume for this special
occasion...

Here's an example of something I might say:

"Well, you sound like you might be more than just
another pretty face. Something tells me that you're
probably getting about 50 emails a day from loser guys
saying things like "Hi, I'm freshly divorced from my
seventh wife, have 5 delinquent kids... but the good
news is that I have a good chance at finally getting
a job..." etc.

In any event, I'm 35, have my life together, and I'm
more than the usual amount of interesting and funny, so
you'd better like to laugh.

You sound like you might make an interesting friend,
so let's get together for a cup of something
delicious and some interesting conversation... if
you think you can handle it, that is!"

I can see it now... you're probably already going
out and signing up for ten online personal sites and
you're thinking "Hey, cool... I'll just cut and paste
what David D. wrote here and the chicks will bangin'
my door down."

Well, in fact that might happen. And I'd recommend
that you test this one out...

But here are a few more tips for you, based on a
LOT of experience:

1) If you're going to use the personals, you have to
STAY ON TOP OF THEM. You want to be one of the first
10 people to email a woman! Not number 293. Yes, this
means paying attention.

2) You need to do something to make it personal. Use
your ****y and funny skills to talk about something
she said in her ad. If she's into dogs, say "Hey,
let's go down to the pet store and see if we can't
get your pooch one of those extra-fancy chew toys
that are like Krispy Kremes for dogs." Use your
imagination, and stay ****y and funny.

3) Get her on the phone as soon as you possibly can.
Remember, even though she sounds like she likes you
in the first email or two, she's STILL GETTING 40
MORE GUYS SENDING HER RESPONSES EVERY DAY. If you
don't get her on the phone fast, you'll just fade
into the pool of losers in her mind.

Here's a little secrets: Personals are one of the
BEST places to learn and practice how to be ****y and
funny, because you can THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO
SAY! It's like a real world simulator. I love it.
 

Komodo

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Two weeks ago I met a girl online and she turned out to be a high 9 and a virgin.She's 19 and I'm 22 she live an hour away from me it took me one day to get her number and address.So yes you can have some success with online dating I used tangopersonals.com .But I have to admit I had to go through about 5 girls online that were ugly and that I had to meet in person.But this girl and I plan on having sex next week at her place.She has a thing about dating guy from her area so better for me.:D
 

R19

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WTF, 39,468 threads about on-line personal sites... and I think that I don't use search properly sometimes.

Put an updated profile on the net and getting some winks and e-mails. I have not responded to any out of lack of interest. But if one was more alluring, I would. With some, I am thinking to myself 'are you serious????', a couple have been ok, some way out from neighboring cities which is a crack up, and I am good cougar bait.

Is it really rude not to respond? If I was at a bar or lounge and someone tried to catch my eye that I was not interested in or vice versa, there may not be any notice at all. In short, what is the point of responding saying 'not interested'?

Thanks.

BTW, there are some phenoms on match.com - they must get an s-load of contacts... right?
 

Plinco

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Is is better to create report first? Or is it better to test for interest level first?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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R19

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Monday morning and the chicks hit Match like it's crack...
 
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