"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Online dating experts, I need your help

bigdave17

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I did match.com, found a bunch of cute latinas and messaged them all


None of these girls have even read my messages. Are they all bots or can they not reply because they're not subscribers? It's offering a 10 dollar monthly charge so they can reply for free, should I pay for that?


and then I did Okcupid and I can't find any cuties at all. I found like 3 6-7s after scouring and scouring. I live 30 miles from Chicago. How is there not tons of 7-10s on these sites?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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mrgoodstuff

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I did match.com, found a bunch of cute latinas and messaged them all


None of these girls have even read my messages. Are they all bots or can they not reply because they're not subscribers? It's offering a 10 dollar monthly charge so they can reply for free, should I pay for that?


and then I did Okcupid and I can't find any cuties at all. I found like 3 6-7s after scouring and scouring. I live 30 miles from Chicago. How is there not tons of 7-10s on these sites?
Swipe right hit all. Its easier in person.
 

bigdave17

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Use plenty of fish. Online dating is all about total volume. Okcupid just isn't good.

what about match.com? I was told it's excellent and it's garbage. Nobody on there has even read my message!


Should I pay for that feature where anybody can read my message?
 
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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devilkingx2

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I heard match and eharmony were slightly better for LTR and in general than normal online dating BS since you have to pay for those, nobody is just messing around. but those are just random rumors
 

bigdave17

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I heard match and eharmony were slightly better for LTR and in general than normal online dating BS since you have to pay for those, nobody is just messing around. but those are just random rumors
what a waste of money to pay for match
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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bigdave17

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Match is one of the best of the OLD sites that minimizes or even eliminates bot/fake ads. The feature you're talking about is about the only additional feature I pay for and is worth anything, because it keeps a line of communication open to all women on the site, not just a narrow band of paid subscribers.

This is why I told you earlier to place your ad and forget it. Check in once a day and move on in real life. You're chasing ghosts and wasting time by combing through hundreds of ads and trying to initiate contact with them; older profiles/women who haven't logged in for weeks, women who signed up as a gag or on a dare, women who are just looking for orbiters, women swamped by 100s of hungry guys just like you.... fvck all that.

You have to learn how to draw them into you, rather than work off of the mercy of them "giving you a shot or a chance".




Dave, your pictures do about 80% of the work in this online medium. The content of your ad just gives them a little nudge of influence to contact you. This is why I told you earlier that if your ad doesn't seem to be working, change your pictures up before changing anything else.

Yes, yes, I know.... you say you look like crap in pictures.... you're not photogenic. Well guess what, neither am I. It is very very hard for me to find a photograph that accurately reflects what I look like in person. Very difficult. So I very much understand where you are coming from.

I VERY STRONGLY SUGGEST you make use of a site called Photofeeler.com.

I strongly suggest it for you, not only because you need an unbiased opinion on your photos/looks, but because you also very much need to know precisely how you are seen in the eyes of random women who don't know a god damn thing about you.

Photofeeler members rank your pics on 3 facets:

1) Smart/intelligent looking
2) Trustworthy looking
3) Attractiveness

This is going to tell you everything you need to know about why you are attracting or not attracting women in OLD, or even IRL, and which picture you should be using as the main pic on your profile. The site allows you to set the people providing feedback on your photo only to women within a certain age range. Make use of that.

If you want those 7+ women to interact with you, you should be scoring 80% or higher on the attractiveness scale and, optimally, 60%+ in intelligence & trustworthiness.

If you want 8's & 9's, it would be optimal using a photo that ranks 90%+ in attraction and 70%+ in the other features.

You're very likely going to have to try a lot of different photos to hit those numbers, but once you do, I can assure you Match will not be a waste of time. Those women will not only write back to you, they will begin to initiate.
thanks for the great advice

so the reply for free feature is worth all the money?
 

Mike32ct

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Match is one of the best of the OLD sites that minimizes or even eliminates bot/fake ads. The feature you're talking about is about the only additional feature I pay for and is worth anything, because it keeps a line of communication open to all women on the site, not just a narrow band of paid subscribers.

This is why I told you earlier to place your ad and forget it. Check in once a day and move on in real life. You're chasing ghosts and wasting time by combing through hundreds of ads and trying to initiate contact with them; older profiles/women who haven't logged in for weeks, women who signed up as a gag or on a dare, women who are just looking for orbiters, women swamped by 100s of hungry guys just like you.... fvck all that.

You have to learn how to draw them into you, rather than work off of the mercy of them "giving you a shot or a chance".




Dave, your pictures do about 80% of the work in this online medium. The content of your ad just gives them a little nudge of influence to contact you. This is why I told you earlier that if your ad doesn't seem to be working, change your pictures up before changing anything else.

Yes, yes, I know.... you say you look like crap in pictures.... you're not photogenic. Well guess what, neither am I. It is very very hard for me to find a photograph that accurately reflects what I look like in person. Very difficult. So I very much understand where you are coming from.

I VERY STRONGLY SUGGEST you make use of a site called Photofeeler.com.

I strongly suggest it for you, not only because you need an unbiased opinion on your photos/looks, but because you also very much need to know precisely how you are seen in the eyes of random women who don't know a god damn thing about you.

Photofeeler members rank your pics on 3 facets:

1) Smart/intelligent looking
2) Trustworthy looking
3) Attractiveness

This is going to tell you everything you need to know about why you are attracting or not attracting women in OLD, or even IRL, and which picture you should be using as the main pic on your profile. The site allows you to set the people providing feedback on your photo only to women within a certain age range. Make use of that.

If you want those 7+ women to interact with you, you should be scoring 80% or higher on the attractiveness scale and, optimally, 60%+ in intelligence & trustworthiness.

If you want 8's & 9's, it would be optimal using a photo that ranks 90%+ in attraction and 70%+ in the other features.

You're very likely going to have to try a lot of different photos to hit those numbers, but once you do, I can assure you Match will not be a waste of time. Those women will not only write back to you, they will begin to initiate.
Agree 100 percent. I’m actually at a coffee shop right now about to meet a match date.

But, on the photofeeler thing, how can someone “look” intelligent lol? Not sarcasm. Genuine curioisity.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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EyeBRollin

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what would you rate yourself?

a quality 8/10 is perfect anyways
If I had height I’d be a 10/10. It’s the only thing I don’t have.

I’m a lighter skinned black man with light eyes, athletic physique, and white collar career.

But like I said, it’s all in the pictures. Drop some dough and get em professionally done.
 

Mike32ct

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Have you ever looked at a really hot woman and immediately thought to yourself "bimbo"? Well, women can often look at a very attractive man and immediately think "meat head". Bimbos and meatheads can be very attractive but also look dumb as hell.

Attractive people can often be perceived as less trustworthy as well.


Usually, the more trustworthy and intelligent you look, the less attractive you're likely being perceived. The more attractive you look, the less intelligent and trustworthy you're likely to be perceived.

It's actually very difficult to look attractive, smart and trustworthy all at the same time.
Yeah I get what you mean. Thanks
 

bigdave17

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If I had height I’d be a 10/10. It’s the only thing I don’t have.

I’m a lighter skinned black man with light eyes, athletic physique, and white collar career.

But like I said, it’s all in the pictures. Drop some dough and get em professionally done.
do you put your income on it?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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