Online Game: Trying to Meet the Girl in Real Life

[AbsolutBeirut]

This is a story about a girl I met off of Match.com and I had got her number and talked twice before this interchange here. I would like members here to read through this and analyze where I might have acted chodey and how I could have handled it better, here goes:

One night at 12 AM she messages me saying:

HB: What are you doing tomorrow?

AbsolutBeirut: Nothing yet, why?

HB: I have the day off.

Mind you, in our last talk I brought up the idea of us meeting up but I didnt think an opportunity would come this soon.

AbsolutBeirut: Cool wanna meet up after I get off from work?

HB: Maybe..what do u wanna do?

AbsolutBeirut: I was thinking of a chill or relaxed atmosphere..like a lounge but will come up with something tomorrow as I am too tired to think right now lol.

HB: k goodnight

AbsolutBeirut: u too, talk to you tomorrow.

Onwards to the next day, I start messaging her with a greeting in her native language because I luckily have a coworker that speaks that language too.

Another thing to mention is that I live in Point A and she lives in Point B and they are an hour apart, so I am suggesting a venue close to my area to which she says

HB: Its a long drive

AbsolutBeirut: Lol I forgot thta u live far from Point A, how selfish of me? where can we meet that is in between?

HB: I have no idea

Then I suggest an area that is 40 minutes drive for me but 20 minutes drive for her.

For this is takes her a while to respond and I began to lose hope that I'll hear from her. But she does and she says

HB: When do you get out?

she means work because that is where I am and immediately afterwards before I get a chance to respond:

HB: If you wanna meet up for a drink then I have to go to a bday party

to which I send:

AbsolutBeirut: I get out at 6:30 but lets save it for another time as I dont want to hold u up for the bday if I arrive late or get lost since I dunno the area lol


Thats it for now. I hope I still have a chance to salvage this one.

 

[green69]

Meh. Why are you spending time analyzing things and worrying about how you came across etc.? I think that shows more faults than anything in your dialogue.

 

[MotownMack]

I dont see anything horribly wrong there. She sounds like her interest level is mediocre to low, and I actually think you did well to blow her off her invitation that was sandwiched in between another event.

She expects you to drive close to an hour, so she can kill time until she has something better to do? I think that was an excellent move,actually-not AFC at all. You in effect said "Thanks, but no thanks. I got better things to do than run over there to spend 15 minutes with you."



The only thing "chodey" (lol) is you admitting that you're worried about losing her. Don't be. It's online dating, it has a low percentage of working out anyway, and there are a million more that you could easily work up to this level or interest, if not better.

As I said earlier, her interest level does not seem high. Don't go being a turd and chasing her around or driving all the way to see her, as it looks like there is a good chance you'll be wasting your time.

And while you're add it, add a few more plates so you don't make a desperate move.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Mind you, in our last talk I brought up the idea of us meeting up but I didnt think an opportunity would come this soon.

Being unprepared is just an excuse which leads to failure and frustration.

AbsolutBeirut: I was thinking of a chill or relaxed atmosphere..like a lounge but will come up with something tomorrow as I am too tired to think right now lol.

Having a plan prepared would have allowed you to close the deal then and there. Now you just seem as if you don't have your act together and could just throw something half @ssed onto the wall in hopes that it would stick.

AbsolutBeirut: Lol I forgot thta u live far from Point A, how selfish of me? where can we meet that is in between?

Would have been nice if you were prepared. Had to backtrack to cover it up.

HB: I have no idea

She meant "Are you going to put any effort into this??!!"

Then I suggest an area that is 40 minutes drive for me but 20 minutes drive for her.

For this is takes her a while to respond and I began to lose hope that I'll hear from her. ...

She's getting bored.

...
HB: If you wanna meet up for a drink then I have to go to a bday party

Oh yeah, she's bored. Any idea why she didn't envite you along to the party?

...
AbsolutBeirut: I get out at 6:30 but lets save it for another time as I dont want to hold u up for the bday if I arrive late or get lost since I dunno the area lol

Disqualify yourself before she does, interesting tactic...

Thats it for now. I hope I still have a chance to salvage this one.

Learn from it.

 

[Wodan]

I think she showed intrest but that you misinterpreted the situation and lost the opportunity, she was willing to meet you and set a time constraint because she was worried that you may run out of things to say the first time you meet. overall i think distance is a factor aswell, it cant be very casual when you live an hour apart its like a big sign of intrest from the beginning so she knows how important she is to you if you drive an hour to meet her, surely there are lots of girls within 20 minutes.

 

[BigFoot]

Problem is, these "online" contacts are mostly a waste of time.
The better looking women get many contacts and are usually
playing games.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Problem is, these "online" contacts are mostly a waste of time.
The better looking women get many contacts and are usually
playing games.

The thing is that even if they weren't online the same thing would have happened unless he changed what he said to her. Sarging online is no different conceptually than offline, you're dealing with the same people. And the preconceived problem with a mass of competition is if you equate yourself to the mass of AFCs who are trying to get their attention. Do things differently and you'll get different results.

 

[Wodan]

The thing is that even if they weren't online the same thing would have happened unless he changed what he said to her. Sarging online is no different conceptually than offline, you're dealing with the same people. And the preconceived problem with a mass of competition is if you equate yourself to the mass of AFCs who are trying to get their attention. Do things differently and you'll get different results.

I totally agree, its not a waste of time, you need to be manipulaltive aswell to get nice ones normally its the same as everyday life, I combat it by being very expressive which i find easy with the webcam on msn which works fine for me, but i do think getting girls off the internet is alot less efficient than in a club or something, the girls often will be further away on the internet, often find antisocial girls on the internet, and theres just more to choose from in a club.

 

[BigFoot]

Good replies. Now back to reality. The most attractive women have no need
to post a profile online, unless, they enjoy the attention and playing games.
If they present an attractive picture, some of these women (like my sister)
get 50 emails (or more) a day.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Good replies. Now back to reality. The most attractive women have no need
to post a profile online, unless, they enjoy the attention and playing games.
If they present an attractive picture, some of these women (like my sister)
get 50 emails (or more) a day.

So you are saying that your sister is one of those women who enjoy the attention and playing games so you're using her as your example of women in general? How old is your sister anyway and is she on a paid dating site or is she just using a free social network?

 

[Wodan]

Rash generalisations I used to use faceparty with an awful lot of success but the search function has changed now. It was free, packed with hot women, you had a fair few fake profiles but anyone with common sense can spot them. The girls are mainly on to have fun and give themselves more options with guys.

I think most oppen accounts never intending to meet someone off it, but its really not that hard to change theyre minds.