"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Online Dating
- Thread starter Minty25
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
Hmmm... I find it easier to flirt in person; bu then, my strengths are mainly non-verbal (eye contact, space, kino, etc.).
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
SoSuave.com
Administrator
urbanwhite
Don Juan
cannibustacap
Don Juan
Don't women pay for the dating service as well?
Why the fux would someone pay for a dating service to play email tag?
I haven't tried online dating... but I may experiment with it.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Life-Trainee
Master Don Juan
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
That's a good point, why would they just play tag if they are paying for the service? Most guys get frustrated because the furthest that they've ever gotten was email tag. Women on-line tend to get bored easily or just determine that email tag is the best for a particular guy.
I usually trade two emails and then meet the woman. After the second email we've both determined that we're interested in meeting one another. Notice that I completely skipped getting her phone number, I think that step is a waste of time.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Sites that were just starting did that to get new members. Since Match.com, Yahoo and eHarmony bought up most of the start up sites, none of them give away free memberships anymore. Everyone is on-line and is willing to pay for the service. Why give away revenue?
Abbott
Master Don Juan
I have a couple questions, which isn't on the exact topic, but it's closely related.
Recently I did E-mail someone on an online date site and no, I haven't got a response yet.
Anyone think it's a good idea to send a follow-up E-mail?
I would only send one follow-up if I do, since more than that makes you seem like an AFC.
I think it's possible that I might have fun if I did hang out with her, but at the same time I figure it's a crapshoot so I'm not going to "bet the farm" on it or anything. I won't be crushed if she won't talk to me.
Another question:
Some of these sites allow people to post what they want in a partner. Is it a bad idea to try to contact someone if you don't exactly match what they say?
Sometimes I see some profiles which are TOO specific in that regard, so I figure that they can't really expect a man to fit everything that they say they want.
Talk to you soon,
Ben
B.J. Van Beusekom
New Member
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Understand that women usually get 10-20 times more unsolicited email than men from on-line dating sites. I've been contacted by women 2 weeks to a month after writing them. Many times I had long forgotten that I hat written to them and they would have to refresh my memory.
Writing too soon will come off as AFC and will put you on the bottom of the pile if she doesn't decide to toss the email altogether. Waiting at least a couple of weeks makes it a little better but I would personally wait a month if she's really someone I'd like to meet. It gives her time to finish exploring any previous opportunities and allows me to explore more opportunities myself.
As for contacting someone when you don't completely meet their criteria, I say go for it. How many of them fit yours exactly anyway? I'd make sure that I'd meet the most of the interests at least and also most of the physical traits.
I say most of the physical traits because for myself, being non-Nordic and living in Minnesota makes things a bit interesting when their criteria is 'white/Caucasian.' I balance things off by keeping myself in better shape than 'most' of my competition and I also make sure that I can keep them entertained when we meet. That makes up for things at least 75% of the time.
Keep at it, it's a trial and error way to experience things but it can be a lot of fun once you get the hang of it.