"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Onetis with someone I'll never see again

sanoj

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I've been in a "unofficial relationship" a while now and i guess the only reason its not official is because she is moving over seas in a month. We'll probably never going to live in the same town again. It's been great. She is hot, into me and the sex is fantastic.

I think about her way too much and I am starting to think that when christmas comes around and she is out of my life, I am going to get a little depressed.

How can I protect my feelings at this point?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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sanoj

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Yes. She's been talking about that she can't wait to see me again after her trip(a semester). And now she's invited me to take a vacation together before her trip.

Damn. Each time she is giving something of her self, I feel the need to do the same. Gotta learn to keep the power she gives me.

I feel more and more AFC as the relationship develops.


One other thing that has been bothering me is that she has a picture of her and her male friend hugging as her profile picture on Facebook. Maybe she is trying to make me jealous. Is that normal? I know I should'nt act like it bothers me, but it does. Kinda disrespectful, right?
 

hansol

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Well, you're either together or you're not. If it's "unofficial" like you said, don't expect the things that come from being in a monogamous and committed relationship. You're making it out to be something it isn't, and that is bad news bears. You're upset over a facebook pic? Really? ...

Be happy with the time you spent together. Enjoy it for what it is, and really, 4 months isn't that long. Let her do her thing, you do your thing, and if something is for real between you guys, then you'll pick up where you left off.

Don't turn into a dramatic wuss and pretend there is something between you and her that isn't actually there. And from what you've said, this sounds fairly casual and non-committal, so don't wreck it with facebook nonsense.
 

sanoj

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I guess you're right, hansol. I should be happy with the time we spent together.

It's just too bad I don't have a back-up girl that I want to spend time with at the moment ^^
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Chickfight

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Ouch. :crackup:
Well, you really should have listened.
What else can you do? Learn and move on. She's not worth being bitter about. Consider yourself lucky it's over.
 
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