Online dating pre-flake?

[Poonani Maker]

Yea, this one wants kids too. She's 37 as well. I think many of these ladies are just delusional.

Yeah, you can just See their psychosis oozing through their photos of themselves, yet they are "looking for their unicorn." The mental stressors show through their faces and strained smiles. It's a cutlery, a gremlin, forging through her 5 and belowness due to her inundation from all kinds of chads to much less than of the male-seeking-female spectrum. She gets all the offers, but doesn't realize that her purpose for the greater majority of those solicitations are solely there for Use (one time, two time, maybe three time) and discard. She can't see that far into the future being the emotional "look at all my offers, I must be awesome!!"

 

[flowtheory]

Not really, just trying to understand their thought process. I swear, just an hour ago, she texts me, Rick, I am sorry. WTF? I deleted it as I do entertain ladies who play games. I do not orbit. No interest, move on.

You’re trying to understand her words and not looking at her actions and letting that speak for itself.
Plus, you’ll never understand any woman’s thought processes

 

[Glassguy]

Toad, you care too much about what happens with these women. Line up like 3-5 dates in one week and it will teach you not to scrutinize or care too much.

I agree with this. Too much care, thought and attention being given to literally nothing but a 20 minute phone convo (and a frustrating one at that).

You have 2 options:

1.) Hit her up mid next week "Hey stranger....lets get together Friday"

2.) Do nothing and see what she does. My guess is something happened beyond your control and such goes the dating life.

I would solidly choose #2. You made the date, she accepted then canceled with NO counteroffer. I would be total crickets unless she hit me up. If she does contact you, go straight for making a date and disappear until then. No more investing, even over the phone.

"Hey good to hear from you. I am crazy busy right now but lets meet up Friday at 8 for a drink at such and such place".

You will find out if she is an attention wh0re or not and go from there.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Why talk to cratered smv?

 

[The Duke]

No disrespect to anyone in particular, and I don't know if it's just me, but the "advice" lately on SS has really hit a new low.

A few things on this post and thread:

1- It's SMART to NOT use your actual phone number in online dating. OLD is loaded with scammers and fakes. We all know this. I do OLD and use a (out of state area code) Google Voice number for all calling and texting. Why the f*uck would you give a total stranger you haven't even met yet, except for a few OLD messages, your actual phone number? The woman is SMART to use a Match.com number. And maybe the Match.com call quality sucked, or maybe it WAS your or her cell network provider. Bad calls happen, so what.

2-This is right out of biology and psychology 101 class but women have more to consider in OLD, IRL dating, and sex--than men. Google and research if you need me to elaborate or you if just don't get it.

3- ANYONE who wants to indulge in OLD needs to remain as anonymous as possible early on until you meet and establish a level of comfort and trust. I don't tell OLD people my real name (I'm Dash until then) until well into date one or two. It's only smart. It ain't 1954 anymore folks...

4- She has a friend whom she knows a lot better than you (you haven't even f*ucking met yet!) who wants to celebrate. Great, you can do another time. You're NOT #1 on her priority list. Try to schedule something later. If she's elusive, THEN next her, but giver her a chance or two.

The woman in question here is not flaky, unauthentic, whatever. IMO, she's playing it smart.

Dash- If I remember correctly you date a lot of girls off SA that you don't pay for. I could totally see why you would use a fake/temporary number for that(because these girls get pissed when you don't pay and take off.....I have a friend that does that or uses fake money ), but I've never had an issue with regular non hooker dating sites nor have I ever heard of any guy having problems.

 

[Tilex]

This is unacceptable flakey behavior.
Just move on.

Her excuse was incoherent and nonsensical.
She agreed to plans with you on friday, but cancels because she wants to party Friday, Saturday, and Sunday with her friend because her friend earned a certificate?
Bulllllllllshhhhhhhiiiiiiitttttt!!!!

 

[marmel75]

This is unacceptable flakey behavior.
Just move on.

Her excuse was incoherent and nonsensical.
She agreed to plans with you on friday, but cancels because she wants to party Friday, Saturday, and Sunday with her friend because her friend earned a certificate?
Bulllllllllshhhhhhhiiiiiiitttttt!!!!

Its called I had a better offer come my way so i have to make up some nonsense excuse.

In the end he just wasnt high enough on her list. No shame, it happens to everyone to varying degrees. Just keep it moving.

Even if she did meet up with you, she would bounce as soon as a guy she was more interested in came her way due to lack of interest in you OP.

OP Consider that she did you a favor of you not wasting any time and/or money.

 

[nismo-4]

Second place is first loser OP.

Why else would she use you for attention and drop you the day of? Because Chad hit her up after 2 weeks.

Now all she wants righr now with you is beta orbiting.

 

[RickTheToad]

Toads don't orbit. We just hop away. Three other dates/meets already lined up. Amazing what new pics do for ya.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Dash- If I remember correctly you date a lot of girls off SA that you don't pay for. I could totally see why you would use a fake/temporary number for that(because these girls get pissed when you don't pay and take off.....I have a friend that does that or uses fake money ), but I've never had an issue with regular non hooker dating sites nor have I ever heard of any guy having problems.

I do date a lot of girls off of SA and they know upfront what I pay for and don't. I certainly don't do allowances or pay for dates or s*ex, but don't mind and actually enjoy treating to other fun things (games, theater, dinner, rafting, etc.). The girls are hot and mostly fun and don't mind an age gap of 15-20 years, BUT they are mostly quite damaged. Easy s*ex. For fun only.

 

[Trump]

This lady messaged me and after two messages, she gave me a phone number. I actually asked to meet for drinks first, but she wanted to speak on the phone first. I called, but went to VM. We finally spoke last night.

Frame bro.

‘Let’s meet for drinks.’
‘I want to speak on the phone first.’
‘OK here is my number, call me.’

Turn it back on them. Use their own words against them.

Our call kept on getting disconnected and she nor me knew why. I did a little more digging on her number, and she was using a MatchPhone number to conceal her real number. I guess it is fine, but that was why we were being disconnected. Either myself or her had to keep on calling each other back. She blamed it on Verizon, but it's the fake MatchPhone number she was using. I didn't call her out, as it was pointless.

Why pointless? Always call them out bro. Otherwise they will be thinking they are dealing with a...not so smart guy.

We talked for about 20 mins and seemed to have similar interests, so I suggested we meet for a drink since we're having issues with the phone. She agreed and offered either Friday or Sunday, I selected Friday and sent her a text of the address to where we're going to meet.

She suggested “Friday or Saturday.’’ If you don’t object to either day, it tells her you have nothing to do on the weekend except meet her either day anytime.

An hour later, keep in mind, we spoke at 9pm, she texted me a paragraph stating one of her best friends just received a certificate or something and wants to celebrate this weekend with her so she's going to have to take a rain check. I replied back a this afternoon, no problem. Another time then.

What do you guys mean “No problem? That’s cool?’ Are we too scared to let these girls feel it?

I would say: “Oh I just cancelled my other plans and made reservations at the place to meet you. Disappointed you couldn’t follow through to say the least.”

What if you cancelled another date with a 25 year blonde girl you had Friday night between 9 pm - 10 pm to meet this girl? Now you got 2 dates cancelled and are stuck at home Friday watching Shark Tank. But it’s ‘no problem?’

Brutal.

 

[marmel75]

Frame bro.

‘Let’s meet for drinks.’
‘I want to speak on the phone first.’
‘OK here is my number, call me.’

Turn it back on them. Use their own words against them.



Why pointless? Always call them out bro. Otherwise they will be thinking they are dealing with a...not so smart guy.



She suggested “Friday or Saturday.’’ If you don’t object to either day, it tells her you have nothing to do on the weekend except meet her either day anytime.



What do you guys mean “No problem? That’s cool?’ Are we too scared to let these girls feel it?

I would say: “Oh I just cancelled my other plans and made reservations at the place to meet you. Disappointed you couldn’t follow through to say the least.”

What if you cancelled another date with a 25 year blonde girl you had Friday night between 9 pm - 10 pm to meet this girl? Now you got 2 dates cancelled and are stuck at home Friday watching Shark Tank. But it’s ‘no problem?’

Brutal.

Why get mad over a woman who clearly isnt interested enough? She did OP a favor by cancelling. Maybe that boosts your ego to do that but its pretty pointless.

 

[RickTheToad]

Working on my frame. No excuse, but I've been out of the game for a decade. Different rules now. Just finished The Rational Male. Any other books I should read to help get my game up?

P.S. I couldn't do Saturday, as I already have plans, but she didn't offer Saturday, so it's a mute issue. She offered Friday or Sunday. Last weekend she was completely booked, which sounded weird that she could only meet up on Friday - Sunday. There are four other days in the week.

I do not over react, shows you care too much. I just let it fall. I do not give them the satisfaction of knowing they get to me. Which, it's not that she got to me, I am just trying to understand her logic. I wrote her off last week, and she texted me out of the blue. There's nothing wrong with using Matchphone if she wants to protect her privacy. However, there are better options which have a better connection. All the other women I've talked to were crystal clear. So, I know it wasn't on my end.

No reason to get into an argument with a stranger. If she doesn't want to meet me, that's fine. Saves me 40 bucks. However, since it took us a week or so to connect, I thought she was going to flake. Hence, I didn't call ahead to the place. Reason being, she even said let's check back on Friday to see we're still on.

It's okay. I'm starting to get used to the rejection thing that it doesn't bother me as much anymore. I have another meet/date setup for tonight and one of the other ladies just messaged me back to do something with them either Monday or Wednesday.

No shortage of women. She was just close, so it would had made things easier logistical wise.

I wouldn't even consider a 25 year old, so I do not see that as a problem that I'd ever face. I'm 36 living in Bridgeport, CT. Unless I go to Manhattan or Brooklyn, the women in their 20's have little interest. It's just too far and too much money to waste, so I try to stay in Fairfield County now.

 

[RickTheToad]

Why get mad over a woman who clearly isnt interested enough? She did OP a favor by cancelling. Maybe that boosts your ego to do that but its pretty pointless.

I'm becoming numb to it, so it doesn't bother me as much. My buddy who I went out with tonight says I'll bet you she'll reach out to you again. I said, what's the point. Obviously, her attraction level wasn't high enough so she made up a BS excuse an hour later. To add insult to injury, she then texts me again saying I'm sorry. She's playing mind games, and she did me a favor. I don't play those games. No wonder she's 37 and divorced w/ lyme disease. She also said my accent was very city like. Well, yea, I'm from the Bronx. She then said, she was from the city too, but was able to train herself to lose the accent.

Italian women... They seem to get worse with age.

 

[marmel75]

I'm becoming numb to it, so it doesn't bother me as much. My buddy who I went out with tonight says I'll bet you she'll reach out to you again. I said, what's the point. Obviously, her attraction level wasn't high enough so she made up a BS excuse an hour later. To add insult to injury, she then texts me again saying I'm sorry. She's playing mind games, and she did me a favor. I don't play those games. No wonder she's 37 and divorced w/ lyme disease. She also said my accent was very city like. Well, yea, I'm from the Bronx. She then said, she was from the city too, but was able to train herself to lose the accent.

Italian women... They seem to get worse with age.

Maybe, but they love anal which gives them a big boost in my book

 

[RickTheToad]

Maybe, but they love anal which gives them a big boost in my book

Happy to hear you're getting some poonanie from the Italians.

 

[RickTheToad]

I usually go right for the drink invite too. Most shoot back, sure call me and we can set something up.