Online Forum? This forum is drowning in online posts..

[The Gambler]

The question here is not whether online dating is growing in popularity... of course it is. The question is whether there should be a special section for it, and I believe there should be.

Online dating has its own strategies and unique circumstances, which should be kept separate to avoid confusion from the guys that are new to all of this.

 

[backbreaker]

If i was more handsome, i'd kill it online, because when i get the date, i get the lay. The quality of the girls would still suck....

dating is the exact same as going to the club. it reduces it to the lowest common denominator /your looks. but you have guys who swear off clubbing the same guys swear by online dating. it's the same ****ing thing lol.

a dating site is nothing more than a 24 hour 7 day a week club. trying to make a connection by being unique or funny in your message to her is no different than trying to approach a broad in a club on a Saturday night who is dressed to the 9 and the music is blaring and she can't hear you. if you arent' going to be successful in the club, you aren't really going to be successful via online dating beucase it means you aren't great looking. you don't need a new forum for online dating all you have to do is search this forum for advice on how to get laid in a club and apply it to online dating. it's the same thing.

which then lowers your confidence, which in turn gives you a negative outlook on dating and or life.

 

[Daily Insanity]

First off James Bond is not REAL. I can't believe you're using a movie persona as a example. Second, I am not a good looking model either, but I don't go online with a mindset of expecting the world. If your confidence get's killed by a online chick, you have serious self-esteem issues.

How can you be a hypocrite when you DID online dating yourself and laid women? Work on your self esteem issues, because having a problem with online dating will put you behind where were moving on to. Women use the internet more and more to find men.

I use online and i'm successful out in the field, not because I get rejected online (which I do) but because I have a open mind. NOT EVERY GIRL ONLINE IS THERE TO DATE YOU OR LIKE YOU. They're there for different things, Instead of letting your ego control your life, take control of your ego. Man, a lot of you would benefit from my book.

@ backbraker, dude your post reminds me of all those bltch ass women who think they're the shlt. Time to NC on your ass.

 

[backbreaker]

First off James Bond is not REAL. I can't believe you're using a movie persona as a example. Second, I am not a good looking model either, but I don't go online with a mindset of expecting the world. If your confidence get's killed by a online chick, you have serious self-esteem issues.

How can you be a hypocrite when you DID online dating yourself and laid women? Work on your self esteem issues, because having a problem with online dating will put you behind where were moving on to. Women use the internet more and more to find men.

I use online and i'm successful out in the field, not because I get rejected online (which I do) but because I have a open mind. NOT EVERY GIRL ONLINE IS THERE TO DATE YOU OR LIKE YOU. They're there for different things, Instead of letting your ego control your life, take control of your ego. Man, a lot of you would benefit from my book.

@ backbraker, dude your post reminds me of all those bltch ass women who think they're the shlt. Time to NC on your ass.

lol and your post reminds me of the girls assume i must be gay because i won't **** em lol.

 

[Daily Insanity]

The question here is not whether online dating is growing in popularity... of course it is. The question is whether there should be a special section for it, and I believe there should be.

Online dating has its own strategies and unique circumstances, which should be kept separate to avoid confusion from the guys that are new to all of this.

?? Have you read ANY post after the OP's first post?

 

[\O/]

dating is the exact same as going to the club. it reduces it to the lowest common denominator /your looks. but you have guys who swear off clubbing the same guys swear by online dating. it's the same ****ing thing lol.

a dating site is nothing more than a 24 hour 7 day a week club. trying to make a connection by being unique or funny in your message to her is no different than trying to approach a broad in a club on a Saturday night who is dressed to the 9 and the music is blaring and she can't hear you. if you arent' going to be successful in the club, you aren't really going to be successful via online dating beucase it means you aren't great looking.

It's completely different, Backbreaker. Looks matter more in an online setting, because other factors such as body language, frame, tonality, attitude etc doesn't come into play.

You can be pretty decent with chicks in real life, yet suck online.

Surely it requires a forum section, but also it's kinda sad that guys that thrive to become men of high value, still considers it a decent battlefield. It's easy *****, but easy ***** is trivial.

 

[backbreaker]

It's completely different, Backbreaker. Looks matter more in an online setting, because other factors such as body language, frame, tonality, attitude etc doesn't come into play.

You can be pretty decent with chicks in real life, yet suck online.

Surely it requires a forum section, but also it's kinda sad that guys that thrive to become men of high value, still considers it a decent battlefield. It's easy *****, but easy ***** is trivial.

so you are actually saying that online dating is HARDER than clubbing. that's an interesting thought. because gaming girls in a club is not easy. at least hot ones. it took me a good year to get really good at it.

with that said you can be decent with girls in real life yet suck in the club. if you can't dance or you have too much bETA in you to speed up the process in a club enviroment from what you would with a girl you met through a friend, you aren't goinna get any.

but your point is made.

 

[The Gambler]

?? Have you read ANY post after the OP's first post?

Why don't you educate me on the big point I'm missing here.

 

[\O/]

First off James Bond is not REAL. I can't believe you're using a movie persona as a example. Second, I am not a good looking model either, but I don't go online with a mindset of expecting the world. If your confidence get's killed by a online chick, you have serious self-esteem issues.

How can you be a hypocrite when you DID online dating yourself and laid women? Work on your self esteem issues, because having a problem with online dating will put you behind where were moving on to. Women use the internet more and more to find men.

I use online and i'm successful out in the field, not because I get rejected online (which I do) but because I have a open mind. NOT EVERY GIRL ONLINE IS THERE TO DATE YOU OR LIKE YOU. They're there for different things, Instead of letting your ego control your life, take control of your ego. Man, a lot of you would benefit from my book.

@ backbraker, dude your post reminds me of all those bltch ass women who think they're the shlt. Time to NC on your ass.

I don't necessarily talk about myself when i talk about online dating being a confidence killer. I'm aware of my physical limitations, but don't let it affect my confidence. External validation or lack of it will affect ones self esteem if you don't have a solid sense of self.

I never used online dating sites, but online communities. Worked well for me, as i'm a decent looking guy. But i'm much better in real life, and i'm not a hypocrite. I don't judge people who use it as a supplement. I just don't recommend it.

Great to hear that you do well online. Many guys do. And i don't mind that. But they have to be aware that quality is sparse, and you should only use it for sex.

Either way, it should have it's own forum. I'm more interested in reading FR's, LR's and posts about self improvement and becoming a man of real value.

 

[Daily Insanity]

I don't necessarily talk about myself when i talk about online dating being a confidence killer. I'm aware of my physical limitations, but don't let it affect my confidence. External validation or lack of it will affect ones self esteem if you don't have a solid sense of self.

Again, unless you have control over your own ego, this will happen. Been rejected, been told to fvck off. Still am awesome (at least "I" think so)

I never used online dating sites, but online communities. Worked well for me, as i'm a decent looking guy. But i'm much better in real life, and i'm not a hypocrite. I don't judge people who use it as a supplement. I just don't recommend it.

I recommend all sorts of dating/relationship tools. Online being one of them. Open your mind to everything to be a man of value.

Either way, it should have it's own forum. I'm more interested in reading FR's, LR's and posts about self improvement and becoming a man of real value.


I agree with this. Have a separate forum, but this is a GENERAL discussion and in the description it states, "Discuss meeting, dating, and attracting women with others. Ask a question or give advice." Good luck changing it. I hope you do though, id want to run away from ignorance as well.


No squabble here with you brother, but when members start posting about how people are "losers" and that online dating is for "people who cant be social in real life" that's where they need to be educated. You will always be a step behind if you don't see the world as it is.

 

[synergy1]

online dating is a short cut and short cuts never work.

in exchange for you not having to cold approach a woman in real life you give up the frame because you are now one of 10 guys this week that she gets pm'ed by or whatever on the dating site that are just like you guys who have online courage but no real life courage.

Disagree, I much prefer to approach in person since you can guage personality and looks much easier than you can online. remember, not all of us have the luxury of living in a target rich environment - where I live its very easy to have a dry spell. I wouldn't have a profile if I lived in SoCal.

yeah dating in real life is hard. getting rejected sucks. going out and learning how to read body language and queues and **** is a lot of work. but in the end it's worth it beucase you are set. you have a skill set and a knowledge that no noe can take away from you.

Agreed. Becoming more game aware coupled with body language is really opening a lot of doors now, even at the ripe age of 32. Body language especially is important. One might even call it cheating. Once you can read these ques, one can change, improve, or learn from what works and what doesn't. Anyone who doesn't learn body language is severely handicapping themselves.


i saw a girl in starbucks yesterday sitting by herself.. white, blonde hair, very very cute face, maybe 23-24 years old, blue jeans,sweater and brown boots. a solid 7.5 maybe even 8. would have been all over her if i were single. and she is sitting there for a good hour and a half by herself. no guy there no girl there to talk to her. i caught her looking around a few times. its' like she's just waiting on a guy or someone to say something to her and no one would. tha'ts what online dating has done to this country.

Do you really think that people approach less today than 10 years ago? I believe cell phones have hamstrung in face communications. Maybe online dating has done the same? I think the chicken**** guys will always be chicken****, now they have an excuse. The ****y guys (the ones i know) use both when they can. Where I live you simply have to have a large blanket because quality women are difficult to come by.

Responses in bold.

Online dating isn't my favorite. A profile simply can not provide the same experience as a face to face experience which makes the process more difficult. However, going out is becoming less and less a part of my life and its easy to have weeks go by and not meet a new women (where I live). Supplementing this helps, or at least gives you some hope to keep something going. That said, a forum dedicated to it might be beneficial.

 

[incognito42]

online dating is a short cut and short cuts never work.

For many it's not a shortcut it's a stepping stone

Many guys have debilitating anxiety and reading scripture from the dj bible and loading yourself with knowledge doesn't nexessarily mean you can get out in the real world and overcome your fears and implement it.

I went from sitting on the sidelines for the most part and inturn rarely attracting chicks IRL and having some issues intercting with people to having zero approach anxiety.

I was able to practice talking with many, many chicks at once. Experimenting with different things that I could carry over to real life. Figuring out what to say and how to say it by seeing how they actually respond online, rather then reading it from this forum and learning how things work in theory or through someone elses experience

I agree that online dating should only supplement real game, but I know for a fact there's guys here now that can also use it to eliminate approach anxiety and really grow their game. I definitely understand why those who dont use online dating would hate reading through so many online dating threads though.

 

[Dryden]

For many it's not a shortcut it's a stepping stone

This.

Not having read all posts, I can say that

a) I agree for a different section
b) I agree that staying online is very bad indeed
c) Badoo dating site doesn't work by sending messages "emails" but you just try to find an online girl and start a chat. The rejection factor is quite a bit higher that way. Much more scary than regular dating site. Better to learn to deal with approach anxiety. Not a bad first step in learning to be more confident.

For someone who has always been avoiding that Badoo site like the plague, initiating these chats with girls is actually a good way to move forward.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

For many it's not a shortcut it's a stepping stone

Many guys have debilitating anxiety and reading scripture from the dj bible and loading yourself with knowledge doesn't nexessarily mean you can get out in the real world and overcome your fears and implement it.

I went from sitting on the sidelines for the most part and inturn rarely attracting chicks IRL and having some issues intercting with people to having zero approach anxiety.

I was able to practice talking with many, many chicks at once. Experimenting with different things that I could carry over to real life. Figuring out what to say and how to say it by seeing how they actually respond online, rather then reading it from this forum and learning how things work in theory or through someone elses experience

I agree that online dating should only supplement real game, but I know for a fact there's guys here now that can also use it to eliminate approach anxiety and really grow their game. I definitely understand why those who dont use online dating would hate reading through so many online dating threads though.

Agreed 110%.

Also as you and others have said there should be a seperate section for online dating. Tips, questions, field reports from it etc. all posted in one section.

Again..Online dating should only be used as one tool to meeting chicks/for those who are too busy to constantly go out to meet new women, or are trying to put what they learn on here but have approach anxiety into play.

Once you start meeting and interacting and knowing how to deal with chicks you meet online and take everything said and everyone with a grain of salt..those with approach anxiety will see it get less and less as they are already meeting, talking to, fvcking different chicks from online already so a real life face to face rejection or acceptance won't mean much. They'll be cool calm and relaxed and chicks will pick up on that regardless. Plus the guy knowing he's getting other chicks will have that air of confidence and knowing he can get pvzzy elsewhere and not wind up pedestalizing any one chick.

Online plate spinning, FWB, FB.

Dudes just have to have it drilled into their heads not to take anyone and or anything online to heart and with a grain of salt. If they do take things seriously...since chicks who're online "dating" are what they are they'll have a seriously screwed up view of women in general and I'd suggest taking a break if they do to avoid messing up their sanity.

Besides that. Go out when you can. Meet people in real life. Take a part time job for extra spending money in a big popular department store in your areas..there are soo many different chicks shopping, working there etc. and being you are working there too...you can't help but be FORCED to interact with them...while making extra money instead of spending it.

there's too many different ways to be meeting chicks. utilize them people.

 

[backbreaker]

Agreed 110%.

Also as you and others have said there should be a seperate section for online dating. Tips, questions, field reports from it etc. all posted in one section.

Again..Online dating should only be used as one tool to meeting chicks/for those who are too busy to constantly go out to meet new women, or are trying to put what they learn on here but have approach anxiety into play.

Once you start meeting and interacting and knowing how to deal with chicks you meet online and take everything said and everyone with a grain of salt..those with approach anxiety will see it get less and less as they are already meeting, talking to, fvcking different chicks from online already so a real life face to face rejection or acceptance won't mean much. They'll be cool calm and relaxed and chicks will pick up on that regardless. Plus the guy knowing he's getting other chicks will have that air of confidence and knowing he can get pvzzy elsewhere and not wind up pedestalizing any one chick.

Online plate spinning, FWB, FB.

Dudes just have to have it drilled into their heads not to take anyone and or anything online to heart and with a grain of salt. If they do take things seriously...since chicks who're online "dating" are what they are they'll have a seriously screwed up view of women in general and I'd suggest taking a break if they do to avoid messing up their sanity.

Besides that. Go out when you can. Meet people in real life. Take a part time job for extra spending money in a big popular department store in your areas..there are soo many different chicks shopping, working there etc. and being you are working there too...you can't help but be FORCED to interact with them...while making extra money instead of spending it.

there's too many different ways to be meeting chicks. utilize them people.

okay, i've finally figured out how to say what i'm trying to say

Naughty Ninja you are 43 years old. Who else here said they like Online dating.. \O/ is my age.. NN how old where you when online dating really became hip.. 30? 35? what about \O/? for me online dating became "in" when I was in my early 20's but unlike most guys my age I had game and was already cold approaching girls.

This is my point. NN you have or had a good.. 10 to 15 years of real life cold world experience to deal with women to understand what women were about so that once you got online and online dating becuase popular you could understand

1. that the women who were online were not high quality women

and more importantly

2. that the sample of women that you find online is not a reflection of the female gender as a whole.

You also had 15 years to build up your self esteem and confidence in regards to the opposite sex

But telling a guy who is wet behind the ears, who is in his early 20's who isn't getting any in college or fresh out of college who is not overly handsome that online dating is a "stepping stone" is tantamount to suicide.

This is the EXACT reason why we have so many women are the scum of the earth posts on line. I follow Korrupt's post a lot. You can draw a direct line between his online dating and his viewpoint of women going straight down hill. but he's just 22. He doesn't have 5-7-10 normal girl relationships to fall back on or years of going out and dating experience to realize that what he is seeing is the 9th layer of hell in regards to women's morality.

A better analogy for online dating used correctly is that its' a masters degree. Yes a masters degree can add a lot of income for you, but you can't get it until you get the undergrad degree first. Yes Online dating can be a boon but only for guys who know how to deal with women before they get there. If you don't know how to deal with women before you dive into online dating you will come out with your ego bruised, bitter with a ****ty viewpoint on life beucase if this is your only sample of how dating works you can't possibly see how this will work out.

Plus I like to keep a positive outlook on life and on women in general.. there are ****ty women out there but not all women are ****ty and staying off dating sitees helps re affirm that.

that's what i'm trying to say.

 

[\O/]

1. that the women who were online were not high quality women

and more importantly

2. that the sample of women that you find online is not a reflection of the female gender as a whole.

This is the essence of online dating. It will fvck up your view on women. It can make you bitter. It can make you think all women are *****s and BPD-sluts. It can make you think there aren't any decent and "normal" women out there.

But there are. There are plenty of high quality women, but chances are you won't meet them if you rely on dating sites.

And if you DO decide to use it as a tool, just be aware of this fact. Don't get attached, don't get emotionally involved. Use it JUST FOR SEX.

 

[Down Low]

Girls with online profiles is a major red flag for me. It's one of the things i'm screening for with girls i intend to date. If they have an online profile, i'm most likely not interested in pursuing. Hot chicks gets hit on all the time and should have no problems with meeting plenty of good guys in the real world. Those who use online dating as a supplement are attention *****s and have plenty of baggage, especially girls under 30.

Kicking myself for not doing that before. :cuss: It's so clear now: I shoulda had a V-date!

I think there should be a section for online dating, where those who use it can discuss techniques etc, without flooding this forum. What do you guys think?

Agreed.

You try working 60-80 hour weeks and then trolling bars for 'quality women'. It's a tiring business. I still manage to hit a house party, club or bar once or twice a week but completely understand guys who don't feel like wasting their limited free time on the chance they might hook up with a decent girl.

There are no quality women at bars.

 

[pdx1138]

Online dating is here to stay and it's going to become the dominant mode of meeting chicks (if it hasn't already) whether you like it or not. When texting was getting popular 10-12 years ago, people were up in arms about it, declaring that texting was for pvssies. If you read old posts on this board, "call, don't text" was a popular slogan at the time. Nowadays, you simply cannot communicate with women without texting. If you call them, they just don't pick up the phone, unless you are already dating.

Same thing with online dating. As more and more women start to use it, they will become less and less receptive to "real life" approaches. I'm already seeing this phenomenon. Technology is changing the way human being interacts, and this includes pick up. You either adjust or get left behind.

For better or worse 100% Correct.

I think there should be an online sub-forum here.

 

[pdx1138]

But telling a guy who is wet behind the ears, who is in his early 20's who isn't getting any in college or fresh out of college who is not overly handsome that online dating is a "stepping stone" is tantamount to suicide.

No. It's not for many of us. (maybe it is for YOU)

I know plenty of men myself included that used this site and online dating to take it to the next level of real life approaching.

 

[incognito42]

okay, i've finally figured out how to say what i'm trying to say

Naughty Ninja you are 43 years old. Who else here said they like Online dating.. \O/ is my age.. NN how old where you when online dating really became hip.. 30? 35? what about \O/? for me online dating became "in" when I was in my early 20's but unlike most guys my age I had game and was already cold approaching girls.

This is my point. NN you have or had a good.. 10 to 15 years of real life cold world experience to deal with women to understand what women were about so that once you got online and online dating becuase popular you could understand

1. that the women who were online were not high quality women

and more importantly

2. that the sample of women that you find online is not a reflection of the female gender as a whole.

You also had 15 years to build up your self esteem and confidence in regards to the opposite sex

But telling a guy who is wet behind the ears, who is in his early 20's who isn't getting any in college or fresh out of college who is not overly handsome that online dating is a "stepping stone" is tantamount to suicide.

This is the EXACT reason why we have so many women are the scum of the earth posts on line. I follow Korrupt's post a lot. You can draw a direct line between his online dating and his viewpoint of women going straight down hill. but he's just 22. He doesn't have 5-7-10 normal girl relationships to fall back on or years of going out and dating experience to realize that what he is seeing is the 9th layer of hell in regards to women's morality.

A better analogy for online dating used correctly is that its' a masters degree. Yes a masters degree can add a lot of income for you, but you can't get it until you get the undergrad degree first. Yes Online dating can be a boon but only for guys who know how to deal with women before they get there. If you don't know how to deal with women before you dive into online dating you will come out with your ego bruised, bitter with a ****ty viewpoint on life beucase if this is your only sample of how dating works you can't possibly see how this will work out.

Plus I like to keep a positive outlook on life and on women in general.. there are ****ty women out there but not all women are ****ty and staying off dating sitees helps re affirm that.

that's what i'm trying to say.

Real life rejection was a confidence killer for me. I'd take rejection hard and not go out and try again, thus not being able to practice or learn anything

I've never once felt a blow to my confidence getting rejected online (which has happened hundreds of times)

I think those who warn to stay away from online dating because of how it will destroy your confidence, don't go into online dating with the right perspective --- that the chicks are beneath you and that youre not getting rejected face to face. To me that's what makes this level of rejection EASIER on a "beginner" than a real life rejection would