"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Online Forum? This forum is drowning in online posts..

\O/

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I'm not judging those who turn to online dating. But it's a whole different game. So many posts here involve online girls, girls that guys haven't even met yet. It's very uninteresting. I don't learn anything that i can use.

Online game is a confidence killer. It's all looks and very little game. The girls are low quality, even the hot ones. Girls with online profiles is a major red flag for me. It's one of the things i'm screening for with girls i intend to date. If they have an online profile, i'm most likely not interested in pursuing. Hot chicks gets hit on all the time and should have no problems with meeting plenty of good guys in the real world. Those who use online dating as a supplement are attention *****s and have plenty of baggage, especially girls under 30.

The quality of men on dating sites are much higher than the women, yet it's a very uneven battlefield. It also translates to the real world, where average girls think they can have their pick of quality men, because they get all the attention from better looking guys just trying to pump and dump them.

The power and edge that i have in a live interaction, is completely absent in an online setting. Online you come from the weaker position, and it doesn't compute well with the person i'm trying to be.

I think there should be a section for online dating, where those who use it can discuss techniques etc, without flooding this forum. What do you guys think?
 
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“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

Read more...

Night-hawk

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It's IMO that we here are learning to be more than just another guy who settles for the online jungle dating scene, right?
 

PlayHer Man

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I agree OP. Online dating should be used as a supplement for sex on the side but NEVER a place to find a serious relationship.

Every girl I've ever known to use Online dating was damaged and mentally screwed up. Its not a place for normal high quality women.

I have a POF profile and a OKC profile I just keep for dry spells. I keep it active with no pictures. When I hit a dry spell and/or have no time to go out.. I upload my best pictures and spam all the attractive women for a week or two. Any girls I meet up with I just try to sleep with and that's it.

Then I take my pictures down again for several months and stop using it. That's really all its good for IMO.
 

backbreaker

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online dating is a short cut and short cuts never work.

in exchange for you not having to cold approach a woman in real life you give up the frame because you are now one of 10 guys this week that she gets pm'ed by or whatever on the dating site that are just like you guys who have online courage but no real life courage.

yeah dating in real life is hard. getting rejected sucks. going out and learning how to read body language and queues and **** is a lot of work. but in the end it's worth it beucase you are set. you have a skill set and a knowledge that no noe can take away from you.

I'm with the OP I can't get nor can anyone get anything out ocf the current format of the forum beucase all it is is a request for new tricks to circumvent online dating. guys dno't want to learn how to read a girls body language or learn just when to ask for the number anymore they want to know how to get her to respond to your texts after you have had "a killer text convo" with her and she's now not responding. i'm out on that ****

i saw a girl in starbucks yesterday sitting by herself.. white, blonde hair, very very cute face, maybe 23-24 years old, blue jeans,sweater and brown boots. a solid 7.5 maybe even 8. would have been all over her if i were single. and she is sitting there for a good hour and a half by herself. no guy there no girl there to talk to her. i caught her looking around a few times. its' like she's just waiting on a guy or someone to say something to her and no one would. tha'ts what online dating has done to this country.

i like knowing that i have the confidence, skill set to approach her with no hesitation if i so chose / were single.
 

Demonpenz

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You get out there in the real world and you get your ass get handed to you and you see how weak you really are. It is painful and it makes you go towards online dating. Not me though, I ain't down for that. Lets see who the warriors are and who aren't.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

Read more...

Atom Smasher

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That's really not a bad idea, OP. I'll propose it to the forum owner.
 

Naughty Ninja

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Atom Smasher said:
That's really not a bad idea, OP. I'll propose it to the forum owner.

I'd recommend that as well.

The online dating forums would be better for dudes who want to try things out that way due to approach anxiety or are too busy working etc. to run out and try to pick up chicks in person all the time.

Incognito
Daily Insanity
Muscleman
Purefilth
GoodLookingLoser
Mike32ct (Think he's posted good advice for online dating)
BukowskiMerit

and a few other active posters have good tips that should all be complied in an online dating forum on here for POF, OkCupid,and the rest.

Like I've said countless times online dating is what it is and should only be used as a suppliment, for dry spells, and or for those who want to try getting easy lays to slowly build their confidence so in real life they don't give a damn as much about rejection since they'll eventually start getting laid pretty regularly from chicks online.

I'd never make online dating the end all be all, and take everyone and everything with a grain of salt.

Too much online dating can be hazardous to your mental health and seriously have you looking at women as all complete wh0res. You just have to take it as it is what it is. Like picking up club slvts for quick lays. Nothing more.
 

( . )( . )

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\O/ said:
I'm not judging those who turn to online dating. But it's a whole different game. So many posts here involve online girls, girls that guys haven't even met yet. It's very uninteresting. I don't learn anything that i can use.
Couldn't agree more.


Naughty Ninja said:
I'd recommend that as well.
The online dating forums would be better for dudes who want to try things out that way due to approach anxiety or are too busy working etc. to run out and try to pick up chicks in person all the time.
I'm all for pissing these useless online dating posts off to 1 seperate location but let's not fool ourselves into pretending the online route is an aid for "approach anxiety" or those "too busy". You know as well as I do it's to cater for the influx of AFC's here unwilling to leave their comfort zones ,still not willing to to take the plunge toward the type of women who have never needed to use online dating and never will.

Why not call a spade a spade?
 

PlayHer Man

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backbreaker said:
online dating is a short cut and short cuts never work.

in exchange for you not having to cold approach a woman in real life you give up the frame because you are now one of 10 guys this week that she gets pm'ed by or whatever on the dating site that are just like you guys who have online courage but no real life courage.

yeah dating in real life is hard. getting rejected sucks. going out and learning how to read body language and queues and **** is a lot of work. but in the end it's worth it beucase you are set. you have a skill set and a knowledge that no noe can take away from you.

I'm with the OP I can't get nor can anyone get anything out ocf the current format of the forum beucase all it is is a request for new tricks to circumvent online dating. guys dno't want to learn how to read a girls body language or learn just when to ask for the number anymore they want to know how to get her to respond to your texts after you have had "a killer text convo" with her and she's now not responding. i'm out on that ****

i saw a girl in starbucks yesterday sitting by herself.. white, blonde hair, very very cute face, maybe 23-24 years old, blue jeans,sweater and brown boots. a solid 7.5 maybe even 8. would have been all over her if i were single. and she is sitting there for a good hour and a half by herself. no guy there no girl there to talk to her. i caught her looking around a few times. its' like she's just waiting on a guy or someone to say something to her and no one would. tha'ts what online dating has done to this country.

i like knowing that i have the confidence, skill set to approach her with no hesitation if i so chose / were single.
Spot on bro. I think its just the younger generation of "electronic communication" people with no social skills. A few days ago I was on Yelp.com where a girl posted about how when she goes out to bars and clubs the majority of men don't approach women. She was whining about how her friend told her in this city women have to approach men now or nothing happens.. but (of course) she refuses to stoop that low so she will just stay single :crackup:

The point is... the younger generation of men (late teens) have no game at all and do most socializing via Facebook, Twitter, iphone, email, etc.

I'm happy the Internet was just getting popular when I was in Middle School and High School. Had lots of time to develop real social skills.

Its hard enough learning game when you have social skills. Imagine learning game without them? No wonder so many guys are going the Internet route... thus handing over more power to women.
 

Plutoman

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I keep getting tempted to go towards online dating, because I believe I could score very well, but I keep thinking on the effort to make the account, set it up, spam messages, etc etc.. when I could just go out and have a good time with a buddy and meet women that way.

I get 2-3 numbers a week just doing my stuff, and getting out, it's been enough for me so far.

That said, I do agree with a separate section for online dating. If I could find some more comprehensive information on it I'd probably give it more of a shot. I've got enough figuring out the rest of game, I'm not so much in the mood to start out experimenting without a solid base.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Daily Insanity

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What I don't understand is why you members judge online dating as a complete different world. Obviously I agree with Naughty Ninja that online dating should be used as a supplement to your life but, dating is dating. As we age we get more technologically advanced, hence online dating becomes more convenient for people who are busy with life and have little time to interact with other people. They still meet in real life if they choose which is what you people consider "normal".

First of all online dating is not a confidence killer, not for me at least. Guys should realize that not all women who go online are actually going there to date. With knowing this, why would you want to consider it a confidence killer if you already know if they're serious or not. How do you know? Just ask, they'll tell you, shlts and giggles, ego boost, broke up and needs some closure. Dating is dating and you have NO right to say " they're people with no social skills." I have social skills and MANY friends so your opinion is strictly ignorant.


The point is... the younger generation of men (late teens) have no game at all and do most socializing via Facebook, Twitter, iphone, email, etc.

That made me laugh more than old men complaining about online dating. I have more game in my little finger than you do probably half your life.

"approach anxiety" or those "too busy". You know as well as I do it's to cater for the influx of AFC's here unwilling to leave their comfort zones ,still not willing to to take the plunge toward the type of women who have never needed to use online dating and never will.

Sad post coming from someone who's been "online" since "2002" and has too much "time" to be here. You obviously didnt "master" don juan but just being "online". AFC, or never left your computer chair?

i saw a girl in starbucks yesterday sitting by herself.. white, blonde hair, very very cute face, maybe 23-24 years old, blue jeans,sweater and brown boots. a solid 7.5 maybe even 8. would have been all over her if i were single. and she is sitting there for a good hour and a half by herself. no guy there no girl there to talk to her. i caught her looking around a few times. its' like she's just waiting on a guy or someone to say something to her and no one would. tha'ts what online dating has done to this country.

i like knowing that i have the confidence, skill set to approach her with no hesitation if i so chose / were single


Backbraker, I approached her. What do you say now? I'm still online.

The power and edge that i have in a live interaction, is completely absent in an online setting. Online you come from the weaker position, and it doesn't compute well with the person i'm trying to be.

It's a supplement. Why don't you go ahead and build muscle without protein, oh wait, protein is ordered online as well??? FVCK there goes my confidence.

Gentleman, there is a mature forum, please relocate. Open shop about your approaches there, because one way or the other, you're not prepared for whats in all our future.

I can approach women easily, anywhere and I still use online dating. I have a wonderful life I created for myself and I am happy. Explain to me why I have to listen to old people complain about young people. You cant put a old head on to a young shoulder's, things change, accept it or you can complain about it here, well you're "online" so you can.
 

( . )( . )

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Daily Insanity said:
What I don't understand is why you members judge online dating as a complete different world. Obviously I agree with Naughty Ninja that online dating should be used as a supplement to your life but, dating is dating. As we age we get more technologically advanced, hence online dating becomes more convenient for people who are busy with life and have little time to interact with other people. They still meet in real life if they choose which is what you people consider "normal".
You can justify it however you want, won't change the fact the women we all initially subscribed to this website to learn how to get don't use online dating services.

It's a crutch for losers and maybe the odd self and socially aware red piller to get a slumpbuster occasionally and that's as far as it goes. There is way too much dedication and devotion spent on it here as the OP already pointed out.
 

Bokanovsky

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Online dating is here to stay and it's going to become the dominant mode of meeting chicks (if it hasn't already) whether you like it or not. When texting was getting popular 10-12 years ago, people were up in arms about it, declaring that texting was for pvssies. If you read old posts on this board, "call, don't text" was a popular slogan at the time. Nowadays, you simply cannot communicate with women without texting. If you call them, they just don't pick up the phone, unless you are already dating.

Same thing with online dating. As more and more women start to use it, they will become less and less receptive to "real life" approaches. I'm already seeing this phenomenon. Technology is changing the way human being interacts, and this includes pick up. You either adjust or get left behind.
 

Harry Wilmington

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I'm sure most of you prefer the "go out and sarge/cold approach 100 girls" method of dating. For some people, such as myself, online dating is our version of doing that.

Growing up, I wasn't always the most social of individuals. Heck, I wet myself constantly until about the age of 7 - not because I had bad bladder control, but because I had some kind of fear about going up to someone and asking them to use the bathroom (i.e. starting a conversation). And the reason for this was because, in my head, if I felt like my interaction with them was going to result in some kind of negative conversation (i.e. a no or a scolding), it was better just to not have that conversation.

The bathroom aspect of things got better, but the approaching strangers out of the blue thing never did. I got laughed at by a whole busful of kids when I was 6 when the girl I liked found out about it and yelled it out for all to hear. So, for the longest time, trying to walk up to a chick and even ask her out to her face was NOT happening. Or making friends in general - to this day, I meet most of my friends via going to parties with other friends who know people there, so that it's easy for me to transition into conversations with the new people.

I say all that to say, for people with social anxiety, online dating is a GREAT way to go. It allows you to "face rejection" in the least harshest way possible, while at the same time allowing you to get to know someone so that, when you do meet them in person, you don't have to worry about any awkwardness because you've already talked to them for a while. I've had MASSIVE success in terms of getting dates, lays, and/or girlfriends off dating sites - and, ironically, my "cold approach" game also got better because of the confidence level I was able to build while interacting with multiple girls online.

In short: I wouldn't go totally dissing online dating altogether. I know people who actually met online and ended up getting married, as well as people who met in person and ended up getting divorced. You can get both results regardless of how you meet up with someone, so whatever method you feel most comfortable with should be the one you choose to use.
 

rhythmic

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backbreaker said:
online dating is a short cut and short cuts never work.
Except you can totally get laid from online dating, really quickly, and that's what a lot of guys are looking for.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Atom Smasher

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Social_Leper said:
Because Mr. Tits et al are dinosaurs. I still get the occasional chuckle from some keyboard jockey echoing the 'call don't text' mantra.
I'm still having great success with the good old-fashioned Telegraph.

.............................

Get your ass over here STOP

I have a big surprise for you STOP

You'll be screaming "Please, Atom, don't STOP"

.............................
 

evan12

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Online dating is just another option , if you can get women by this method then do it
 

backbreaker

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Social_Leper said:
I can approach women easily, anywhere and I still use online dating. I have a wonderful life I created for myself and I am happy. Explain to me why I have to listen to old people complain about young people. You cant put a old head on to a young shoulder's, things change, accept it or you can complain about it here, well you're "online" so you can.

Because Mr. Tits et al are dinosaurs. I still get the occasional chuckle from some keyboard jockey echoing the 'call don't text' mantra. Online dating has its uses and you'd be a fool to say otherwise. Just see it for what it is. An opportunity to meet a few loose women.

You try working 60-80 hour weeks and then trolling bars for 'quality women'. It's a tiring business. I still manage to hit a house party, club or bar once or twice a week but completely understand guys who don't feel like wasting their limited free time on the chance they might hook up with a decent girl.

"Too busy" is a legitimate reason to use online dating, if that's the path you want to take. Although it's sub optimal for gaming chicks for the reasons people above mentioned. You aren't really developing the right skill set.




Definitely. The main issue with online dating vs other methods of gaming girls is that there's absolutely no advantage over normal interaction other than convenience.

You're competing for her attention however you try and frame it, which automatically puts you in a weaker position. Just try it. The average quality of girls I can get numbers from in real life vs online dating would definitely raise eyebrows. A HB6 becomes an HB8. And the HB8s become goddesses. This is very worrying trend.

this was my normal schedule when i was 24 years old. this actually isn't all that different from my schedule today but now i'm married

5am- wake up, eat breakfast
6:30am - go to morning AA meeting to 7:30am
7:45-10isham- gym
10:20ish- 10:30 to 6:30pm work with business, while making time to gamble on races that i have circled throughout the day
7pm-8pm- go to NA meeting everyday except Saturday
8:15- until- bet on horses, finish up any work i have left over. generally utnil about midnight

yet during that time i still found time to actually spin plates i bull **** you not. and bro that's 6 sometimes 7 days a week depending on the year. a normal "work" week for me is between 70 and 80 hours and i am in the gym 5 or 6 days a week i take a day off once every 5 days, and i go to 1or 2 NA/AA meetings a week. and mind you all this is with me working from my ****ing house and yet i STILLLL found time to talk to women and not only talk to them, date them, ahve sex wtih them, go out to eat with them, take them on walks and ****. i still to this day do that just about and i have a son and i have a wife who i still find time to spend time with and i even find time to bull **** with you *****es here lol.

i'm so ****ign done with you mother****ers here making excuses on your lack of effort you either want the **** or youd on't but dont' give me any bull**** about "oh boo hoo my job is so hard and this makes it easier" you ****ing ***** roll up your sleeves and make time for what you want. i could be at the bank cashing a check from a client and see a cutie pie in line, bam = number. I can be picking up coffee from my morning AA meeting and see a woman on her way to work = bam number.

and the irony of it all is that considering that i am hot and i have money and you don't, I'd rape you if i actually were single and give a **** about online dating. I'm the guy that girls go online to find you aren't buddy. all i have to do for a good shot is take my shirt off and snap, and yet i still would not ever stoop to the ****ing level of creating an online profile in the hopes of meeting women.

we stay it all the time.. girls IRL who have to have an online profile to get laid reeks of someone who has ego issues or suck in real life beucase in real life a cute girl who is cute with little baggage or who isnt' crazy isn't going to have a problem attracting a girl.. so what the **** does it say about you if you are so desperate to get ass you have to go online to create a profile and pay a company 10 dollars a month to allow you to spam "hot" girls in hopes one of them will suck your ****.


in life there are people who make excuses and people who make **** happen.people who result to online dating are people who make excusees.


my fav quote on this forum of all time is follows

"Real men are not available. They are climbing mountains. They are swimming across rivers. What are you doing? Making spaghetti?!" - Anti-Dump

Stop ****ing making spaghetti. that's what creating an online profile is and then you wonder why the *****es flake on you and you have trouble meeting up wtih them you aren't about **** so why should they be about **** . *****es don't want a man who they can text or call or send PM's to at any time and get a response. women don't want a ****ing man who acdtually has the ****ing time to create an online profile and update it. start doing ****. get the **** out there. if you got a job who the **** cares so does everyoen else. you think i give a **** about your ****ing 70 hour job you know how many guys in construction i know who work 50-60 hour weeks and still have time to chase poon (in real life) no one gives a **** about your bull **** ass struggles. roll up your sleeves and get in out there.
 

sageproduct

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Atom Smasher said:
I'm still having great success with the good old-fashioned Telegraph.

.............................

Get your ass over here STOP

I have a big surprise for you STOP

You'll be screaming "Please, Atom, don't STOP"

.............................
LOL
backbreaker said:
i saw a girl in starbucks yesterday sitting by herself.. white, blonde hair, very very cute face, maybe 23-24 years old, blue jeans,sweater and brown boots. a solid 7.5 maybe even 8. would have been all over her if i were single. and she is sitting there for a good hour and a half by herself. no guy there no girl there to talk to her.
Motherfwcker!!! You should have called me I would be all over that sh1t
 

\O/

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Social_Leper said:
You're competing for her attention however you try and frame it, which automatically puts you in a weaker position. Just try it. The average quality of girls I can get numbers from in real life vs online dating would definitely raise eyebrows. A HB6 becomes an HB8. And the HB8s become goddesses. This is very worrying trend.


This. No matter how good your "online game" is, you will always come from a weaker position. Listen, i've laid plenty of girls of the net. I don't mind that guys go that route. It's just that from my experience, those girls are only for sex and nothing more. The last 3 girls i dated had online profiles. I met them all in the bar scene, but they all turned out to have online profiles. They were easy to get to bed, but ****ed up in the head. Low quality, even though they were pretty hot.

I don't know about you guys, but being on a dating site messes with my identity. I don't want to be that guy. I don't want to identify myself with that guy. Does James Bond use dating pages? I don't want to meet girls in real life that didn't reply to my messages online. They are in the power position immediately.

I know i could up my notch count if i used online dating. But it would probably lower my confidence. I'm a man. I approach the women i want to meet.

@Daily insanity. Online dating is a confidence killer for the guys who aren't the best looking. It doesn't matter if you are a high quality guy. What matters is how you look. I'm an average looking guy, but i can have success online. However, most girls will ignore or reject me. When i control the frame and interaction in a real life situation, my looks won't matter as much.

If i was more handsome, i'd kill it online, because when i get the date, i get the lay. The quality of the girls would still suck....
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

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