how the **** do you get a girl you are infactuated with out of your head!! its becoming a complete pain in the ass...doing my best to control it at the minute and not destroy the relationship (still not exclusive yet) but its ****in annoying!!
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
oneitis
- Thread starter hot stuff
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
SoldMySoul
Master Don Juan
Be patient and someone will answer you... Of course you will hear spin more plates and Fuk 10 girls. Just don't go and do like I did this weekend and spend all day with her. I had oneitis for this girl months ago and thought I had gotten over it. Stupid a$$ me goes and opens almost closed wounds. Getting over this takes time and I feel your pain. I just wish I had a better answer. More of an empathy post than an answer. If we had more options then that would be a start. I have been laying back and not really trying though. Good luck!!!
Sir Juanalot
Senior Don Juan
The way get over any girl is to get under another :yes:
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Rebound Material
Master Don Juan
Don't we all hate getting trapped in this spider web called oneitis especially when our interest levels are higher than theirs?
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=107447
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=107447
Yeah like everone else said, meet other girls. I actually ran into a girl I had onetis with yesterday. While I was chatting with her I asked my self why I was so obsessed with her. She was nothing special, she had nice boobs but that's about it. But I now have oneitis with a girl I met over the summer, it never ends.
Hey man, I think the best thing you can take away from that post is what squirrel said:
"One-itis is a misdirected feeling of NEED toward someone. You put all your faith in them and get to a point where you feel that you NEED them to fulfill you. In reality, the only person you should feel one-itis for is the person in the mirror."
His statement is 300% correct, and you should ingrain that into your head.
You will get over it, but first you need to let it go. I know that can be easier said than done but in reality, if you again read that quote, there is no reason you should be feeling One-itis for any woman. No matter how "cool" they seem, it's just not worth it. Meeting other girls is the best way to stop the feeling.
"One-itis is a misdirected feeling of NEED toward someone. You put all your faith in them and get to a point where you feel that you NEED them to fulfill you. In reality, the only person you should feel one-itis for is the person in the mirror."
His statement is 300% correct, and you should ingrain that into your head.
You will get over it, but first you need to let it go. I know that can be easier said than done but in reality, if you again read that quote, there is no reason you should be feeling One-itis for any woman. No matter how "cool" they seem, it's just not worth it. Meeting other girls is the best way to stop the feeling.
then whats the point of risk taking.. whats the point of datingPaper Boy said:
guy you cannot control these aruges.. if u fall for someone.. you cannnot control that. You also cannot control your attraction towards someone.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
i agree... i have been a DJ playing girls for about a year now and to be honest it feels hollow sometimes! i don't think it is AFC by anymeans to have oneitis and being in love as long as its 2 wayed!!! alot of DJs on this forum are stone cold who cannot feel emotion, or are being trained to! Thats bull****sexy_kuta said:
My oneitis is not completely misdirected as we have been with each other for a month now! i just wish i didnt fall so fast because i am afraid of becoming too desperate!! however think that this forum has trained me not to jump into things and take things slowly and be PATIENT! just wish i wasnt as infactuated so quickly!lol
